January 13, 2005

Elektra Reviews

This one hurts folks... deep in my heart it hurts. Everyone around here knows of my fondness for Jennifer Garner, so while the trailers for Elektra haven't been any good, I've still been holding out hope that this DareDevil spin-off would be quality stuff.

The, the movie itself may not get released until tomorrow... but the reviews are already in... and my friends they are BAD. No, really really really bad. More than one critic has crowned Elektra this years Catwoman. Ouch... that hurts in the tender places. This is only the second or third time I can remember seeing a 0% rating on Rottentomatoes.com.

Well, let's get on with the pain. Here's what some of the critics are saying about Elektra:

"Scantily clad action heroine with a sexy-tough pout? Check. Supernatural bad-guy gang of tattooed, Goth-punk clowns? Check.... A half-hearted, prefabricated effort."
-- Rob Blackwelder, SPLICEDWIRE

"The movie doesn’t thrill like sticking one’s finger in a 110 volt socket - it’s more akin to the small, tingling sensation one gets when licking a 9 volt battery."
-- Stefan Halley, HERO REALM

"Devotees of awful filmmaking can't go wrong with this one."
-- Michael Wilmington, CHICAGO TRIBUNE

"Laughably bad...a tepid, torpid comic-book movie that could accurately be described as this year's 'Catwoman.'"
-- Frank Swietek, ONE GUY'S OPINION

So there you have it folks. I think I'll go tidy up the spare bedroom... I'm sure Jennifer will be over here shortly for some consoling.


Posted by John Campea at January 13, 2005 04:44 PM


Comments

i haven't even seen it yet and i wasn't even planning on it!!!

(^_^)

i would rather spend the money on a case of cheap whiskey and get alcohol poisoning than see this movie.

Posted by: jason at January 13, 2005 05:26 PM

Let's face it: Besides Spider-Man and X-Men, ALL the other movies based on Marvel heroes have SUCKED. (Blade recently went to crap too.) When you cut through the Hollywood box office hype, the entire present-day superhero phenomenon rests squarely on two men: Bryan Singer and Sam Raimi. That's it.

Chris Nolan could become the third this summer.

Posted by: Mark at January 13, 2005 05:43 PM

John, give it up, she looks like a dude...I mean come on My dad looks like more of a women...ok that was a little awkward...any way... yeah...

Xun

Posted by: Xun Shin at January 13, 2005 06:05 PM

So that's why you didn't post my review, John. You wanted it to not be true ;)

A very good point by Mark about who we have to thank for decent comic book films.

On the EPK, Garner says words to the effect of "Elektra's just come through the darkest part of her life, and that's where we pick up the story." So that there's an admission that no-one had the balls to make the film they should have done here.

How are we supposed to get involved with the redemption of a dark assassin's heart if the only guy we see her kill is a by-his-own-admission no-good criminal who was about to shoot Elektra if she didn't get him first? Did Rob Bowman not see Leon?

Posted by: Tom Whitaker at January 13, 2005 06:07 PM

Xun, if THAT woman looks like a man, then I'm going straight up gay.

Posted by: John Campea at January 13, 2005 06:10 PM

Perhaps they should rebrand this as an "Alias" movie, saying Sydney is going undercover as an assassin named Elektra.

Posted by: Franklin at January 13, 2005 06:40 PM

Remember that freaky and disturbing Aerosmith music video where they digitally pasted the heads of the band members onto obviously mismatched bodies? In one shot, Steven Tyler's head was pasted over a big-breasted female body wearing a bikini.

That's who Jen Garner looks like on that poster above for Elektra.

Posted by: Mark at January 13, 2005 06:44 PM

Ok, this is going on record John...and I will personally forget all of that if you can attempt to say my name on the next Audio edition...Bet you don't know how to pronounce it.

Posted by: Xun Shin at January 13, 2005 09:38 PM

I just don't see what you guys like...It's like...uhm yeah Maybe with a paper bag I would...Yeah with a paper bag, theres something about her mishaped head that is just disturbing me...:::Shrug::

Now Zhang Ziyi is hot (Alot hotter in person)

Posted by: Xun Shin at January 13, 2005 10:03 PM

Hey, it's not all bad news! Bob Townsend of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution gives it B-! Maybe it's not so lame... maybe...

Posted by: tom at January 13, 2005 11:48 PM

3% on Rotten Tomatoes?

EEEEEyyyyyyyyyyIIIIIKES!!!

Vic

Posted by: Screen Rant at January 14, 2005 01:43 AM

I bet you 100 bucks Aeon Flux will suck as well.

You can practically tell Electra sucks just by looking at the trailer. It looks like a bad Buffy or Charmed episode. They squeeky clean up all these female superhero heroines. Electra should be a saucy minx not a housewife, 13 going on superhero prissy queen. More Carmen Elecktra than Elektra Assasin....

Posted by: dave at January 14, 2005 05:43 AM

The duel with the flying bedsheets, scenic backdrops such as the fight by the lake, wuxia like ninjas---Hollywood's poor attempt on copying Zhang Yimou's "HERO".

Posted by: boothbrave at January 14, 2005 10:17 AM

I still don't know why Marvel even thought Elektra was a popular enough character to have her own movie. I don't know about now but her character had a very short lived monthly series. Marvel unfortunately doesn't have a female superhero that's the equivalent of DC's Wonder Woman.

Besides X-men 1 & 2 and Spidey 1 & 2, I'd add Hellboy to the list of good superhero movies. Hellboy wasn't great but it certainly wasn't bad. It had a cool look to it and that really cool villain with the blades. I found it kinda funny too. Funnier than Spidey 2 at times.

