Star Wars: Clone Wars Review
Thanks for checking out our Star Wars: Clone Wars review.
Even most die hard Star Wars Apologists (of which I am one) admit to one degree or another that the latest set of Star Wars movies (The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith) were a mild disappointment at best and a complete raping of our childhoods at worst. The name Jar Jar Binks will go down in cinematic history as perhaps the most hated and despised character ever to hit the silver screen and George Lucas saw his almost religious like following of worshipers who saw him as a cinematic deity lose their faith almost overnight like Dorothy pulling back the curtain to reveal the true identity of the Wizard of Oz.
So now comes an animated feature called “Star Wars: Clone Wars” that takes place between episodes 2 and 3, directed by someone else and once again raising our hopes that perhaps a good Star Wars movie could exist again… or making us brace ourselves for the raping of our fond memories yet again. So did Star Wars: Clone Wars continue to defile our childhood memories and the original trilogy as Jar Jar did? You know what… it actually didn’t.
THE GENERAL IDEA
The war between the separatists and the Republic continues to intensify and grows increasingly close. Any advantage could become pivotal to either side. Many systems still remain neutral in the conflict as each side tries to win over more supporters. In the midst of this situation, hyperspace trade routes in the Outer Rim Territories (under the control of the Hutts) is becoming even more important. When Jabba The Hutt’s son is kidnapped (yes you read that right… Jabba’s son), the Jedi Council sees an opportunity and offers to send Jedi to rescue the Hutt if Jabba would be willing to allow the Republic to use the hyperspace routes in the Outer Rim. Anakin Skywalker is assigned his own Padawan Learner, a young girl named Ahsoka Tano and the two set out to rescue the Hutt. Little do they know, it’s all a part of Palpatine and Doku’s plan.
THE GOOD
The action of the film was far more intense than I was expecting. There were so many giant set pieces and grand action sequences that the film hardly ever stopped to catch its breath. And it’s not just that there was a LOT of action… it was all really good action. From the giant space battles to the huge ground troop battles, the lightsaber duels and the Jedi throwing themselves into swarms of battle droid fights… it was all really quite spectacular. To me, it was easily the most action packed Star Wars movie to date, and maybe the most action packed Sci Fi film I’ve ever seen (animated or otherwise). It was fantastic. My hats off to them.
As much as I worried about how the animation looked in the trailers, I’ve got to admit within about 3 minutes I was totally sold on it and thought it worked and looked quite beautiful. Yeah, the facial animation could have been a lot better, but aside from that I thought the landscapes, the structures, the ships, the movements and the environments in general were all done wonderfully in my opinion, but I can see why others may differ.
THE BAD
I don’t really know where to start. First of all they butchered the theme music. HOW THE HELL DO YOU BUTCHER THE CLASSIC AND IMMORTAL STAR WARS MUSIC?!?!?! After the words “A long time ago in a galaxy far far away” appear, you expect to hear that immortal music… but instead it was some pseudo variation of it… this was the movie serving notice that this was NOT a true star wars movie.
Instead of the iconic opening crawl setting the stage, some 1960’s game show announcer does some ass awful narration to start the film. I wanted to claw out my own ears he sounded so bad. Damn… and we’re only 30 seconds into the movie!
The dialog was beyond horrendous. I’m not even going to go into it.
The new Padawan, Ahsoka Tano, was so freaking annoying… so “modern youth”… so bitch like I wanted to climb into the screen, kick her in her little kid ribs and shove a lightsaber down her annoying little throat. She was NOT what a padawan or Jedi is supposed to be… not even close. She was so mouthy she made Anakin look like the Dali Lama of Padawans. It made me angry whenever she spoke. Her action sequences were sweet… but they should have kept a gag on her.
I’m sorry… but the main plot is Jedis rescuing Jabba The Hutt’s kidnapped son?!?!?! LAME!!
OVERALL
Ok, here’s the thing. Once I accepted that this film was unapologetically a little kids movie and I moved beyond my rage about that annoying fact, I actually found myself being able to have some fun with it. Yes, there are many rotten things wrong with this “movie”, but as I mentioned there was a hell of a lot of really high quality action and “fun” that had me being entertained despite the weaknesses. I refuse to call this a true “Star Wars” movie, and I’ll never accept it as cannon, but for what it was, by the time the credits roled I didn’t mind it too much. Overall I give Star Wars: Clone Wars a 6 out of 10.
104 Comments, Comment or Ping
Ottercard45
Reviews like this are what keep me coming back to this site for my movie news….Its a no bullshit zone and John tells it the way it is…Thanks for the heads up man
Aug 11th, 2008
Kristina
Why the FUCK are JEDI going to resuce JABBA THE HUTT’s SON? I’m not even a psycho SW fan, but when I read that, I spat out my food! Are you serious, man? Why are they resucing a GANGSTER’s son? HUH?!
Aug 11th, 2008
Kristina
HUH?!
Aug 11th, 2008
J Bryant
“The new Padawan, Ahsoka Tano, was so freaking annoying… so “modern youth”… so bitch like I wanted to climb into the screen, kick her in her little kid ribs and shove a lightsaber down her annoying little throat”
Ouch.
Aug 11th, 2008
Monty
I was worried the first time I saw Ahsoka was that she would turn out be a typical scene stealing, spunky, modern hip cliche type character, but I was hoping I was wrong, but appearently I wasn’t.
How was Anakin in this movie, one of the reasons I’ve never been to found of the prequels is due to never really finding Anakin as a particularly engaging main character( whether it be due to the dialog, story, or the actor himself).
Aug 11th, 2008
DAVE
Wow. I can’t believe they didn’t even use the original theme music.
Aug 11th, 2008
HDpunk
go watch empire strikes back instead. such an awesome movie after so many years….
