October 24, 2005
Changes in George Lucas's Lord of the Rings: Special Edition
This was just too funny. I found this great little list over at BBspot via the good folks at Filmrot. As most of you know... Mr. George Lucas made some... lets say "modifications" to Star Wars with his "special edition" releases. Well someone took the time to imagine what would happen if George was given charge over producing a "Lord of the Ring: Special Edition".
The thing is... not only is this list funny... I bet it's all true. :)
11. Hobbit's resistance to the ring is caused by the high number of Midichlorians they posess.
10. One hyphenated word: Jar-Jaromir!
9. Gandalf to set off fifteen minute fireworks display every time the party stops to rest.
8. "Help me Tom Bombadil, you are my only hope."
7. All Orcs actually clones of Wormtongue.
6. Extra hobbits added digitally. Like, loads of hobbits. Especially in Mordor. Kids love hobbits, right?
5. Witch King hilariously eaten by Oliphant.
4. "It's about this one guy, Gollum, and how he is redeemed through hard work."
3. Elves have these really cool houses in the trees.
2. At The Prancing Pony, Bill Ferny shoots Aragorn first.
1. All poetry of original restored, complete with musical backing and endless CG dancers.
I love it. Come on guys... can you think of a couple more to add to that list? Come up with some good ones and I'll mention them on tonights Audio Edition. Go go go!
Posted by John Campea at October 24, 2005 12:47 PM
Comments
Posted by: Lou_Sytsma at October 24, 2005 02:09 PM
you find out in the third film that the seemingly benefactual leader Aragorn, turns out to be Sauron in disguise, and makes Frodo his league in siege , going through the countryside and obliterating EVERYONE who is also from New Zeland (kiwi stew).
over the course of another 3 movies, Frodo will be redeemed when it is revealed that merry and pip are not actually hobbits but are in fact, just really really short, genetically inferior elf hobbit hybrids, and find the good in him. Of course, the downfall of sauron will actually come when he , instead of just chopping off Pip's head, he instead gleefully shocks him for ten minutes, insulting him and getting thrown into the fires of mount doom by Frodo himself, who does so using a catapult that he builds using duct tape and used cereal packets.
Posted by: mogulus at October 24, 2005 02:10 PM
The scene in fellowship where arwen and frodo and running on horseback from the dead guys. The horses will be will replaced with pods and a race will ensue.
All of Gandolf lines will be replaced with the line "I hate when he does that."
Posted by: CitizenDick ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](../../../../nav-commenters.gif)
at October 24, 2005 04:00 PM
numerous characters would have a "bad feeling about this" at least twice per movie
Posted by: dudenamedsteve at October 24, 2005 05:37 PM
Don't forget, at the end of the film Sam will see Frodo, Gandalf, and Gollum's ghosts, all blue and hazy, but for some reason Frodo will have his face removed and replaced with some other actor's thru CGI, then they will dance to a strange and unstasfying song...
Posted by: Chris at October 24, 2005 06:34 PM
as Gollum dies: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
Posted by: Goon at October 24, 2005 06:34 PM
Those aren't funny. At all.
Posted by: Fredo Teabaggins at October 25, 2005 12:10 AM
Amen. I looked at that and thought "I fart funnier than that." Tired. Unimaginative. Boring.
Posted by: chark hammis at October 25, 2005 02:57 AM
I am still straight faced.
Posted by: Simone at October 25, 2005 03:43 AM
I agree not funny at all.
Move along please, nothing to see here!
Posted by: Morbius at October 25, 2005 04:28 AM
OK here's a couple:
1) Sauron would Frodo confront directly when Frodo is hanging from the ledge inside Mt. Doom. There Sauron would proclaim to be Frodo's father!
2) When Gandalf returns he can only be seen in ghostly form.
3) Lucas will announce at the conclusion of Return of the King that he will be revisting Middle Earth in a prequel trilogy entitled The Hobbits. Some of the Ewoks will make cameo appearances.
4) All the walking parts will be cut out reducing the SE to one movie.
5) The footage of Arwen fighting at Helm's Deep would be added back in 'cause audiences love feisty chicks!