April 14, 2004
The Punisher is Being Dealt Scathing Reviews
Well, I wasn't expecting anything this bad, but apparently, the new Punisher film is really terrible enough to invoke random cutting of one's self. The two reviews I'm referring to so far are on Ainitcool.com and really need to be read to grasp the scope of hatred for this movie.
- Review #1 - Harry Knowles
- Review #2 - Pyul MacTackle
Here's just a few beauty quotes... Ready?
--"This flick had all the technique of a sculptor wearing oven mitts…" - HarryWell, how about that, maybe I'll be waiting until it plays heavily edited for time and content on a Pan& Scan TBS broadcast. That might be wise...
--"if you think that there is no way on planet earth that you can think fondly about the old Cannon Films version… then go check this unflushable turd out. " - Harry
--"The Punisher is ass, sheer, raw B-grade movie ass, upon which festering pimples threaten to burst at any moment." - Pyul
--"You'll actually want to be anywhere but in a theatre showing this mindless drek, because this movie fails to entertain on every level. It is, Hands down, the worst theatrically distributed film I've seen this year." - Pyul
And Best Quote So Far:
--"Honestly, this is what happens when you cross Death Wish with 2 Fast 2 Furious while cranking up the butt rock on your brother's Camero." - Pyul
Posted by John Campea at April 14, 2004 03:06 AM
Comments
Posted by: Bubba at April 14, 2004 05:29 AM
This is really too bad. I thought we were going to redeem ourselves from the Dolph Lungdgren [sp?] Lou Gosset Jr. days.
And things were looking so up after those wretched stills and teaser trailer were followed up by a half decent full trailer.
Then again, I did see Michael Ironside in it.
Shudder.
Posted by: KungFuGuy at April 14, 2004 04:41 PM
On top of this I just heard something from a kid from my youth who was at an advanced screening the other day.
There was a HERO trailer. No dialogue. Just action shots. No mention of Zhang or Donnie. Just Jet.
Crap. Will search for this online now since there is no way on God's good green earth I am seeing this load of tripe. No trailer on the Miram-AXE site.
Posted by: KungFuGuy at April 16, 2004 12:14 AM
Talk about dorks. These guys know nothing. They just want to be known as giving out "scathing reviews." Three words, get a job. Thank you.
Posted by: Dustin at April 17, 2004 12:30 AM
Well actually, it's not just these guys...
In fact I've only read one review of the punisher that WASN'T negative. - Even then , it wasn't that positive either.
The Punisher is taking quite a beating in the reviews nearly all across the board.
And as far as jobs go, if someone offered you a [REALLY good paying] job to watch movies and talk about 'em afterwards. -- You'd talk it in a FLASH. And so would I. Don't be mad cuz they did.
Posted by: Day-vuhl at April 17, 2004 04:29 AM
According to Rotten Tomatoes it's gotten an average review of 4.5 out of 10. Metacritic has it at 30 / 100. Those are both compiled averages of a bunch of national reviews (these sites are about the quickest way around to find out what the general concensus on a film is, btw) and they match the opinions of the reviewers here in town. AICN reviews tend to be polarized along the lines of 'amazing' and 'sucks donkeys' but if there's one thing you can say about them it's that they love their comic book films over there and they really want them to be good, so chances are if AICN rips on one it's pretty bad ...
Posted by: Bubba at April 17, 2004 07:22 AM
They've added a bunch more reviews over at aicn. Universally negative. Very negative.