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Halloween 2 Review
» Review
Halloween 2 Review
Against my better judgement I went out to see the new “Halloween 2″. Granted, I didn’t think the first one was any good, and no I haven’t enjoyed any film by Rob Zombie at this point (even though my iPod is filled with his music)… but I thought “just maybe”. Perhaps it wouldn’t be as bad as I feared it would be. After all… G.I. Joe didn’t end up being half as bad as I thought it would be… maybe there would be something redeemable about Halloween 2. It’s possible right?
Let me make this perfectly clear and put it in the most direct way I can. To call “Halloween 2″ I giant shitfest would be far too kind. I’ve never seen a “horror” movie so bland, so predictable, so boring and so ridiculous in my life. This is the worst film I’ve seen since “Catwoman” and now ranks as the 4th worst film I’ve ever had to sit through in my life (Just behind Battlefield Earth, Catwoman and The Highlander II).
THE GENERAL IDEA
It sucks so bad I don’t want to bother.
THE GOOD
You’re kidding right? Good?!?! There was absolutely nothing redeemable about this nuclear cluster fuck of a movie.
THE BAD
I honestly don’t know where to start. The fact of the matter is everything about this movie sucks on an epic scale and to point out any individual “bad” aspects seems redundant. I’m not a film critic, so I’m not sure I’m obligated to be forced to think about this movie any more than I already have.
I love Weird Al passionately… but dude… when his 2 minute cameo is the best thing about you’re movie, you’re in trouble.
Worst…. acting… ever.
I’m sorry… was I, at any point, supposed to be scared?
Did they write this movie on a napkin the morning production started?
I mean… if Zombie was going for: “Let’s make a movie that is totally predictable… lacks any scares or suspense… sacrifices all thoughts of common sense… have the lead girl squeal and scream all her dialog and put in the most ass raping nonsensical ending”… then yeah, mission accomplished.
I don’t want to talk about this movie anymore. I don’t want to think about this movie any more. I will never mention this movie again. I could have spent my Saturday afternoon napping… it would have been far more productive. I don’t know you Rob Zombie. We’ve only met briefly and you seem like nice enough of a guy and you make some kick ass music… but right now I hate you a little bit.
OVERALL
As far as a “score” goes… well… I’ve never done this before, but it must be done. Overall I give “Halloween 2″ a -2 out of 10. Yes… a -2. Damn I’m SOOO mad right now that my Saturday afternoon was so utterly wasted. Fuck this movie.
“It sucks so bad I don’t want to bother.”
LOL.
“You’re kidding right? Good?!?! There was absolutely nothing redeemable about this nuclear cluster fuck of a movie.”
LMAO.
So, How do you feel about him remaking “The Blob”?
I think that’s bogus. Wasn’t this the same man who used to be adamantly against remakes?? Now, he’ll add a second to his resume! The guy’s a joke.
Yep Zombie is a hypocrite. He said its “pathetic” for directors to remake films. Now hes made two(I count this film), and now three.
Wow John do think that maybe you should sit this review for one more night. Come back Sunday or Monday and maybe rethink the -2.
Rethink it? We all know how forgiving John is with his ratings he gave G.I.JOE a positive review, right? HE GAVE THIS MOVIE A -2 OUT OF 10 AND SAID IT WAS THE 4TH WORST MOVIE HE’S EVER SEEN! I THINK HIS MIND IS MADE UP!
I need to see a video review. I want to see that anger on cam. :P
I was just thinking the same exact thing!
I think he’d hate himself just a little bit more if he dedicated any more time to this movie, you saw how short this “review” was.
John i’m postive that final destination in 3D is better than this at least you will have a good laugh watching that i can’t believe you watched H2 instead of FD4…anyways i hope you feel better lol
In general I have never understood scary movies. Its not that they scare me or anything, I just think they are always lame, play on gross items to make you say ehhh or something, and usually full of corny actors. However, a movie like the orphanage is well done and creative imignary tale.
Horror films to me aren’t scary at all. The last film I saw that gave me chills was “Cloverfield”, and that isn’t even a horror film. The last decent horror film I saw was “A Nightmare on Elm Street”.
I find that most horror movies in general just suck. It’s been made worse nowadays when the only scares are through shock tactics and gore.
Ditto.
i thought the ring (the american one) was one of the best horror flicks ive seen in a while..1408 was also good, ive never, ever been a fan of slasher flicks tho
Agreed, however some classics where undeniably awesome simply becuase of the novelty and originality of their stories, however now we have movies like this where its literally a sequel to a remake -_-
I’m glad I have never seen any of these movies past the first few halloweens as it could seriously kill the series for me!