Aug 11th, 2008
DAVE
First, I refuse to consider anything Star Wars related made after The Phantom Menace as “cannon.” So many authors tried so hard to keep a coherent time line before that and Lucas completely crapped on their efforts time and time again. I doubt anyone cares to hear my “why the prequels suck” diatribe, so I will move on.
Secondly, I thought the original Clone Wars series that aired prior to ROTS on cartoon network was the best thing to come out of this prequel crap and I have a feeling that this new movie/series is going to mar that now.
To John: you may be able to answer this upon seeing the movie, does this new film negate the 2003 Clone Wars series, or are they both considered “cannon” to Lucas? I’m very confused on this issue.
And to Lucas: listen to the fans and stop sucking. Give us Thrawn or go home. Try actually reading one of the books you signed off on during the 90’s and realize they are better narratives than you have proven yourself capable of producing in the last decade.
That said, thanks for the awesome review.
Aug 11th, 2008
giren
Is John Williams write the score of this movie? And I wonder that Ahsoka character was made as a main-girl character. Something to draw younger girls audience to the theater. I’m glad to hear that Lucas didn’t make this movie awful.
Aug 11th, 2008
Jason
Anyone not hating the new star wars movies is not a star wars fan AT ALL. just a hint. Actually you can’t call them Star Wars. Same for this “movie”.
Aug 11th, 2008
AjaxLou
Sounds a lot the prequels in tone and nature.
Everyone still excited for the TV series?
Aug 11th, 2008
miles
i do not like the sound of that plot line at all.
oh well, i am still going…the battles look amazing.
Aug 11th, 2008
BamBamAlakazaam
Distress call code word is “I want to see another Empire Strikes Back movie!!!” (lol, am listening to Circa Survive now). Wished they could’ve given us something as good as that :( , best SW ever.
Aug 11th, 2008
Roguepirate
So is this movie just a small portion of the clone wars story? I’m still some what confused about how this is different than the Animated Clone Wars cartoon that on was Cartoon Network that was intended to bridge the gap between episode 2 and 3.
Aug 11th, 2008
finaljoe
I don’t think anyone thought this was a “true Star Wars film”. If it was it would have been released in May to an unavoidable marketing campaign. Lucasfilm are clearly trying to distant it from the films which is probably why on the poster Clone Wars is big and Star Wars is small.
Aug 11th, 2008
Gordon Shumway
So a disposable distraction, not a chapter of the saga, kind of a glorified footnote. why bother? $$$$
Aug 11th, 2008
AC
Honestly, I’d make up my own mind on this one if I were you, kids. I saw a screening yesterday, and some of the things John liked least (okay, hated) were what I liked best - the new padawan, Jabba’s son, the score. To each his/her own!
Aug 11th, 2008
Treadstone
your kidding about the theme music right? i mean seriously what the hell. lucas hasnt gone that far off his rocker has he? they actually changed the title crawl music? oh sweet lord. thanks for the no bullshit review john. i appreciate you dont cut any corners. so in all for a big star wars fan is it worth seeing? or will it just piss me off more?
Aug 11th, 2008
Seth Rex
I’m probably going to like this. And I guess I’m not a STAR WARS fan as I liked ALL 3 Star Wars PREQUELS and didn’t find Jar Jar annoying at all. But that’s just me.
Aug 11th, 2008
Chris
I never even watched the original trilogy until at least a couple years before the new one came out, so I was fortunate enough not to have my childhood raped by anything. But this whole Clone Wars thing still sounds like bad SW fan-fiction. I hear Jabba’s son, and I keep picturing them looking for a turd.
Aug 11th, 2008
bigsampson
i saw this crap tastic film…… no he isnt kidding about the music….it was horrible..i set the tone for the rest of the movie….story was crap…which considering that it was animated i was hoping for better storyline…no instead what we got was a hour and a half long video game scene….truly this movie will die out cause it is just that lame. and AC it makes me wonder if u were a fan of the original or ever read ny of the books…..jaba’s son come on man just stupid….to be honest if these stupid ass jedi were actually skilled they would have known it was a trap.
and seth imo not finding jar jar annoying means u must have someone drreadful in your life that u put up with for some reason lawl
Aug 11th, 2008
Dragonslayer
It figures. How the hell do you have a Star Wars movie without the immortal theme and the crawl?! Are you fucking kidding? Not seeing it till DVD
Aug 11th, 2008
kyle
my ? is why did they come out with this now,shouldn’t it came out between 2 & 3.
and now shouldn’t it be a movie between 3 & 4.
doesn’t everybody want to see darth vader going around and raping the shit out of the universe?
Aug 11th, 2008
Phil Gee
“Instead of the iconic opening crawl setting the stage, some 1960’s game show announcer does some ass awful narration to start the film. I wanted to claw out my own ears he sounded so bad. Damn… and we’re only 30 seconds into the movie!”
Because i am afraid of the potential risk to my ears, i think i’ll wait till DVD but thanks for the warning John.
Go on though, give us a really bad quote from the film; just one. I want to know how bad the dialogue is.
Aug 11th, 2008
1138
Oh well. Was looking forward to this, but looks like I will wait for the DVD…stiff acting with bad dialog…no facial expressions…annoying characters…lame plot…sounds like the prequels…Ok it’s either a half price mattinee or DVD.
George are you a clone or something??
Aug 11th, 2008
John
Hey Phil,
You wanna know how bad the dialog was? Well here’s just a tiny tiny tiny little example:
1) They keep referring to Jabba’s son as “Little Stinky”
2) The new annoying little brat padawan kept refering to Anakin (her new Jedi master) as “Sky Guy”. “Hey Sky Guy, what do we do now?”
I can’t go on, it hurts too much
Aug 11th, 2008
Phil Gee
Jesus wept; thanks very much sir.
Y’know, i’ll admit to something. I thought the plot synopsis sounded rather cool actually (as in simplistic and a good excuse for lots of chasing, fighting and hanging out in bounty hunter bars etc.) but that’s because I pictured Jabba’s son as a bad to the bone twenty year old not……….Little Stinky.
