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June 23, 2012
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Ryan’s Rant: Talking in the Theater…Shut the F*CK UP!
— Posted by Ryan
Now I may be a short tempered individual but I’m not alone. I am pretty sure that there are many more people like me rather than the non-confrontational, calm and collected individuals. Chances are, if you are someone who likes to excessively talk during a movie, you are probably surrounded by a group of people that came to the theater for a couple hours of stress relief and quiet who could snap at any moment. With that being said, talking in the movie theater could be more dangerous than you think. If you do a search for violence and death related to talkative movie-goers, you would be surprised at how many results would turn up. So for your own personal safety and for the safety of others, I suggest you just shut the f*ck up!
Here are a few added tips/suggestions for you talkative movie-goers:
1. If you have to have continuous conversation in a movie theater then you are wasting your own money. I suggest you wait until the film is available to rent so that you can pause the film as needed and save a few bucks.
2. As important as you may think your commentary may be during the film, it’s not. You had nothing to do with the film nor any credentials that would make your commentary of any value. To have any sort of valuable insight you would have to be fully engaged in the film…which you are obviously not.
3. If the film is not interesting enough for you to follow then you should keep quiet and wait for it to get better or leave. You are wasting your own time if you’ve already decided you do not like the film and time is money.
4. If you have to check your cell phone constantly then you are an addict and you need help. I know you feed off the urge to update your Facebook or Twitter status in hopes that someone will care but honestly…they don’t. The only one that does care is you, the person who is checking every minute to see if someone has commented. If you can’t step away to enjoy a movie for a few hours then movies just aren’t for you.
5. Die in a fire…we all hate you. |
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I definitely share the same sentiments. The hardest (recent) experience for me was at The Lorax. At a children's movie, I expect more noise, talking, etc. and I'm okay with that. When parents/siblings/whoever else starts yammering on to a friend, however, I get upset. For me, though, it's a fine line of whether me addressing the situation will be more of an interruption/annoyance to the rest of the audience than the person's talking. Generally, I end up giving the person an ultimatum in my mind, and usually they don't cross it.
I’m going to assume that writing this post was a stress reliever for you. Because if you wrote this post to address the intended audience of individuals who talk in theatres, then I’m doubting any of them are listening. They have a complete disregard for others around them, so I sincerely doubt that the “rage” of a Movie Blog poster is going to change that. A more apt post would be suggestions for movie goers who find themselves in the same unfortunate situation you were in. Any time we venture out in public and decide to view something in a public forum we unfortunately run the risk that we will sit next to obnoxious people whether this is at a restaurant, movie theatre, or a public park
@gkwilley I thought it was pretty obvious that I'm not trying to change the world with a post...haha. This post was meant for fun, hence the Taken speech parody at the beginning. It was a vent with a light-hearted tone intended for those who have experienced a similar situation. I also don't actually hope people die in a fire...in case you were taking that literally as well.
Agreed. Same thing goes for wise-asses who have to yell attempted jokes and one-liners throughout a movie and even during the previews.
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@themichaelstern YES!