“Agreed, however some classics where undeniably awesome simply becuase of the novelty and originality of their stories”
I agree. A lot of horror movie classics are at least good because within the context of their time they were original and actually, you know, scary.
fuck modern day excuses for horror movies - all just worthless crap that just copies itself over and over again
sit at home and watch Army of Darkness if you have to watch a real horror movie
Nah, the Evil Dead series is way too funny and entertaining to be scary.
HAHAH I love reading posts filled with anger from John lolol
So sorry, John. Why did you go see it? Just watch D9 or Inglorious Basterds again
The best angry review…the best REVIEW PERIOD….ACTUALLY…the best post from this site EVER
Was Doug Nagys angry Meet The Spartans review
Fucking god. I still laugh at it.
Wow I guess Transformers 2 is looking pretty good to John right now. LOL
Seems the people in the horror community is enjoying it. Bloody-Disgusting gave it a 3/5, and they loathed the first one about as much as John loathes this one.
i dont have a trailer park near me thats showing h2. :/
LOL!
I haven’t seen the film yet, but I’m pretty sure I heard the majority of dialog. Knowing Zombie’s films drops the f bomb every seven seconds, and focusing mostly on brutality instead of suspense, I wonder why…
John didn’t go see the Ang Lee ‘Woodstock’ flick instead.
But one thing I do know. He cannot hate John Carpenter’s original any more.
Or can he?
best… review… EVER
The reality that this movie actually exists is scarier than the movie itself.
I might see H2 tonight (I know, but it’s possible I might like it). I saw The Final Destination earlier, better than I thought it would be- 5/10.
So you have officially upgraded your rating system to a 13 point scale. -2 to 10
I wasn’t going to see the movie. I guess this review will help me be more emphatic when I warn friends that were also not going to see it that they should not see it.
Hey John…
Do you live in Montreal?
I think he lives in Hamilton and LA
John, I’m guessing you should’ve waited one extra day to put up your “Summer of Suck” list.
This isn’t even good enough to be mentioned on that list
If he replaced Land of the Lost with H2 for “Worst Film of the Summer”
I think it would be funnier if it was video, but o well.
Wait so not even Weird Al’s cameo is considered a good thing? And it’s the best part.
Ouch!
John and friend’s, when will you open your FUCKING eye’s and see that Rob Zombie is one of only a few Film-Maker’s doing what he want’s! H2 rule’s 9.2 out of 10.
Sure… if “doing what he wants” means doing total shit. Then yeah… good for him.
Sure he gets to do what he wants but that doesn’t mean it’s good.
What if Rob Zombie wanted to shit on your face, would that “rule”.
But honestly I haven’t seen this film so I can’t exactly comment on the quality of how good the film is it just seems like most people don’t like it.
I respect your uncommon positive opinion of this film but I don’t respect the fact that you’re insulting the people who have a negative opinion (which by the way is alot of people).
after seeing house of 1000 corpses and the devils rejects i swore to never, ever watch anything made by that man
sounds like the same way i felt about the crapfest “THEY”.
It was horrible, I was discusted! Loved part one but this shit was TRASH! Total other character not Michael…. When have you ever heard him grunting or making any sound when killing some one? When have you ever seen Michael not Jason ever cut off someones head? Don’t you just hate movies when they change a main character with another actor, then keep showing them? Don’t bother seeing it shit was horrible
When have you ever seen Michael not Jason ever cut off someones head?
In Halloween Ressurection
Kate Sackhoff, no less.
We We’re Obviously Watching Different Movies. I LOVED the first one and thought the 2nd was great to
Sounds terrible, Zombie should of made his no mean NO! when it came to doing a sequel. His brand of horror is more fit for the Saw franchise, they should let him direct the next 10 or 20. :-P
Saw franchise? I can’t seem him doing Saw at all
I have one question and one question only. I don’t care if it’s spoiled.
Didn’t Loomis die in the first film? How the hell is he still alive?
This movie is and will always be SHIT so spoil away.
This movie doesn’t even have a consensus on RottenTomatoes yet because not enough critics have even gone to see this movie….and they’d get paid to see it!
Is it worst than troll 2 ? TROLL 2 !!!!!!!!!!!!
Troll 2 is fantastic and entertaining. don’t hate!
And yet it will make back its money in a single weekend and the circle of life continues.