Aug 11th, 2008
Supernetuser
John - you are harsh, but honest. I’m with other people on how the movies ought to at least follow the timeline the books have set for us. Yes, I have read all three post-Return of the Jedi trilogy books. Hell I’ve gone further than that and even read some Jaina and Jacen books. The latest one, well, I think twin sister is hunting down her brother. That’s all I know and I’m not going to leave spoilers. I will say though, that I would like it as well if Star Wars actually had a coherent timeline that made sense. Maybe there’s just too much detail to keep track of.
Aug 11th, 2008
Kristina
@John
Sky guy? SKY GUY?!
Jesus wept indeed.
Aug 11th, 2008
Steven C.
My god John this movie sounds horrible. I can’t beleive they don’t have the opening crawl and the theme music.
So being a big Star Wars fan should I go see this in theaters?
Aug 11th, 2008
bigsampson
fucking little stinky….sounds like some one crapped on that call
Aug 11th, 2008
Darren J Seeley
This will no doubt make money hand over fist, because it will be seen as a “family” type film, with the obvious name brand on it.
I was wondering the same thing Rougepirate did regarding the CN animated series before the release of Sith (Ep3)…if this new flick retconned the earlier show (and part of ‘Sith’ itself, seeing how it explains how General Grievous got his horse cough) …
I would have liked to see an animated adaptation of one of the Han Solo novels ( The Hutt Gambit comes to mind, given the lame storyline apparently present in ‘The Clone Wars’) or perhaps ‘Splinter Of The Mind’s Eye’, or one of the Boba Fett stories from the books.
When I saw the previews for the Clone Wars, I decided right then and there that I would skip the film. I have trouble believing that, Anakin, who was denied the rank of Master in Sith has a padawan in training and that this character speaks like, as John puts it, “modern youth”.
But when the news comes out that the classic themes aren’t used (even the trailer had snippets of the AOTC/ROTS soundtrack in them) something is amiss.
And it’s a damn good thing John gives this a 6 out of 10: if he gave it any less than that he might have suffered the same fate as Harry Knowles did yesterday.
Aug 11th, 2008
Tim
I think the problem is that you can’t look at this as another Star Wars movie. It was never meant to be another Star Wars movie. It’s not even really a movie. Just the pilot for a kids’ show.
Aug 11th, 2008
Dragonslayer
But my question is why, if you give it so much crap in the bad section, do you give it a 6/10?
Aug 11th, 2008
John
Hey Dragonslayer,
Read the review, it’s all in there.
Aug 11th, 2008
nbakid2000
Right off the bat I knew I didn’t want to see this - all because of the voice acting. Not including the fact that this piece of the story is worthless.
John, how bad IS the voice acting? The trailers are horrible (especially Yoda).
Aug 11th, 2008
Michael Dean
Aint it Cool had to take down there review. Lucasfilm is going hard this time. Have they got at u yet John??
Aug 11th, 2008
Kristina
Why’d they make them take it down? Because it was negative and told the TRUTH? Hell, if Harry fucking Knowles gives a Star Wars movie a bad review, it must be utter shit. That review had no spoilers in it, so that’s no excuse. I read it yesterday. That is fucking censorship of the media. I notice that there are no reviews up on RT, either. Lucasfilm is trying to disguise a turd as a diamond, methinks.
Aug 11th, 2008
Kristina
Okay, I just looked at AICN and they say that there is a review embargo until the DAY OF RELEASE, Friday. So, they are playing Let’s Hide The Turd. No advance review means no negative word before it opens. Pathetic.
Aug 11th, 2008
Yats
Im a huge Star Wars fan, but, you know, im not sure after reading this article i want to see this movie on the big screen. I’m depressed. Maybe i’ll just wait for it to come out on dvd. All i have is hope that the Live action tv series coming out in 2010 will kick ass and revive the Star Wars franchise and give it the respect it needs. I heard that the live action show will be a lot more dark and have an adult orientated theme…let’s pray thats true!
Aug 12th, 2008
Renee
SAW THE MOVIE LAST NIGHT AT A SNEAK PEAK AT NASA SPACE CENTER FOR A RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE FUND RAISER. I WOULD NOT TAKE ANYTHING FOR IT. I LOVED THE MOVIE!!! I think this review was pretty right on except a lot harsher and I would be. You can’t help but like a movie that brings back to “life” alomost of all my favorite Star Wars Characters, all of the sounds of Star Wars (ie: intergalastic battles and lightsaber battles, which there were many) and some comedy! Yes, the movie was aimed at a younger audience. The movie had everything a Star Wars movie usually has including a woman except this one was more like a “girl” ugh. My only real problem with the movie was the first five minutes. There is just something wrong with the way the movie starts. It was almost like I missed something. Just sit it out and you will be entertained. THE BEST PART OF THIS PREMIERE SHOWING WAS STAR WARS CHARACTERS THAT CAME AND WORKED THE ROOM AND POSED FOR PHOTOS BEFORE THE MOVIE STARTED - IN FULL COSTUME. I UNDERSTAND THEY WERE FROM A FAN CLUB IN CALIFORNIA AND TEXAS. THEY WERE GREAT!!!!!!
Aug 12th, 2008
Tripp Van Easille
From what I saw in the promos the artwork didn’t do it for me, and aftyer reading John’s humorous review it will be a big pass for this guy. I hope the little ones enjoy it…..talk about a disturbance in teh force!
Aug 12th, 2008
whonkie
Hey Wow…one thing i always enjoy are the talkbacks…the debate, ….i can’t think of any work of fiction thats ever been more debated…on every level, much like politics themselves.
GL gave us some of the most loved movies of all time,
then with the prequils some of the most hotly debated
movies off all time…it makes me wonder if its intentional…
but, it sure has given the internet one of its most popular debates.
