July 26, 2005

Jessica Simpson in Major Movie Star

Jessica Simpson should have stayed in her little home with her little husband Shooting her little TV Show and singing her little songs. That this chick is getting major film roles really burns me up. Why? Because she's not an actress. Period. If you want to read me rant on about that you can go here.

So now it's being reported that Jessica Simpson has landed the lead role in "Major Movie Star". Ugg. The good folks over at ComingSoon give us this little bit of insight:

Jessica Simpson, who makes her feature debut as Daisy Duke in The Dukes of Hazzard on August 5th, tells ComingSoon.net that her next project is titled Major Movie Star. In the film, to be produced by "Dukes" producer Bill Gerber, Simpson will play an actress who has hit rockbottom and enlists in the marine reserve.
Shoot me. Jessica is an attractive women... no arguments from me... but she sucks. Have you seen the trailers? How painful was it everytime she would speak? Anyway, perhaps I'm being unfair and I should see The Dukes of Hazzard first before passing judgment.

Ummm... Nope. I'm going to pass judgment now. She sucks. She can't act... because... she's not an actress. She's a singer. So go sing something lady and leave the acting to the actors.


Posted by John Campea at July 26, 2005 03:43 PM


Comments

Oh would you stop whining. If you'd seen her on SNL, you would know she's rather good at acting.

I'm afraid I can't support this "singer's CANNOT be actors" theory any longer because, well, one person can both sing, dance, AND act in a musical. Sorry bud, I think you're just bitter for some unkown reason.

Posted by: Andrew Edmark at July 26, 2005 05:14 PM

The biggest mystery about Jessica Simpsons "acting" is this. How can someone from Texas be unable to do a southern accent?!?!

I've never heard a worse read than her saying "It looks like something got caught in my undercarriage".

Posted by: Andrew Earmark at July 26, 2005 05:20 PM

Hey Anddrew.

I'm sorry... are you suggesting playing in SNL skits is the same as ACTING?!?!

Also, I never said a singer CAN'T be an actor too. The perfect example of this is Mark Walhberg. He left singing, took a couple of years of serious acting lessons... did some live stage theatre... and then some smaller parts in films. That's how you do it.

These singers who haven't put in 1 ounce of real life training, or done any stage work... can then step in and do the job that people have been training for and perfecting for 10-15 years of their life? That bugs me.

Simpson (by her own admission) has no training... hasn't appeared in any real theatre or stage work... but she's got nice titties and so she gets handed a lead role in a film that should have gone to an actual actress.

As a result... there's just one more reasons why Dukes of Hazzard will suck. Maybe she'll surprise us all... but I highly highly doubt it.

Cheers!

Posted by: John Campea at July 26, 2005 05:44 PM

Most of the people we see in films are chosen because there's a quality that they bring to a role which is readily identifiable to an audience and has nothing to do with twisting themselves and becoming unrecognizable in a role like so-called "method" actors to do. There simply aren't many roles out there like that anyway. Most "actors" are not truly "stretching". No one's buying Nicole Kidman as a comedic actress because she registers as something else and she's a "good" actor. Her inner personality doesn't allow for her to be goofy - that's just who she is. Jessica Simpson, like most "actors" (John Wayne included) fit a charactor TYPE: she is the very pretty, fun girl whose got some sass to her. She could've been in the film Legally Blonde and she would've ROCKED it. Give the chick a break and stop being so snobby.

Posted by: Crystal at July 26, 2005 09:43 PM

To say that singers (and dancers) aren't qualified to be called actors is to negate most of the American movie stars of the 40s, 50s and part of the 60s. Take a look at the rosters: Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, Lena Horne, the list goes on and on and on. Most singers CAN act because they have to hold they're own on the stage and there is a certain amount of "acting" or performance that's goes along with that. And to say that singers and dancers haven't had years and years of training, oh please. There was a time when you had to more than mumble your words and crawl on the floor and pretend you were a hamster in order to be considered a fully rounded performer whether for the stage or film.