I actually really liked it. I really liked the first one too. I’ll be picking up the BluRay was soon as it comes out, personally. I’d give it an 8/10, knocking a couple points for some shaky cam use and a couple odd plot holes, but as a whole, very enjoyable.
“I’m not a film critic”
And thats 89% of the reason I come have been coming to TMB for the past few years!
You basically say the same thing critics are saying most of the time however your not retricted in how you say it, like this review for example! It was pure awesomeness in sincerity!
That has to be one of the best reviews you have ever written John, and for that 19% who gave the film a positive review, on Rotten, they must be brain dead.
I gave the film ZERO stars. It is just AWFUL. I really believe that Dimension films should issue an apology for this utter garbage from the mind of a mentally ill human being in Rob Zombie. Im sorry but this film is so vile you can’t release it on 3100 screens. This is NOT Halloween. If Zombie wants to do his thing FINE, but don’t call it Halloween because it is not. Haddonfield is not a small town filled with Redneck hillbillies, Michael Myers is not a giant Hobo and Dr. Loomis is not an opportunist book writer. Don’t even get me started on Laurie Strode. Scout Taylor Compton is an AWFUL actress. Just awful.
This movie pissed me off more than any film Ive seen in a long time. I can’t believe the Weinstein company could back this sick vision. NO MORE ROB ZOMBIE doing franchise properties. Sickening that he will do a BLOB remake.
chuck
Now i want to see it to see how much it sucks.
I just don’t understand why anyone has to do a remake of a great movie, when it’s some much better to watch the original? I grow up on movies like halloween, Friday the 13th, and all the others, and that franchise ended years ago. This new stuff is just LAME. And now, the weird part: John I must hate you for this review! It’s so funny and emotional, that I have to see for myself how bad the movie is ;) and btw, Rob does some good music!
u are very right…i went and seen it lastnight and i really wish i wouldnt have…it sucked sooooo bad….sooo predictable…they could have made that movie better!!
I don’t understand why people waste money on something they know will suck or has a bad director attached to it or totally dead franchise.
Final destination movie would have been better to watch. Atleast it gives you cool kills in 3D!
CATWOMAN IS WAY BETTER THAN HALLOWEEN 2 ROB ZOMBIE IS MESSING THE HALLOWEEN FRANCHISE UP THEY SHOULD HAVE GOT A BETTER DIRECTOR!!!!!!
Is it wrong that this is the first thing that has made me at all interested in seeing this movie, just to see how bad it actually is?
well you did say the first one sucks where as I love the first one, so i won’t take your critic on this sequel !
weinsteins announce 2010- halloween 3D.
A friend told me about this. And he says Rob Zombie is not involved. There’s already a director in talks. Not sure if I want to take hte news for what it is, but just sayin.
I agree, this movie not only sucked, but it sucked MEGA KONG DONG. Halloween 3D, you’ve got to be kidding, how can Rob Zombie not be run out of town for making such a POS?
“Most boring?” You clearly have not seen the remake of Prom Night. That was the biggest pile of shit I’ve ever seen.
I’ve said it many times, Halloween should have never been remade in the first place. I didn’t see the remake of the first and I’m not seeing this one either.
Entertaining review. Most people either seem to like Rob Zombie’s movies or hate them with a passion. I liked Halloween 2 much more than the 1st remake. The third best film I’ve seen this summer 9/10.
At least The Devils Rejects is good.
I saw Inglorious Basterds instead. I’ve never laughed so much at a violent act since American Psycho, and I mean that in a good way.
I saw it today. It was mediocre. I wouldn’t say it’s the most awful movie. I agree with the changing of the scenery, I don’t understand why zombie turned haddonfield into a trailer park explosion. Loomis’ character was turned into someone you hate as opposed to the shining light of the original franchise. It was entertaining, but not something great. I still love Devil’s Rejects though.
I’m sorry you were forced to sit through this.
So am I to understand that you didn’t like this movie?
Halloween III: Season of the Witch was a masterpiece compared to this garbage.
Lol, thats fing hilarious!
I remember when I first heard of that movie, I was like wtf? really?
Then I watched a youtube clip and used it for the basis of a 5 page film paper in one of my college classes! It was awesome!
Got an A on paper based on a movie I never saw (except 5 min YT clip) and that movie was Season of the witch, my friends where laughing their asses off!
Okay, I can understand hating a film and giving it a harsh review because of that, but this has officially put me off of all John’s reviews. The past few reviews of his I decided to check out have seemed really off base, but this can’t even be called a review. Jesus, this makes it seem like Rob Zombie punched John’s mom and then pissed on her face or something. It’s only a movie, dude. It’s only a movie…
And it wasted hours of his life that he will never get back.