Personally i like the sound of “Little Stinky” i mean who doesn’t love fart jokes…at least i hope he farts a lot…..KNOCKED UP
had a lot of fart jokes. Same with Austin Powers and Will Ferret,
in his films…i want a baby alien slug who farts, i just wish the
movie had its own smells and scents…ah who am i kidding..
that time is only like 10 years away…but will be a very wecome occurance…much like the gas that little stinky will give off…
There will always be a place in my heart for gas related pontification. And, yes, i mean that in several way…..
I”M SO EXCITED. and i just can’t hide it. Chacka Kahn. Chacka Kahn. Let the Little Stinky Rock you Chacka Kahn….KAAAAHHHHHNNNNN!!! …KAAAAHHHHHNNNNN!!! …KAAAAHHHHHNNNNN!!!
P.S. love the art style. nice color palette selections. the background art is worth price of admission right there…
Keep on rockin in the free world…the Little Sinky World!
Gas me….
Aug 12th, 2008
Old Ben
After reading your review, I’ll definitely be seeing this POS in the theater! It sounds just like Episodes 1+2- i.e. entertaining, just not a great work of art. That works for me!
Aug 12th, 2008
mixmastajb
hey john, does the jedi padawan give jar jar a run for his money
Aug 12th, 2008
Rodney
As stated above MixMastaJB, its all in the review.
Aug 12th, 2008
whonkie
personally i reallly like jar jar…even though he turned a lot of people to the dark side…and i find THAT amusing…haha..
also he reminds me of something…
Aug 12th, 2008
whonkie
..oh now i remember….he reminds me of a comedy!
Aug 12th, 2008
sean
easy there kristina. embargoes are a pretty common thing in the world of film reviews or news releases in general. “censorship” is hardly the term i’d use for it. and as the folks at aicn explained, it was a warners bros. decision, not lucasfilm. i’d suggest you check your facts before you go around pointing fingers.
Aug 12th, 2008
lick cumsucker
I disagree, well thats great and dandy that the music was different. Ever play super mario bros, for original 8 bit nintendo? Then play the following 15+ titles they have??? All the music is different it is the same concept just different. that is the same feel as these star wars??? live action and well cgi are to different things……
Aug 12th, 2008
GL
This movie is fun. Yes, the movie is aimed at a younger audience and zips along at a Saturday morning cartoon pace, and maybe I’m starved for anything good from the “Star Wars Clan” but I think you’re just a little bit too pickie on some points. I agree that I wanted to see and read the familiar “crawl” and the dialogue is young but the main plot is not just about rescuing Jabba’s son, there is a bit more to it. The battles are creatively action packed and exciting and the they manage to get all our favorite characters into the story. The plot is good and some characters are introduced in the third act seamlessly. This may be due to the fact that it’s actually the first three tv episodes edited together. All in all, I sense that you liked it more than you’re admitting or like me you’re just happy to see something that tries to take you back to that first screening of Star Wars ” A New Hope”.
Aug 13th, 2008
JIGG
The only thing i really had a problem with in this movie was the opening, not having John Williams do another masterpiece movie score and not having many of the real voice actors although the substitutes do a pretty good job.
i give it 4/5 stars
Aug 14th, 2008
giren
the fact that Warner embargoed the review makes me feel that this movie doesn’t have enough confidence…
Aug 14th, 2008
Movie Fan
I’m a huge fan of the Star Wars universe and I had followed it since its beginning. Frankly I’m disappointed this movie didn’t follow the book - The Approaching Storm. I mean come on - Jabba’s son? A female brat as Anakin’s padawan learner? What gives? Wouldn’t it be better if the main plot give us an internal exploration of Anakin’s internal conflicts and why he seems to be drawn toward the Dark Side, how the increasing tensions of the galactic war on both sides seem to be reinforcing his journey to the Dark Side instead? IMO I think I will pass on this movie and look for it when it come out on DVD instead.
Aug 14th, 2008
Matt
I just hope Jabba the Hut’s son has discovered Weight Watchers… surely it would be a right bitch to fly that space craft with that no-doubt ugly overweight lump of gangster sliding around…..
Aug 14th, 2008
Real Fan
Jason,your comment “anyone not hating the new starwars films is not a fan” is by far the most ignorant comment I have ever heard from a “Starwars fan”.I liked them.Oh and I have seen all six literally hundreds of times and shelled out thousands upon thousands of dollars on SW merchandise over the last 30 years,but that is a moot point to you since and does’nt count because i liked the prequels and the clone wars film.My friend,people like you are the problem.You are not a fan you are a fareweather fan.People like you ruin the fun of these movies for the real fans.A real fan likes all the films old and new and realizes what lucas has said over and over again.This is’nt supposed to be the second coming,this is’nt Gone with the Wind.It’s just a movie series lucas created on a lark to entertain people,and ya know what,despite what you and other bogus fans say, it is still doing just that ,entertaining people.A real fan does’nt diss starwars in any shape or form,and people, don’t listen to this clown,the clone wars is’nt a bad movie,it does’nt take it’s self too seriously(which is good in my opinion)it was a lot of fun.
Aug 14th, 2008
Real Fan
JIGG, I AM WITH YOU.THE ONLY THING I DID’NT LIKE WAS THE FACT THE MUSIC AND TEXT CRAWL WERE NOT PRESENT.I’M A THEATER MANAGER AND SCREENED IT LAST NIGHT WITH MY WIFE AND 3 YEAR OLD.MY WIFE(WHO HATES STARWARS)ACTUALLY LIKED IT.I DON’T SEE WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS .IT WAS’NT BAD AT ALL,AND DEFINENLY UNDERHYPED.PEOPLE,IM SORRY THAT EVERY MOVIE NOWADAYS IS’NT “THE DARK KNIGHT”(A MOVIE THAT I THOUGHT WAS OVERHYPED AND NOT ALL IT’S CRACKED UP TO BE)
Aug 14th, 2008
Real Fan
Hey,don’t any of you Starwars “fans” have some bashing to do?One thing I can say in defense of this movie.it’s a cartoon!this one is a kids movie so diolouge like “sky guy” and “little stinky”fit right in.Jeez some of you “fans” are seriously stuck up!