Posted by: Tsalagi Scottish Lass at July 26, 2005 09:50 PM

Not withstanding that "Scotish Lass" and "Crystal" are actually the same person writing form the same IP address (it's so pathetic when someone writes with another name to agree with themselves)... let me address a couple of things she said:

In the 40's talking film was basically still a new medium. What was most important was not talent... but celebrity. Things have changed. We don't look at performances the same way today that we did then... and the craft of acting for the screen has evolved a lot. So has singing.

To say that "Most "actors" are not truly "stretching"" is just ridiculous. You'll see. Even in the trailers Jessica Simpson is totally flat and unbelievable. When she speaks her lines you almost fall on the floor laughing (and not in a good way).

When someone is on screen who doesn't know what they're doing... it shows. It's painfully obvious in the trailer and once again it will show here.

Posted by: John Campea at July 26, 2005 10:49 PM

jessica simpson sings? had me fooled.

Posted by: bond, james bond at July 27, 2005 05:54 PM

Jessica Simpson actually sucks, sucks, sucks. She is the definition of genetic garbage. She is where she is only because of being babied and spoonfed all her life by parents who have taught her no self-reliance skills-only how to shake her ass and make money like a hooker. Talent-that's debatable. It's hard to watch her sing because she looks like she's trying to stop an epilectic seizure with all that neck popping she does. Michael J. Fox has Parkinson's honey, not you! The fact that she was even too lazy to get some diction tapes (or too ignorant) and practice her southern accent-it makes me sick. She's from Texas! Georgia and Texas accents aren't that different! I've lived in both states and know what I'm talking about. She didn't WORK hard for this role or anything else for that matter. It's all been handed to her because she's a pretty package with no substance. Looks don't last though. It'll catch up one day.
For now she's a tittie baby by every definition of the phrase. She has a nice rack and it gets her by.

Posted by: duujuu at July 28, 2005 12:23 PM

For the most part I agree with the first guy,she is trying to make more money and doing a crap ass job at it!If you have heard any of the interviews she has done with people this acting thing is somthing that she is planing on from now on insted of singing.It's not going to take off,she has already offended the christian groups with this movie and then she is going to try and do some other type of movie that is more main stream and toned down for the little kids and families and that won't work ither because the parents wont want the kids to see some slut on the movie. She screwed her self and her music isn't that good and by the time all the hype is over with this the Spears girl will be done having her baby and back to take over her place just you watch. I will be taking bets!

Posted by: katie at July 31, 2005 03:12 PM

ps.Georgia and Texas are majorly different bro!!!

Posted by: katie at July 31, 2005 03:18 PM

Sorry, I have to take up for Jessica.....Actually, I'm not sorry. I think she IS funny, a good singer, and she seems down to earth. So, she might say things before she thinks; doesn't everyone? Infact, I wish I could meet her in person, because she's probably way more fun to hang around with; compared to any one of you that apparently for some strange reason, has serious jealousy issues over her success. I'm almost willing to bet that one of you who has posted something on here is aspiring to be an actor/actress and is probably very angry because YOU are not having much luck at being successful and you are taking it out on her. A lot of people are buying her cosmetics, CD's, clothing and etc...Apparently she does NOT suck as much as you think she does. IMO, my friend, you are apparently the one who sucks and can't control your whining!!!

CIAO

Posted by: Shannon at July 31, 2005 07:26 PM

Well, Jessica Simpson just happened to have the luck of being picked from thousands of other (maybe) more talented women trying to make a career either singing or acting.
Remember how she started? I wouldn't call that a hit by no means, she was unknown or at the most a very low whisper behind Britney Spears, and Christina Aguilera songs and "girl-to-femme fatalle" transformations. She's just another "I.Q.less" physycally alterable woman who fell on the vicious cycle of:

-START HUMBLY (newborn "star")
-GET SOME FAME (grow)
-MAKE THE CHANGE TO WEAR LESS AND MARKET YOURSELF BETTER(multiply)
-HURRY BEFORE ANOTHER FAKE BLONDE TAKES OVER(die)

The perfect recipe: just mix pushy media, eager "teenage crisis" fans, a personal slogan (stigma?) "is it chicken or tuna?", manager skilled parents, and "voila": you have a real Hollyweird story.

