The Rocker Review

Thanks for checking out our “The Rocker” review. If you’d like to see a video version of “The Rocker” review, you can watch it at the bottom of this post.

Rainn WIlson is one of the very best characters on TV’s “The Office”. He is the main comedy engine that drives that show. Wilson has a mastery over the art of expression that feeds so much life into his Dwight Schrute character that I could honestly say I’d watch an entire episode of just him talking to the camera about his life and it would still be hilarious.

But having said that, “The Rocker” (Wilson’s real first feature leading role) has looked ify at best and like an impending disaster at worst. Could Wilson punch out a winning performance and save the movie? Nope… no he couldn’t and no he didn’t. The Rocker is 4 flavors of shit.

THE GENERAL IDEA

Here’s what the basic synopsis of “The Rocker” looks like: “The Rocker tells the story of a failed drummer who is given a second chance at fame. Robert “Fish” Fishman is the extremely dedicated and astoundingly passionate drummer for the eighties hair band Vesuvius, who is living the rock n’ roll dream until he is unceremoniously kicked out of the band. Twenty years after his rock star fantasies are destroyed, just when Fish has finally given up all hope, he hears that his nephew’s high school rock band A.D.D. is looking for a new drummer. They reluctantly make him the newest member of the band, giving him a chance to reclaim the rock God throne he’s always thought he deserved, and taking the young band along for the ride of their lives.”

THE GOOD

Dear sweet heavens I’m trying to think of something… ANYTHING to write in this section.

Ok, how about this. There is this one scene in a Chinese restaurant basement where Wilson has a rat sitting on his face. Yeah… that made me grin for a second.

The poster is pretty cool.

Oh, and I don’t know how she does it, but Christina Applegate manages to look and act better and better with age.

That’s all I’ve got.

THE BAD

Where on earth do I start with this thing? Well let’s begin with the biggest thing… this “comedy” has zero laughs. The two or three times I giggled were because I was laughing at how completely awful this sack of shit movie was. I just took a look at the Rotten Tomatoes meter for The Rocker, and I’m completely SHOCKED that it’s got a 34% right now. This movie is so bad, that I’m having a really hard time accepting that 34% of the critics who have seen this movie actually LIKED IT?!?!?! Are they kidding me?

Rainn Wilson should not lead a film. Don’t get me wrong, I think it was a good move to give him a shot at leading a movie, but it becomes obvious pretty quickly that Wilson’s amazing talents are much better suited and taken advantage of when they’re used in supporting roles where he is more free to just bring the hilarity. As the lead in the film he didn’t work, his stuff often felt forced, painfully out of place with the rest of the film, and I couldn’t like or dislike him.

Dear heavens, if you’re going to do a film like this you better make sure the “kids” in the band are likable and have some sort of charisma and charm to get the audience invested in them. But all I wanted to do most of the movie was claw my eyes out or kick those kids in the face. Especially the lead band kid “Curtis” played by Teddy Geiger. He was pretty damn annoying and every time he opened his smug little emo face I wanted to spit in it.

There’s no point in me going on. It’s really just more of the same.

OVERALL

As good as it is to see Rainn Wilson get a shot at leading his own film, this movie is beyond awful. I can think of no redeeming element that would give me pause. The worst thing about The Rocker is that even though there isn’t a LOT of horrible things about it… there is absolutely NOTHING good about it. Is darkness the absence of light? If so, The Rocker is just totally filled with happiness darkness. Overall I can’t give “The Rocker” anything more than a 2 out of 10.

You can watch the video version of The Rocker review here (please forgive the audio problems, we had the wrong mic plugged in)