Aug 14th, 2008
John
Hey “Real Fan”
Being a fan does not mean being a blind drone who looses all ability to discern quality from crap.
I am a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team, but that doesn’t mean I lie to myself and to others when the Leafs play a bad game. I am a life long Star Wars fan, but that doesn’t mean I turn off my brain and lie when Lucas and company turn out shit (which they have).
You liked the prequels? Good! All film is subjective and I’m glad you got enjoyment out of them. HOWEVER, there are other people who saw a lot of crap in the new movies, and that is they’re right, and they are no less fans that you because of it
Aug 14th, 2008
Real Fan
Hey,where are all the starwars bashers tonight? oh getting ready to go see the clone wars just so you can diss it?
Aug 14th, 2008
Real Fan
John,yeah i liked the prquels,but I never said that they did’nt contain crap in them.(they did) I’ll try to make a point here so bear with me.The new films had their moments,but yes they were not as good as the originals(I think the Phantom Menace was treated way too harsh.It’s better than AOTC for shure!) contrary to popular beleif the original films were treated harshly by plenty of critics because of the wooden acting,bad diolouge and the same preachyness that the prequels suffered from,we’ve just had 30years to get used to it.empire was a bit too preachy,jedi had the damn ewoks,TPM had jar jar and too much politics,AOTC has wooden acting and horrible writing and sith tried to do to much.The only one that near perfect is a new hope(this is as close to lucas’s true vision of starwars as you’ll get)What i am trying to say is this is the same starwars we got 30 years ago ,the problem is most of us who grew up with starwars have done just that,grown up and we are still hoping for that same feeling we got in the summer of 77 as children,but we can’t so we say there is something wrong with the movies,when actually it’s just us.And as far as the maple leafs go,when they have a bad game there is an L in the win/loss.Each prequel made over $300 mill at the box office that is a W in my book,since so many people are concerned about box office figures now days.
Aug 14th, 2008
Real Fan
Sometimes we forget why starwars and other films are here,to entertain us and take us away from reality for a couple of hours.Take a sports franchise for example.some times they win a championship,but most of the time they lose and we forget that the sole purpose is’nt just to win.It’s for entertainment, a place to take the family and have fun,and when critics get in the way and bash a movie before anyone can form their own opinion we sometimes forget just exactly why movies like any of the starwars films exist.I would love another starwars film as good as a new hope,but hey that probobly is’nt going to happen,movies like that come by once in a lifetime.
Aug 14th, 2008
Ethan
Hey, John! Thanks for the heads up on the movie! Honestly, I am a die-hard Star Wars fan, and even though I am a little scared at how this will turn out in the end, I am really looking foward to seeing it. I’m really glad I read your review because I swear, if I was to walk into the theater and not seeing the traditional opening crawl and listening to the traditional theme song, I swear I would throw a can of soda at the screen. But even if there isn’t, i guess it all depends on how we see it differently, I could end up liking it, but I’m still not very happy about that. I am really glad there’s a lot of intense (and good) action, because this is the Clone Wars and if there isn’t a lot of action, it doesn’t deserve to be called the Clone WARS, although I’m not sure what they would call it otherwise… I’m also not too happy about the whole “Little Stinky” Jabba the Hutt’s son situation, the fact that he isn’t a bad-ass gangster like his father is a let-down, but alas, it’s a kid-friendly movie but I like kids movies and kid-friendly movies. Is it at all a little funny at parts? As for the rest of the review, I’m glad the bad of the movie aren’t so incredibly bad as to disuade anyone from seeing it, you got me even more excited when you mentioned the great action. Thanks so much for the review! Star Wars is awesome! And you make the best, most honest reviews I have ever read, keep it up!
And to all of you bashers out there: SEE THE GOSH-DARNED MOVIE BEFORE YOU BEGIN HATING IT. You might even end up liking it for all you know. It looks great.
Aug 15th, 2008
Shane Black
I love star wars and other than jar jar I enjoyed all the prequels and the clone wars on cartoon network. I read the comics and the novels. And enjoy them. I feel bad that so many people go into these movies thinking, well I dont know what they are thinking. I really enjoyed the movie for exactly what it is. STAR WARS. Who cares about the crawl, the music, the star ship troopers introduction. I liked all this. I liked the new padawan and all the action. The plot might of been simple but it made since plus we got to spend some time with Jabba, Jabbas uncle ziro the hutt was hilarious to me and he does sound like truman Capote. I mean we all love the universe, why dont we quit being so darn critical and have some fun with it.
Aug 15th, 2008
amused
If we could just get all u people into a room together for like 10 min. and record you all trying to kill each other………………………………that would be funny.
Aug 15th, 2008
Burgess
As a fan i agree that it is open to perceptions but come on…..karen traviss is one of the best writers to come out with star wars fiction. her republic commando books are enjoyable to all , not just SW fans. even she was not able to rescue the plot in the novel adaptation. that was my first warning sign and i should have taken it. i just saw the movie…..wish i hadnt. i have put up with alot of crap from lucas arts attempts to cash in without supporting the fans or the franchise. even signing off on books, in fact forcing writers to keep certain timelines and plot lines and having everything checkd by sue rostini before it can be approved, then throwing it all away for whatever project they feel can make the most money….its one thing to be a sell-out, its another to get a holier then thou attitude and pretend you are not. if GL doesnt want to make a decent starwars movie then step aside and let someone else, 80 percent of the novels are better then anything out of lucas arts. hell the plot of the non-lucas arts video games are bettter the the new direction of star wars (KOTOR kicks ass!) i like the sports team comparisons but imagine this….you have a team that loses, you are still a fan thick and thin, you dont expect them to always win and that ok…..but what if they had 5 all-stars riding the bench? what if they refused to play the best players? what if they went out of thier way to lose, rather then admit thier is a better way to do things? (like my S.F. Giants!!!) how much does a fan have to put up with?
