Synopsis

A family vacation takes a terrifying turn when parents Paul and Wendy discover their young daughter has vanished without a trace. Stopping at nothing to find her, the search for the truth leads to a shocking revelation in this psychological thriller.

The Good

Nothing. Not one damn thing.

Okay. The bathing beauty’s bikini bod scene by the lake.

And even that is being charitable.

The Bad

Oh, here we go…

Seems as though mental illness as entertainment is the current rage in the motion picture biz.

Reprehensible.

Which brings us now to this vapid psychological crime thriller “The Vanished”. A husband and wife (Thomas Jane and Anne Heche), completely dislodged from reality, are often characterized as almost cutesy as they struggle to sustain in the clutches of soul shattering loss and grief.

You will likely decipher, as I did, this plot device long before it is revealed in this obnoxiously over-long labor in repetition and ridiculousness.

Dead-end Dud-Ass Leads

Anne Heche’s star was once bright and promising. Particularity peculiar personal problems paired with picking piss-poorly professionally have long since cratered a career that coulda been.

Thomas Jane never fails to perform at less than impressive levels. His role here registers as much mystifyingly monotonic as it is unequivocally unengaging. As per usual with this talent-starved stiff who remains unwavering in his commitment to summon the acting depth of fat-free vanilla custard.

And let not Writer/Director Peter Facinelli go unscathed…

for his overarching responsibility in this rot of repugnance. Ever actually talked with a mom and dad who’ve lost their collective lives yet still breathe of our atmosphere? Like the doleful couple you foist on us in your feeble-brained flick.

Your perfunctory diagnostic throw-in near the end notwithstanding, I’m goin’ with no.

Overall

So way to be, Pete.

Unlike those spirit gutted parents who have, are, and will live this numbing yet tortuous nightmare every moment of every day…

sleep well.

Ya contemptuous prick.

I cordially invite you to enjoy all of my entertaining and eclectic film reviews, continually updated, as “The Quick Flick Critic” at:

https://thequickflickcritic.blogspot.com/

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