God forbid he wastes a few hours of his entire life. I know I’ve never done anything like that, you know, like just sitting around watching tv or surfing the web. No, I’m always doing something worthwile and productive, every minute of every day.
You and 1.9% of the population.
he shouldn’t have seen it the first place
but, after having seen it, this was a totally natural reaction
All that I can say is I was trying desperately to find even ONE thing that I liked about this movie, but there is nothing here for Halloween series fans, original Halloween II fans, Rob Zombie fans, or slasher movie fans. This film was a total “You hated my last one, well eat this suckers” from Zombie. What a disgusting, pointless, non-entertaining piece of garbage. I love the Halloweens, when I heard Zombie was remking the original I couldn’t wait to see it, then was disappointed. I saw this hoping to see a loose remake of the 1981 Halloween II, or at least something a little clever that was new if that’s what Zombie was going for. Instead I feel like he held me at knifepoint for the price of admission. Even Halloween 6 was a better picture, fans of the series know what that means! The music was horrible (no recognizable themes until the final two minutes), the characters all did a complete 180, Michael was portrayed almost as a member of the Leatherface wannabe fan club, and the ending made NO sense. SPOILER ALERT (Don’t read if you don’t want the “plot” spoiled), after taking numerous close range direct gunshots, Michael is finally shot again by police snipers, then eventually dies by being impaled on sharp farm equipment. If the police hit him, why don’t they storm the shack? And why is this farm stuff so fatal? And what’s with the stupid white horse, does Zombie have endorsements from Columbia Tristar or something? The whole movie should have stayed on the editing room floor. Thank you
I really liked the first half of his first Halloween so I gave this one a chance. I liked a lot of it. A few parts kind of went off the deep end. But overall it was good. Maybe I think that way because I am a fan of Rob Zombie’s movies.
When I saw previews for Rob Zombies Halloween 2 movie I must say I had my doubts. The preview looked liked something out of a sideshow of freaks and weirdos hopped up on cocaine, acid, pot, marijuana, alcohol, pepsi products and licorice. I thought for sure that when I actually saw the movie that all my concerns would be put to rest. I can honestly say that was the worst mistake I’ve ever made. The movie proved that everyone involved in the making of this film was indeed hopped up on cocaine, acid, pot, marijuana, alcohol, pepsi products and licorice. Rob Zombie took what was a great series of horror movies and turned into a freak show for people with three eyes, women with long beards, and toothless men who drink gasoline because they think it will fuel the fire that burns inside them. He has single handedly taken what was a simple idea of a blank without conscious nightmare who stalked the babysitter and destroyed it by adding visions of mommy holding the strap of a white horse as she walked around in the wild forrests of Illinois. This is no doubt what Rob Zombie was doing when he thought of making this film, the only difference is that he wasnt walking with a white horse rather taking a drug called white horse which no doubt induces psychodelic hallucinations and fuels ideas to make moving pictures of himself dressed up in a torn ragged hoodie wandering around aimlessly with a satchel on his back looking for dogs to eat or passer bys to stab a hundred times. The movie has no direction whatsoever. The character of Michael Myers is supposedly haunted by visions of his dead also on drugs mother who coincidentally in real life is Rob Zombies wife. The visions follow him around the vast forrest of Illinois which never seem to end. He does this for about a year or so, we have no idea why he has been wandering around the forrest, which leads me to conclude that he was doing so to try and find the best shrooms to eat so he could hallucinate and not think about what a terrible movie he is in. Every character in this film is worthless. The script sounds as if it was written by a pissed off high schooler whos only vocabulary is fuck and party. My only hope is that the original makers of the initial Halloween series do not need emergency surgery to remove the fucked up ideas and Rob Zombie as implanted in their minds. Do not see this movie, save the $7-10 ticket price for a whopper meal at Burger King or a three pack of socks at a local store because I gaurantee you that they will bring you more pleasure than watching a series of moving pictures that have been morphed into nothing more that another poster for the well known line “This is your brain….This is your brain on drugs…”
Halloween 2 sucked?
Wow.
I mean, I just would never have guessed this based on the trailer or on Rob Zombie’s other total fucking bilge.
LOL this is like this years best post they should relly make a film out off it. It must be better than H2 ?
Hehe great review John!! Can we get a video review too??
Are you going to review Final Destination 4?
i think you should since it’s the number 1 movie for the weekend.