Aug 15th, 2008
Sean
Just kill me now. Please.
My two year old loves Phantom Menace, but that’s not saying much as he still craps in his drawers. But now this?
It sounds like Lucas is doing the same in his old age.
Get a grip Georgie. Sky-guy? WTF?!?
I won’t even rent this on DVD, I’ll wait until it comes out on TMN for free and PVR it. Georgie has enough of my fucking money.
Aug 15th, 2008
Robert(wolf)
Saw the film today. Thought it was bullshit. The dialog was mostly stating the obvious in a sarcastic lame humor.
Didn’t like the animation when it came to the fighting, very lifeless and heavy slow feel to it.
Stinky? Sky-guy? Not enough Windu? annoying ass droids? Homosexual Hut Uncle? Ahhhh!!!!
I liked the voice acting and my comfy seat I was in.
Aug 15th, 2008
Shade
Well butter my butt me biscuit…
…It was good…
Damn good…
I guess I’m not a true Star Wars fan *cough*jason*cough*.
But don’t expect me to compromise my views of an excellent movie so I can fit to what you believe is a star wars fan.
I view myself as a die hard SW fan and love the fact that we can have a respectable depiction of the clone wars to rely on.
This is an excellent addition to the Star Wars continuity and an all around wonderful flick.
Aug 15th, 2008
matt
it’s always entertaining to see anything Star Wars on the big screen. & i really dug the animation. however, having said that, this movie expands nothing. I keep hearing that the Clone Wars were so “vast” & “changed everything” in the star wars universe… & that this movie was going to cover some of that. well, then send us away on a few new journeys with a few new stories. christ, we’ve been to tattoine so many times it feels like my mom’s house. this movie is simply more of the same ol’ same ol’. if anything, this & the pre-quels, make the Star Wars universe much, much, smaller.
Aug 15th, 2008
Real Fan
To all of you people who are dissing George Lucas,you people do realize that HE is the one responsible for the original films that you people hold in such high regard.Thatslike dissing god because you don’t like the way the world is going now days,you all are morons.you hated the prequels yet you paid to see them over and over again.It does’nt make much sense does it?
Aug 15th, 2008
Real Fan
Im a starwars expert so let me explain something to you people,all of the wooden acting and bad writing for the prequels was on purpose.It harks back to the day of the old B movie serials that he was trying to copy,he was’nt powerfull enough in hollywood to do the originals that way in the beggining,the critics would have torn him apart more than they already did(yes,the old films reviews were not stellar,they complained about the same thing you people say is wrong with the prequels,wooden acting,bad writing) when you people diss the new ones the way you do it shows how little you really know about george lucas and his methods for making starwars films,and to all of you who were expecting Gone with the wind with this new movie,wll let me say this IT’S A CARTOON! A KIDS MOVIE! WHAT DID YOU PEOPLE EXPECT? AN EARTH SHATTERING EVENT? but lucas already tried to explain this to people.
Aug 15th, 2008
Real Fan
Matt, I hear what you are saying,but don’t worry,this movie is only kicking off the new clone wars series.there are plenty of battles yet to be fought.
Aug 15th, 2008
Real Fan
Shade,kudo’s to you.It seems like you are the only one out here that understands what they are trying to do with this movie.Im sick of everyone dogging lucas,I mean come on! this is the guy who created starwars,don’t bite the hand that feeds you,all you ungratefull so called “fans” you people are not fans! Do simpsons fans diss the series based on a couple of episodes they believed were less than stellar.
Aug 15th, 2008
John
Hey “Real Fan”
Sadly you seem unable to accept that one can be a fan of something or someone, and yet be honestly hate something they did that was shit.
The Prequels were massive let downs, and Clone Wars is a disgrace.
You disagree? That’s fine, I’m honestly happy you enjoyed them, but others who didn’t, are still true Star Wars fans.
Aug 15th, 2008
EEMAN
Hey “REAL FAN”, I think you’ve made your point. You keep re-hashing it as if you are expecting everyone to forgo their own opinions. Please stop trying to monopolize the forum. I still plan on taking my 5yr old daughter to this despite the reviews. I am hoping she gets the childhood experience from this that I got from ep4. Kids are different than they were when I was 5 (37 now). I saw ep4 when I was 6 and was forever changed by it. It opened my mind to a whole new way of thinking and dreaming I never thought possible at age 6. However, I do appreciate candid review like this so that I dont go into movies with an overly high expectation. I find that if I read a dissapointing review, I end up liking the movie better than had I gone in with a high expectation and then suffered a let down.
so to summarize, we get your point, but your over stating it.
These arent the droids you’re looking for
we can go about our business
move along..
Aug 16th, 2008
JEan
(Type your comment here. Make sure you’ve read the commenting rules before doing so)
Dave is right.
We need Thrawn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aug 16th, 2008
Hasslein
I’m consistantly amazed how everyone says how bad the prequels are & how it tainted their Star Wars memory. HAS EVERYONE FORGOTTEN HOW MUCH JEDI SUCKED?
Aug 16th, 2008
Hasslein
Oh yeah, although flawed, I enjoyed the movie.
Aug 16th, 2008
John
Hey Hasslein,
Jedi is the best Star Wars movie, followed closely by Empire
Aug 16th, 2008
Neutral
Let’s make try and make it simpler
The live-action trilogies were for older audiences We all enjoyed them for various reasons - the battles, the plot, the general idea. Clone Wars was made for kids - target audience: boys age 6-14.
In addition, we might as well make a distinction between the old school Star Wars fans and fans of director George Lucas. Those of us who didn’t like the prequel series can watch reruns of the old movies and cheer them on.
Me, I don’t really love or hate. I watch the movies, read the books & then come up with my own interpretation of the SW galaxy regardless of how bad or good they are.
