December 12, 2005
Superman's Package
Maybe that's why they call him SUPERman. This was just way too funny not to post. But apparently the studio execs are not very happy with an element of Bryan Singer's new Superman film. Oh they aren't worried about the quality of the production... they're worried about the size of Brandon Routh's bulge.
Apparently the new "Man of Steel" is so well endowed, the costure department had to fit him with a special codpiece for the movie. The execs are worried the bulge is going to become a distraction. The good folks over at Ananova then tell us what they're going to do about it:
The Sun's source said: "It's a major issue for the studio. Brandon is extremely well endowed and they don't want it up on the big screen.How good must life be for Brandon Routh right now? I can just see him in a club hitting on some woman: "Yeah baby... they had to hire another special effects company to REDUCE the size of Mr. Krypton if you know what I mean". Too funny."We may be forced to erase his package with digital effects."
Posted by John Campea at December 12, 2005 10:34 AM
Comments
Posted by: Brad Shipston at December 12, 2005 11:52 AM
this was basically the story of Burt Ward, aka Robin, during the old 60s Batman run... it had to be taped/tucked in.
Posted by: Goon at December 12, 2005 01:35 PM
doubtful that Routh is using that line on LADIES.
Posted by: dr. theopolis at December 12, 2005 03:29 PM
Yes aren't both Routh and Singer gay? This suddenly puts the man of steel in a whole new light.
Posted by: Sean at December 12, 2005 05:40 PM
Routh is not gay, as for Singer, I'm not sure, but it doesnt matter.
Posted by: Joey at December 12, 2005 06:10 PM
Singer is openly gay, but I don't think it had anything to do with his filming of a hero in blue tights. (and then again...) No, seriously. There was a mean spirited internet urban legend about this whole thing when casting of Superman/Kent was going on- where his lead actor for Supes would have to be out of the phone booth, so to speak.
That crazy stuff was total garbage, of course, and I think this entire discussion of a studio CG'ing Routh's codpiece and/or wang out is crazy. Why? I'm willing to bet there's little,if any, truth to it and it's nothing but a bit of misinformation. On the other hand, perhaps the studio recalls the laughter and outrage over the S&M; on "Batman & Robin" nd the codpiece contreversy there.
Now, here's the real question : Supes, after being away in space for so long, he's happy to see Lois. But there's a problem, see. And Supes has to confess. Yes, he can leap a tall building in a single bound. Yes, he can outrun a train. True- he still can stop bullets.
"But Lois, I'm not really SuperMAN anymore. See, I just found out Kryptonite isn't the only thing that can hurt me. Thes evil computer wizards...they just took my ...well, you still love me no matter what, right? Even if I don't have..."that" anymore"
"SuperMAN, just 'come out' and say it. You're supposed to tell the truth"
"Okay, Lois. Just remember I love you"
"Okay"
"Lois, they took my balls"
"What!"
"And they reduced ...well, you ever see a grain of rice?"
((((Lois faints))))
And Superman still saves the world, he just isn't smiling anymore...
Posted by: darren seeley at December 12, 2005 07:00 PM
to paraphrase probably the funniest line i've ever heard Doug say on the audio edition:
"a million jokes trying to escape my mouth..."
Posted by: mogulus at December 12, 2005 11:31 PM
Well at least we all know he's a good driver!
Posted by: Marla Singer at December 13, 2005 01:22 AM
I wonder if the aerodynamics mess up because of it.
Posted by: johnbeludoe at December 13, 2005 09:36 PM
Also, anyone notice how big Routh's feet are? I mean it...look at those things...what size does he wear...I think big feet on a dude are hot...but those are really big.
Posted by: WestCoastDude at December 15, 2005 01:42 AM
Hmmm... Sounds familar.