I do agree that she is not an actress, nor a good singer, just someone with a "lucky" fluke...yeps, "ces't la vie"...

Posted by: Kelly Kushner at August 3, 2005 11:14 PM

Jessica's void of all talent, but I'd go further -- she looks like a man, and the only difference b/w her and Homer Simpson is Homer's boobs are real. She can "sing" other hits okay -- but can't sing a new tune to save her life. She can't act. She just bleached her hair and threw some saline into her bee-sting chest and was told "you're a star" I officially retire from my ranting -- someone so clueless and talentless is no longer worth my time or thoughts.

Posted by: MJ at August 5, 2005 04:24 PM

KKK I for once jessica simpsons suucks dirrty balls man! I mean she completely killed these boots are made for walking that little skank! jeez i mean look at a the video she looks like liek a 9 year old on a diet trying to srtip i mean comom! she really in fact sucks at dancing! dumbasss!pfft and dukes of hazard she soo killed that ! yes, we all say stupid things but still you can'T possibly be as stupid as jessica dumbass simpson not to mension her du,bass sister who's even stupider even tho her voice is better then jessica's.like why do people even bother ... yes she can sing but liek dad does liike all her songs! what happened to smart girls! liek teh fuuuk!well you can'T have evrything! haha i don'T understand why nick dind'T dump her good for nothing ass yet LOL! BNick insnt that hott anyways.. and he'S also goo d for nothing i mean he's basicly famous for marieing jessica dumbass lol even tho he was in 98 degres and blah blah blah . I think the only reason Newleeweds is popular is cause she'S soo stupid . well then if stupidity brings you anywhere why don'T we all just get married and be on t.v and just act stupid Lmao like wtf. ohh fuck i'm soo freaking bored.. fuck this jessica simpson sucks and who ever likes her is just as bad .

Posted by: the fuck at August 7, 2005 12:28 AM

I really HATE Jessica Simpson. She is a talentless bimbo who is being pimped by her own father. Pathetic.

I do believe musicians/singers can be good actors. Sinatra was a certainly good actor. Mos Def may have been an actor before he became a musician (not sure), but he's very talented. Tim McGraw did an excellent job in "Friday Night Lights." I just saw the movie "Crash" and was very impressed with the job Ludacriss did as an actor. Who would've thought?

Still, I can't put Mark Wahlberg in that catagory. Yes, I do think he is a GOOD actor, but let's be real -- HE WAS A TRULY AWFUL RAPPER.

Posted by: Bandit at August 7, 2005 03:06 PM

How do I begin…First I liked her (this was in 1999) because of her wholesome virgin image. I thought, well not exactly a good singer but at least she’s got morals. Has anyone noticed that she screeches and she calls it singing? I loved that input someone wrote about her being rocking her head and looking like an epileptic (no offense to anyone who really is). Then she got all hypocritical as time as the years went by. This whole Christian image thing and dissing her blond rivals because of her lack of success for not taking off her clothes. Well, now that she is successful and she’s finally taken off most of her clothes. She even had the audacity to degrade women stripping as their profession and yet she appeared on the cover of maxim or fhm, boobs hanging out. The most offensive thing to me is that she uses God name to justify her being better than other people. Most people didn’t really know about her until she hit the big times (reality show). There was a time when she claimed that she lived for God...I’m not perfect but I don’t justify myself by being associated with God. Leave God out of all that is of Hollywood Mrs. Lachey!

Posted by: H.E at August 16, 2005 01:38 PM