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John’s Criminal Mom Says Wolverine Is Really Good - So There You Go

By John - April 21, 2009 - 11:33 America/Montreal

I am 100% against movie piracy. I hate the methods the MPAA uses to enforce anti-piracy practices, but that doesn’t mean that I think piracy is ok. Not in the least. It’s theft plain and simple. So imagine my surprise when I’m talking to my own mother the other day and she says this to me:

MOM: “John, you know what movie I just saw that I really liked”?

JOHN: “Which one”?

MOM: “Wolverine”

JOHN: “WHAT?!?!?! Mom did you download an illegal copy of a movie”?

MOM: “No. How do I do that”?

JOHN: “MOM!?!?!?!”

MOM: “No, my friend had a copy and lent it to me. It’s really good”

Needless to say I immediately called the authorities to narc out my mom about her illegal actions, but then changed my mind when I remembered she was making veal cutlets for dinner… and I love veal cutlets and don’t want anything interfering with her dinner preparations.

So there you have it folks. Wolverine is really good. Thus saith the mom of John.

» 35 Comments

  1. AARON says:

    Wow, she saw it? Hmm, I am against movie piracy too, I didn’t see it illegally, but I’m sorry to say I have to disagree with your mom, I gave it a 6/10

    • bigsampson says:

      6/10 is what i gave it too…thats even with me taking in the consideration of the quality it was…they could possibly take it to a 7 with the unseen added stuff…but nothing SO AMAZING I SHIT MY PANTS OVER at all

  2. Royal says:

    John’s Post: 8/10
    John’s Mom: 10/10 (yeah, you knows it!)
    Wolverine Movie: 8/10

  3. Rob says:

    Yo, your mom is gonna go to jail…..and get raped….. with the claws of wolverine….

    ……unless I get some veal cutlets as well….

  4. 3R!C says:

    “no, what’s that?”

    haha! too funny!

  5. Gutpunch says:

    Wow Rob so nice of you to say that John’s mom is going to get raped.
    There are slightly classier ways of telling that joke without mentioning prison rape to a middle aged woman.

  6. g8tor says:

    that’s a funny story. if it was my mom, she would be paranoid that the fbi would be after her. gotta love senior citizens.

  7. HAZMAT says:

    LMAO xD

    That convo sounds funny as hell John

    Dmn your moms cool, I wish my old grandparents were as cool… (im like 18)

    I hate it when this happens, when I went to see State of Play i noticed that the theatre was full of old people…and I was like “DAMNIT! This movies going to be boring as shit” (it turned out to be perfect) but when the wolverine trailer came out they all groaned lol..including MY parents

    I dont know, i guess its cool to have a mom that likes wolverine

    (BTW Im not calling your mom old or anything…its just that my parents are very old in the inside)

  8. Kristina says:

    Aww.

    You look like her:)

    • Kristina says:

      And your mom has much better taste than mine. I was telling her how good 24 is this season and she goes, “If you like action stuff, you should watch Hitman. It was on HBO the other night and I watched it and it was really good!”

      HITMAN. REALLY GOOD.

      Jeez, Mom:)

    • HAZMAT says:

      My parents watch 24 so much that that little bomb ticking noise they use every time a scene changes is permanently stuck in my head

      And my parents liked Batman Forever (as did i, when i was FIVE)

    • 46and2 says:

      WOW John does look exactly like his mom. I think that pic is just John with glasses and a wig and this story is FAKE!!! I mean, who would rat out their mom???

  9. The Dude says:

    Classic.

  10. Kevin says:

    ok, that’s hilarious! Criminals are among us!

  11. AnnOra says:

    add his girlfriend to the list. guilty as charged.

  12. Rodney says:

    You know now that the haters will be out there bashing this movie and sooner or later one of those playground champions will pull out a “Your mom likes Wolverine” line and John will know this was all worth the setup.

  13. Dan says:

    Yet another case of Veal Cutlets saving a family. I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. And hungry.

  14. Meli says:

    LoL, awesome post. Yeaaaah, some of my family have watched the illegal copy and they liked it. My mom and I however said No Thanks we can wait till May 1st.

  15. Phil Gee says:

    I sentence you both to eternal damnation in ‘The Phantom Zone’. May Jack Valenti have mercy on your souls.

  16. AARON says:

    Lol Hazmat, I really can’t get in to 24, even though Jack is dying lol

  17. eric says:

    funny post john

  18. Bobby says:

    Did you just sell her out by posting this on your site???? :O

  19. Slushie Man says:

    lmfao, I can see John next time he’s with his mom, and the FBI burst her door down and take them in for questioning: “I’ve done nothing wrong my entire life!’ ‘John…honey…’ ‘No! Don’t talk to me! Don’t talk to me, Criminal!’

  20. BobaFett says:

    NOte: I worked the NAB show, and while talking with a couple of exhibitors, I heard a couple of people mention TV/Movies in 2020.

    In 10-15 years, the television industry will be completely different. Using DVRs and Set top boxes you will choose your content via high speed internet and streaming, downloading and “viewcasting”. Homes will only pay for the content they choose to receive that would still most likely be by “micropayments”. A network show might be free, or be as much as 10-20 cents. Local News would be free, and movies on HBO, Showtime and such would be 50 cents to a dollar. The bottom line is the studios would LOOOOOVE to eliminate the middle man, cable companies. Also producers would be able to avoid the studio system because digital distribution is simpler and without physical limitations.

    Another exhibitor expected movies to be available for permanent digital download when they are released (albeit for like $49.99). But hey that’s like 4 tix anyway and you’d never need to buy the DVD.

  21. BobaFett says:

    One last comment…Why the F should i care if i get the Home Shopping Network, Lifetime or Hallmark anyway?

  22. Devan Price says:

    either way I was gona watch it… you should call the cops now since you got your veal cutlets, but make sure she makes more before you do it or else you will regret it.

  23. tbrough says:

    Veal. yummmmm. How is her meatloaf?

  24. diskjokk says:

    LOL! John, ironically, my Mom recently saw it too. I called her the other day and she told me that she had seen the new Wolverine movie. I asked her how did she see it when it hasn’t come to the theather yet and she said a friend lent it to her on DVD.

    Wow!

    Anyway, she also reported that the movie was “very entertaining” and that “she really enjoyed it.” So there you have it; two positive movie reviews from our Mom’s :-)

  25. R1ZE says:

    This is actually really suprising to me. That someone who is out of the intended market, and (I’m assuming) not technologically inclined… managed to see this pirated movie. Maybe the BO will be affected after all.

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