Aug 17th, 2008
GT
Why, John, do you think Jedi is the best? I’m not insulting your opinion or anything, but I just can’t really understand it. Sure, the whole Jabba seqwuence was good in a silly sort of way, and it had some nice moments, but the whole thing feels so flawed. Ideas for the first two films are rehashed to less success ( Leia as Luke’s sister, was not as revelatory as Luke being Vader’s son, death star being destroyed was less exciting as in ‘Hope’ etc) and there are a great deal of irratating moments. The Ewoks were at least as bad as Jar Jar, and Vader’s redemption wes waaaay to hollywood and mushy. It really undermined him as a villain. The ending of Empire had so much promise, but this film fails to build on that, and in the end just feels crushingly disapointing. In my opinion, of course.
Oh, and I think people judge Clones far too harshly, and can’t decide where to put Sith in my top 3. But Phantom sucks, no question.
Aug 17th, 2008
John
Hey GT,
Return of the Jedi:
Greatest Space battle scene in the history of film
Vader / Skywalker fight the best of the franchise dramatically
Vader’s ending and redemption were PERFECTION
The Ewoks worked completely as an allegory of Technology vs the natural world
The emperor was fantastic as the embodiment of the Dark Side
I could go on and on and on and on. Jedi (in my opinion) was the best of the franchise. No flaws whatsoever.
But all film is subjective and if you see if differently then your view is just as valid as mine.
Aug 17th, 2008
Thomas Carrieri
I Love STAR WARS. ALL OF IT!!!
Aug 17th, 2008
Film fan
The best Star wars film was Return of The Jedi by far.
I think the myth of Star Wars is stupid as the directors cuts are just stupid looking and lack soul.
Aug 19th, 2008
Beorach
I was wowed by the action to start with…like it seemed maybe the death toll of clones would make this movie one kids shouldn’t see…but that passed. Outside the AT-TE scaling the monastery wall, I don’t think any of the action was impressive from that first scene on. Part of that comes from your knowing who has to survive, of course - there really was no tension.
As for the best of the original trilogy, I have to say ESB hands down. RotJ was satisifying but you had to be a kid to really overlook what the ewoks were…
Aug 19th, 2008
Valerie
Hi Star Wars fans!
I have just finished a review of Clone Wars cartoon and I hope you get a chance to read it.
Go Padawan!!
http://valeriewriter.wordpress.com/
Aug 19th, 2008
Ethan
I just saw it and… before any of you throw away the idea of seeing it, SEE IT, it is a really good movie, and though most of John’s review is very honest, it was still very good. The action was great, it’s almost like they turned it into a bit of a war movie at some parts (Well, then again, it is the Clone Wars) but it’s something you wouldn’t expect to see. The action was believable, but the dialogue wasn’t. Just see it y’all, you might end up liking it. Just close your ears when Ahsoka talks.
Aug 19th, 2008
C32Jedi
Wow. I consider myself the biggest SW fan ever, as many who read this do. I loved the original trilogy, enjoyed the prequels, and now had the privlidge to take my OWN kids to see a SW film - The Clone Wars. My son left the movie so thrilled, it honestly made me cry. That was the point to this new series - bring along the kids and get them excited like we were 30 years ago. Remember - these were for kids and the little kids are enjoying the film. In a few years the more x-filesish Star wars live action will be on TV for all of us including the FanBoys who wanted more than a kids cartoon. But in the end, thats what the whole saga is, a fairy tale for children who are lacking fairy tales, it isnt a saga for lovers of dark brooding comic books. So find the kid in you again, or ask for pictures of my son who left the theater all smiles with his lightsaber saying “Ahsoka is cool and I let’s go again!” :)
Aug 20th, 2008
Harold
Chris said: “I hear Jabba’s son, and I keep picturing them looking for a turd.”
lmao!!! My wife’s lookin at me right now like I’m a damn maniac! that was TOOOOO funny.
That being said, I’m gonna see the movie anyway, no theme or whatever!
Aug 20th, 2008
Wii ROK
I didn’t really like the prequel trilogy the only one out of them I like was episode 3. Anyway I would actually like seeing a seven, eight, and nine the nthis piece of crap
Aug 22nd, 2008
slybri
Thing is, this was supposed to be a TV pilot for a cartoon series on the cartoon network. They got greedy and released it in theaters. It doesn’t belong on the big screen, but they put it there. It probably would have got decent reviews had it just been on TV, but since they put it up on the big screen, it deserves all the scorn it is getting.
Aug 22nd, 2008
Chris
They should use the same format for this film to do 7,8,9. That way they could use all of the original actors for the voice, but not have to worry about them looking to old. I’m sure Mark hamil and Carrie Fisher could use the money.
Aug 22nd, 2008
All Entertainment
Like you, I tried to get into it, but in the end found only dissappointment. My review called it “A Reel Disaster!”
Aug 23rd, 2008
TEVILDO
The more time passes, the more I find all these so-called “starwars fans (real fans, core fans, most-real, most-core, whatever)” perfectly annoying. I always considered myself a fan (I was here in 1977 for instance), but I have no choice but to seek another word that “fan” to describe myself - to make sure I cannot be mistaken with one of these sicky starwars gouls. Why do fans see starwars like being their “own”? It seems that in their view each new product (film, comic, novel and -here- CGI cartoon) MUST fit THEIR dream just like if Star wars was their strict property. When it doesn’t fit the “ideal” (and it CAN NOT DO, of course not), they run screaming around like psychos, cursing GL and his staff along with all the others so-called fans who happen to not share their strict and poor view of it. Clearly they lost their childhood, their natural taste for simple entertainment. Remember, even the cannon first movies where created in a saturday-morning-40’s-serial spirit, not to be this so serious and untouchable treasure they (so-called fans) seems obsessed to protect from others, like Gollum with the Ring.
