The Movie Blog

DVD Review: Heist

By Rodney - February 7, 2010 - 00:12 America/Montreal

Thanks for checking out our Heist review.

Genre: Crime Drama
Directed by: Richard Cooper, Rick Jordan
Staring: Rick Jordan, Christian Mendez, Erik David
Released: Febuary 9th, 2010

THE GENERAL IDEA

Erik and David stare down the barrel of a gun, held by a Columbian drug kingpin named Luis. He’s also their boss. When David is caught dealing on the side, the friends are given an ultimatum: pay their debt or be killed. With his life spiraling out of control, Erik must turn to his older brother, K, the leader of LA’s most brutal gang of thieves.

His next big job- the heist of an armored truck-still months away, K chooses to move up the plans to save his kid brother. With the clock ticking, K is forced to push ahead with a crew of dangerous and unpredictable outlaws. The heist goes remarkably smooth, but what started as a clean operation quickly start to unravel. As tempers boil over and the body count begins to rise, K must fight to protect Erik from the trigger-happy maniacs who will do anything for a buck. Will Erik survive long enough to pay off his debt and save his life? No one is safe, and only on this is certain… When the money’s dirty, no one gets out clean.

THE GOOD

The Girlfriend, while completely useless and of no value to the film, did have some nice legs. That’s all I got.

THE BAD

Ok, sometimes there is a such thing as a movie so bad that its good. Vanilla Ice in Cool as Ice is among them. But seriously, it is possible for a movie to be so bad that its bad.

I wont even go into the low production qualities. That is the least of the problems here. The acting? Terrible. The lead, Rick Jordan is also the director and executive producer and is among the worst in this film. How he can be put in a position to direct this movie and that it got a green light is beyond me.

Plot? yeah, that synopsis above is the “official release” information. Luis is a Columbian drug cartel head? News to me. It was obvious that he was some sort of criminal “boss” but damned if I had any clue what kind he was, or what crimes he commited. And K repeatedly says “You know I work alone” but is a gang leader? Yes. An armoured car gets jacked in broad daylight and for about 3 minutes of the film we see some action. That part happens.

Oh, and K has a girlfriend (remember above? I like her legs) and there is an obligatory sex scene with her - ut then they fight and she gets thrown out a second story window to stand up and brush it off like she stumbled. Its revealed that earlier during the heist she was the one taking pictures to blackmail them into giving her a share of the loot and she drops the photos (which no one acknowledges) and goes home expecting her cut. Um… what?

Oh and an old lady gets run down during the getaway. No reason. Never comes up again.

OVERALL

I have always been of the stance that you have no right to an opinion of a film until you have watched the whole film. Which I have. And it was terrible. No redeeming qualities (aside from a nice pair of legs) and a vague plot covered up with a whole lot more of pointless interactions and subplots that never resolve.

So when you are renting movies this week, and nothing you want to see is available, and you see this appealing cover with a hot girl on it, remember if it says HEIST on it.. don’t. That picture? Not even in the film. Not even sure that’s the same girl. Just don’t.

Not even on a dare.

I give Heist a 1 out of 10