The Cobblestone Corridor, a short film written, directed and starred in by Erik C. Bloomquist, is a neo-noir about a newspaperman doubling as detective to uncover the truth behind the ousting of a popular teacher at his preparatory school. Bloomquist plays Allen Archer, the editor-in-chief and lead journalist for the Pierce Gazette, the school paper at Alfred Pierce Preparatory School, a breeding ground for preppies and elitist offspring who Archer openly despises. Where he lands on the economic scale is left out of the discussion, but one must assume, if he is rich, that he hates himself for it.

Archer is headstrong, quick witted, motor mouthed and unafraid. He embodies many of the qualities of the noir anti-heroes of the past—men likely played by Humphrey Bogart. The character names could’ve been uttered in any number of hardboiled crime dramas. Elizabeth “Lizzy” Merryweather, Brock Larson and Logan Underwood are just some of the gems Bloomquist pens. And yet Bloomquist’s mile-a-minute thriller is more an ode to the newspaperman and the waning value of the newspaper business. A classroom scene of sharp jabs between Archer and a classmate who supports the end of print media reveals the filmmaker’s romantic view of the purity of the newspaper game. If this film has anything going for it, it’s enthusiasm both as a movie and as a modern bastion of the gritty pages of the Times’, Post’s, and Gazette’s.

Good energy is all that keeps The Cobblestone Corridor from being a fawning, sappy copycat of film noir. The actors appear to be so focused on remembering their punchy witticisms they forget to act anything but constipated. The aforementioned “Lizzy” Mayweather (Madeleine Dauer) waltzes into Archer’s office, bringing him the case in the sultry way of many previous women of noir, but without the purpose and murderousness that made them integral to the plot.

The shadow play of film noir is here a dull gray pall hanging over the badly lit hallways of a prep school. Little is done stylistically to recall the work of John Alton or Gregg Toland. And this is not at all about trying to be as good as Citizen Kane (on which Toland worked) or any of Alton’s work. It is about challenging oneself to capture the true spirit of what is being aspired to. It is about being inspired, not being a fanboy. Too much of The Cobblestone Corridor feels like a school play—bad no matter how good it is.

I Give The Cobblestone Corridor 4 out of 10