In the past I saw and red all that can be seen and ridden from the franchise. Now I’ve just seen Clone Wars. I was aware that this was not a “seventh” but a part of a TV show for young audience (oh-oups! By the way, just like ANH and followers in their time, ask GL), and I enjoyed it as much as possible. It’s most funny, there’s a lot of fantastic action and cool animation (OK, characters are a bit “straight” for my taste, OK). The fact is: I liked it because it’s likable. For those who really “can’t bear” it, the reason is that they do expect far too much, forgetting that the entire creative team behind the show didn’t work all these years to please each strict, jealous, obsessive and selfish “Right idea” of THE core-true-real star wars a so-called fan carries along wherever he goes. It’s an entertainment franchise, nothing more. It always has been great, it remains cool. Be honest, truly ask the child that lies inside you. This very one child that has been cut off all possibility of pleasure at the time of, say, TPM because YOU, adult, decided you knew better. At Star wars time, you know far less than the child inside you. Let him drive and hold the pop-corn and soda. Then you’ll find that all star wars product is perfectly cool. But if you stay obsessive with YOUR star wars ideal, you will never appreciate new star wars stuff again. Never.
Anyway by releasing this new segment of SW franchise, Lucasfilm has not destroyed the entire lot of copies of the first trilogy -including your own beloved DVDs- has it ? So stick to them and watch them again, again, and again if THAT is your way. But never shall you call yourself “Star wars fan” again. The real name is a bit longer : “Star wars first trilogy fans”. As long as you’re not able to release the child inside you.
Aug 23rd, 2008
TEVILDO
If U feel ready to step ahead from all meaningless angry side of the Force, then spend an hour on theforce.net enjoying a fresh and positive (aired) review with the optimistic team of “the Clone Wars Round Table”:
http://www.theforce.net/topstory/story/FC_Clone_Wars_Round_Table_The_Movie_117127.asp
Aug 24th, 2008
Derek Porter
After watching the Clone Wars I’m convinced that George Lucas butchered his own baby (obviously I’m implying that he allowed Star Wars to be ruined - his own creation). I’m tired of making excuses for Episode I, II, and III. The fact is those films were bad… Really bad. The Clone Wars film is so horrible that I will never spend another cent on anything to do with Star Wars. No more excuses, no more giving Lucas the benefit of the doubt. The entire Star Wars franchise is no longer of any interest to me. I’m not going to get into specifics because this blog is alread too long. The point is I hate Lucas for what he himself has done and what he has allowed to happen. He’s a crock, he’s embarassing, he’s a disgrace… For one to actually enjoy Star Wars at this point - I’d say you would need the intellect of a 2 to 7 year old.
Aug 24th, 2008
TEVILDO
Then I’m glad I can still find in myself this “intellect of a 2 to 7 years old” when I precisely need it, never being shame for it. There are still other times to go to, for instance, Jarmush or Scorsese and then again, I easily find my way for it. Receive all my condolences for your recent affliction and may your former Star Wars enjoyment rest in peace, Derek.
Aug 24th, 2008
treycranson
The reason I don’t think this did very well in the box office, besides the suck factor is the timeline jump. Most people thrive on anticipation, and jumping to a time when we know what happened before and we know what happened, just leaves us with that part we don’t care about. If this would’ve picked up with the story between Episode 3 and 4, I think they could have had more draw at the box office.
Aug 25th, 2008
TopVulture409
(Type your comment here. Make sure you’ve read the commenting rules before doing so)How does………hmmmmmm……..the visual of ……..I mean the mental visual in my crooked head cannot contemplate howwwww……….exactly does Jabba…..(ahem)……..have….any kind of like ……offspring.
Aug 25th, 2008
Dragonslayer
Star Wars Ep. 4 will always be in my top ten
Aug 25th, 2008
TEVILDO
Along with TREYCRANSON’s remark, one of the firsts questions is: is the “movie” really worth theaters? As a TV Show, it’s more than great for sure.
@ TOPVULTURE409: It’s stated (from an EU novel I red but forgotten which it was, maybe one of the Han Solo trilogy) that Hutts are in fact asexual. No reproduction, they decide or not to breed and the baby has only one parent. Hope it’ll remove your nightmares about it ;)
Also in this novel, by natural cycles of their specie they change their grander through time (on the attempt to breed?). Maybe the so-hated Zero character in Clone Wars is in his/her female period rather than be homosexual as many have thought about him. But no EU rules another EU and U may think what U want about that. I, personally, found him really funny anyway.
Aug 25th, 2008
pete
Hey people. This is a kids movie and you are ripping it apart cos the characters are simple and say silly things.
As an adult, I watch Mary Poppins and I don’t start bashing it up cos she pulls a hatstand out of her handbag and she uses an umbrella to fly.
Anyway, I read these reviews in my head using the Simpsons Comic book guy’s voice. I can’t help it. It’s very funny.
Aug 27th, 2008
Raider Raul
Ok, the first MAJOR disappointment was when I went to see Clone Wars on opening night (10:30pm showing), there were AT MOST 20 people in the theater. I mean, where’s the requisite Star Wars waiting in line???
For the first 10 minutes, I couldn’t believe that there was no opening scroll, there was an annoying narrator, and couldn’t help thinking “I’m watching a friggin video game!”
Then, after some witty dialogue and some awesome CG sequences, I finally suspended my disbelief and was able to enjoy the next hour or so.
The whole Jabba’s baby son thing was pretty ridiculous. I’m the proud father of a 4 month old (hi little Raider Ramon!), and I couldn’t believe they didn’t even feed “little Stinky”. That whole subplot was Lucas at his utmost cheesiest!!
I thought that Jabba’s cousin or whatever was pretty cool at the end. Cool colors and a character so unbelievable that it was absurdly funny.
Overall, I would rate this movie 2.5 stars out of 4. Disappointing, but still a part of Star Wars lore. Much better than any of the Ewok movies, but actually not quite as good as the Clone Wars cartoon series from a few years ago.
Aug 27th, 2008
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