October 01, 2004
Hannibal Vs Predator
In the comments section of the last Hannibal Post I put up the other day, "Dave" gave us the next logical evolution for Hannibal... to join in on the movie sequel "vs" cash-in. His idea for the next big blockbuster? Hannibal Vs Predator!!! Oh yeah baby, I'd drop my $14 to get in on some of that screen action!
The movie would consist of 75 minutes of Anthony Hopkins playing with the Predator's head. making the Predator doubt himself... reliving painful memories of playing with other Predator children. Then Hannibal would talk about how much he's looking forward to using the Predator's green blood as a sauce for his fava bean stir fry. Then in the last 2 minutes of the film the Predator would just rip Hannibal's head off and do a funky dance around Hannibal's body to the music of the Will Smith soundtrack for the movie. Oh yeah... I can see it all now. But why stop there? You could have J-Lo in it too as the Predator's low-income ex-girlfriend who left him years ago to pursue her dreams of a music career. How about some other "vs" films?
Baby Geniuses vs. Aliens
Batman vs. Shrek
Spider-Man vs. Resident Evil Chick
Star Wars vs. The Kid from Home Alone
Ahh the list could go on and on (like this post). What would be some other good ones?
Posted by John Campea at October 1, 2004 07:38 AM
Comments
Posted by: Nala at October 1, 2004 09:57 AM
Take a look at what is showing on screen 3...
http://hiptopia.typepad.com/click/2004/08/alien_vs_benji.html
...Even money on Benji.
Posted by: david at October 1, 2004 12:13 PM
I enjoy this website, nice design easy to read, unlike the aicn blob factory.
But for crying out loud don't slag off the Timberlake fellow or this 50 cent humpoid dickweed when you put stupid posts up like Batman vs. Shrek or the other crap listed above. It will only be picked up by some empty headed skull at some studio and stuck in a powerpoint and before you know it this is the kinda film you'll get.
75% of this site is on the money, the discussion about ticket prices was quality.
Posted by: paul at October 1, 2004 01:00 PM
how about "Paul VS. Reality"?
who takes stuff on the interent seriously?
well...maybe some execs judging from some crap that come sout nowadays...
;)
Posted by: miles at October 1, 2004 01:10 PM
Ghandi vs The Last Temptation of Christ
or
The cube VS the sphere
Posted by: plutonick at October 1, 2004 02:21 PM
Well the thing that AVP did for me was ruin BOTH franchises.
And worst of all it actually made good money in it's opening week. What does that mean? yep, we're all stupid. And we're gonna get more of them! Studios will be desperate to throw together 2 flagging franchises just to make a quick buck.
So guess what - we are gonna be stuck with ten million crap Vs movies that will ruin the original concepts forever!
Forrest Gump vs. Rain Man
Annie Hall vs. Donnie Darko
Batman Vs Wicked Witch of the North
Superman Vs Doctor Evil
Hey, and look at TV. Talk about debased franchises. Look at crime series like CSI. I mean these are 'forensic' crime tv series, but all the women are dressed like they are going to nightclubs and they stand there pouting over dead corpses and microscopes. Very bizarre!! It's like Baywatch meets Seven.
"Game over, man!! Game over!!"
Posted by: dave at October 1, 2004 02:31 PM
Alien vs. Predator vs. Terminator vs. Robocop vs. The Matrix.
In the far-off future, SKYNET has evolved into the artificial intelligence behind THE MATRIX. SKYNET takes six Aliens and cybernetically modifies them, turning them into ALIEN-TERMINATORS, and sends them back in time to kill John Conner.
The human resistance strikes a deal with a trio of PREDATORS -- they send the PREDATORS back in time to hunt the ALIEN-TERMINATORS.
John Conner, played by WILL SMITH (Ya got a problem with that, Mr. Geek-Bigot? The timeline was fucked with in T3, remember.), has to fight off the ALIEN-TERMINATORS and deal with the PREDATORS who are not always looking out for his best interests, using his street smart survival skills and acerbic wit, while leading the early rag-tag team of the human resistance to fight SKYNET. John Conner's very first cyborg bodyguard, it turns out, is ROBOCOP. Sarah Michelle Gellar plays Conner's love interest.
Posted by: Mark at October 1, 2004 04:00 PM
Forgot to add:
A special homage will be featured when Conner and others have to enter Version 1.0 of THE MATRIX -- which turns out to be the world of TRON.
Posted by: Mark at October 1, 2004 04:03 PM
Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman's characters from "Seven" verses Hannibal.
Posted by: HollywoodProducerAsshole at October 1, 2004 04:09 PM
I say we go old school and have Our Gang go up against the Lolipop Guild.
Speaking of going old school: Another would be the frat from "Old School" versus the Deltas of "Animal House." Frank the Tank and Bluto in a cage match.
Posted by: David at October 2, 2004 09:07 AM
what about
Donnie Brasco vs Donnie Darko?
Posted by: PlutoNick at October 2, 2004 10:50 AM
Lethal Weapon 5 vs. The Fresh Prince of Belair
Bill Cosby vs. Hannibal
or
Blade vs. Van Helsing
Posted by: Simon at October 3, 2004 11:00 AM
A really obvious one..
Terminator vs Rambo
Posted by: jasmine at October 4, 2004 12:43 PM
the terminator vs james bond vs robo-hitler the reserected cyborg super nazi
Posted by: harry at January 23, 2005 03:02 PM
i think there should be: austin powers vs ewoks in starwars backgrong. i mean like 75 ewoks vs one austin powers that would be so bad asse.
Posted by: nichole at May 3, 2005 04:50 PM
i think it should be god against jesus that would have to be the biggest world battle ever
or hades vs gorgoe bush
Posted by: sexyfuckingkitten at May 4, 2005 04:33 PM
I think that god,buddah and spongebob should duke it out
Posted by: jenga fett at May 4, 2005 04:36 PM
every person on the planet vs everyone else its every man for himself!
Posted by: bcgcvnhhvb at October 25, 2005 05:38 AM
Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo vs. Lambada: The Forbidden Dance
True... the list is indeed endless.