What have been the bad ones in the current era? Hulk, Daredevil, Punisher, Catwoman and now Elektra. They don't seem to terribly outnumber the aforementioned good ones.

Look at the ones that are coming out that sound exciting, Sin City and Batman Begins. Both of these look like they're on the right track. I really want to see Sin City.

There's plenty of exciting projects in the works like Superman, Fantastic Four, X-men 3, Spidey 3, Watchmen and a few other Marvel ones like Iron Man & Ghost Rider.

Posted by: shadopup at January 14, 2005 01:21 PM

Greetings from the UK...
Am seriously unhappy about the Elektra movie - as I posted on Aint It Cool - link here:

http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=19117

But Sin City will rock... oh yes!!

Posted by: Dark Matt at January 15, 2005 02:51 PM

This was one of the worst movies I've viewed and I am greatly disappointed. I can't believe I wasted my money on this ridiculous film.

Posted by: jenny at January 16, 2005 01:06 AM

Xun, you're ridiculous. Whatever. She doesn't look like a man.

Posted by: Cat at January 16, 2005 10:51 AM

As an avid comic book fan, and a fan of Daredevil and Elektra I have to say the movie was a good adaptation of the books,,unfotunately it didnt crossover well on to screen as many good books do. (ie The Punisher, The Hulk). The story and plot were taken from Elektra:Assasin, The Elktra Saga, and the actual Elektra comic book. The main problem is a movie of this depth should not have been made with a PG-13 rating.
To truly capture the character of Elektra takes a lot of grit and violence. Jennifer Garner did an excellent job portraying the character,,however the direction, choreography and screen play were weak. ANd yes,,The battle to the death with the laundry was pathetic. But bot Elektra and Daredevil were taken,,sometimes word for word from the comics,,which is why I enjoyed it and would truly recommned any to go and see it fopr themselves.

,,,and any idiot comparing this to Catwoman needs to cut it out!!! Nothing was as bad as Catwoman!!!

Posted by: dst1200 at January 17, 2005 02:16 PM

ok, jennifer garner is a sexy beast
so i have no idea how ne of u guys can say that she looks like a man
have ne of u SEEN ALIAS?
she is one sexy mothafucka
i know elektra blows
but who cares
catwoman blowed n halle berry is still halle berry
jennifer garner is a good actress who does NOT look liek a man
maybe u guys r juss intimidated by her muscles, (which do NOT make her look liek a dude)

Posted by: Hind at January 18, 2005 02:49 PM

hey dst1200, great review. elektra wasnt as bad as most reviews said. i do wish that they would make more of these comic films r rated. it would of made this one so much bettter.

Posted by: agreen_112 at January 19, 2005 12:35 PM

Anyone who says that Elektra looks like a man is a man with an itsy bittsy penis and severe feelings of inadequacy.
And by the way. I didn't see Spiderman 2 because Spiderman 1 sucked so bad. Daredevil was way better.

Posted by: lakeqi at January 20, 2005 08:05 PM

this movie sucked. it was a waste of time and money. the story line the wasnt original. it was predictable. it was retarded. i would rather shoot myself and drink cyanide and get electricuted than see this movie. it was pathetic.

Posted by: Julie at January 22, 2005 07:05 PM

That was the worst movie, the absolute worst movie i have ever seen. It was so bad, that at the end of the movie, i stood there in the aisle, fists clenched, my eyes rolls to the back of my head, i stuck my jaw out and then i screamed, "I hated it! I hated it! I absolutely hated that stupid movie! Give me back the two hours of my life i just gave you. Give it back!!"

Posted by: Theresa at January 22, 2005 09:55 PM

guys cut the film some slack. it was good. it had some great action scences, and bloody great sexy actress. It had a storyline, which is more than what can be said about most films. And although, admittedly it was not as good as either x-mens or spidermans, it was still worth watching, and still worth making. It was a very dark and deep film and Jennifer Garner managed to get that across greatly. I think we are lucky that we have got to the stage where comic book franchise is being put on the big screen. The hulk was shit, but we are still able to see it on the screen, and i'm sure there are some people out there that enjoyed it. Elektra isnt that bad at all, and i'd go and see it again. It was ten times better than some of the shit out today.

Posted by: scottie at January 23, 2005 06:22 PM

I just saw this movie and it was definetly better then it was reviewed. Could they have made it better? yes.

More action, intense drama and a little more rage and hate in Elektra's actions would have made this from good to great.

I personally think it was the director's fault and that he couldn't get a good visual of it and carry it on screen, even an amatuer could see it.

Same for Daredevil, just a little more of the above and it would have been awesome. The characters were well potrayed.

I think Brian Singer should have directed this.

Posted by: Sam at January 31, 2005 09:22 PM

We haven't seen Elektra yet but Jeremy and me, Charley,are going to see it on sunday night. We're really looking forward to it.

Posted by: Chazza and Jezza at February 7, 2005 05:16 AM

Whoa! Did you guys see the same movie as I did? I really liked it. There seems to be a feeding frenzy where it is cool to dump on a medium level movie. The production values were great. The laundry scene was a wince but overall it was pretty good. Better than most of those silly Chinese imports - face it, we have college film makers that have better production values in their movies than most of the four star Chinese flicks. Somebody floating through the air doesn't make it a good movie but as a group, we Americans wet our pants when we see it. I liked Elektra.

Posted by: Dan at April 21, 2005 08:09 PM