TMB’s Top 10 Man’s Man Movie Characters
There are just some movie characters that make you, as a man, want to beat your chest and just let out a mighty “GGRRRRRR”. After watching one of their movies you just walk a little taller, you fear nothing, you perceive more women wanting you and you feel the call of the warrior rushing through your man veins.
Yes, each one of these characters is a Man’s Man, and we at TMB salute them all. Here now is our list of the Top 10 “Hell Yes I’m A Man” movie characters.
10) Tony Montana (Scarface)
The Godfather may or may not be a better overall film, but no question Tony Montana is Al Pacino’s crowning achievement as an actor. Brutal, driven, passionate. All these things and more. “Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women”. Damn right Tony… damn right. It’s insane how well this movie ages. Like The Godfather, it’s one of those movies that when people watch it for the first time they’re still blown away by it… and Tony is the main reason for that. GRRR!!!
9) Snake Plissken (Escape From New York)
The coolest man in the history of the planet to wear a patch over one eye who wasn’t a pirate. The role that Kurt Russell will probably always be most identified with. Snake will kick you in the balls just to say hello… even if he has to go into Manhattan to do it. “I got just one question. Which one of you assholes gets to die trying to stick me? ” Ok that was from Escape From LA, but it’s still Snake. Now that’s a name! Snake! You know you have to be bad ass to cary that moniker.
8) John McClane (Die Hard)
I don’t care if the rest of the day John McClane listens to Abba while trying on his latest order from Victoria’s Secret, drinking apple martinis while talking about the most recent fashion trends in France… when you have a gun fight against Austrian terrorists running barefoot over broken glass and yell out a line like “Yippee Kiay Mother Fucker” while whacking a bad guy like Han Gruber… YOU ARE A MAN’S MAN and deserve a spot on this list.
7) Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry)
Anyone today who calls another person a “punk” comes off sounding like a total knob… unless that person is Dirty Harry (Clint Eastwood). The man’s eyes alone are enough to make you crap yourself 3 times before he says his first grisly sounding words, and may heaven help you if he decides to go for his piece. “Go ahead punk. Make my day” is a line that delivered by anyone else would be instantly forgotten… but from the divine lips of Dirty Harry, they become a part of our cultural lingo.
6) General Maximus Decimus Meridius (Gladiator)
I don’t know about you, but if I start giving someone a hard time and I bark at them to tell me their name… and they turn around, look at me square in the eyes and say “My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.” I’m offering my appologies for my rudeness and praying to the Roman gods that the dude let’s me walk out of there alive.
5) John J. Rambo (First Blood)
I remember as a kid watching First Blood for the first time, and seeing John J. Rambo sewing himself up after ripping a cut open while falling through the trees. That was the single most macho thing I had seen any character in any movie do at that point in my very young life. If life has taught me anything, it’s that you’ve got to be one tough sonofabitch to stand up to Brian Dennehy.
4) Conan (Conan The Barbarian)
You’re at a party, everyone is having a good time and you’re standing at the bar waiting for your next beer, so you decide to make conversation with the dude next to you by asking “Parties like this are the best parts of life… what do you think are the best things about life?” and he turns to you and responds “”To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you and to hear the lamentations of their women” then you are in the presence of a MAN. Back away bowing before his pure male awesomness.
3) King Leonidas (300)
When you’re king, and you have a body that looks like it was chiseled out of a mountain side, and you’re banging a woman like Lena Headey each night who refers to you as “My Lord and My King”… then you’re damn right you get to walk around in nothing but a lion cloth and there ain’t anyone who is going to say squat about it. THIS IS SPARTA! That dude can order soup in that yelling, Lion like roar of his and it would still sound wicked. I guess growing up in a kingdom where it’s cool to try to kill your kids just to see if they survive kinda helps.
2) Beowulf (Beowulf)
This was the guy who inspired this list. The man swims 5 days, kills 9 giant sea monsters and then still has the energy to bang a turned on Mermaid who watched him do it all. This my friends is a chest pounding, awe inspiring beast of a man. He represents what deep down all of us penis equipped people aspire to be. We all wish we could shout normal phrases in the third person with massive threatening conviction “I am John, and John demands 2 cheese burgers with a side of fries, or by Oden I shall strike you dead where you stand filthy dog”.
1) Spartacus (Spartacus)
You think you had it rough as a kid? Try growing up a slave in ancient Rome with the whip at your back. Bought and sold like an animal, trained to be a gladiator, forced to fight in the area… then saying “Enough of this shit”, and you rally all the slaves together and say “Let’s kick ass” and form an army that nearly topples the entire Roman Empire. Grrrrrrr baby! You’ll even kill your own best friend just so you can hang on a crucifix instead of them having to suffer through it. GGRRRRRRR!!!! Not to mention, Kirk Douglas is the single most manly man the world has ever known, and even at his current age and health he could beat the living crap out of you. All hail Spartacus! All hail Kirk Douglas! The most macho of us all!
1. doug nagy replies at 15th November 2007, 10:44 pm :
We swam for 5 days!
2. Darren J Seeley replies at 15th November 2007, 11:06 pm :
#10. Lieutenant Frank Bullitt (Bullitt)
#9. U.S. Marshal Rooster Cogburn (True Grit)
#8. King Leonidas
#7. Conan
#6. Beowulf (note: aside from recent film, character was also played by Highlander Christopher Lambert AND a few yrs ago by Gerald Butler- King Leonidas himself!)
#5. Curly Washburn (City Slickers)
#4. General Maximus Decimus Meridius
#3. John McClane
#2. Snake Plissken
and the one character Gio should be ashamed for not putting on the list…
#Numereo Uno
Bond. James Bond.
3. tr0n replies at 15th November 2007, 11:46 pm :
NO… I AM SPARTICUS
4. DarkKinger replies at 16th November 2007, 12:13 am :
Hard to argue this list. I would add Roddy Piper from They Live (”I came to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I’m all out of gum.”)
Anyways, regarding Beowulf, I remember having a last-minute-before-summer assignment in my freshman high school year on the story, and was very dissapointed that NONE of my classes got to exploit this. Bet my school is regreting that!
I have to say, not only was I surprised that a film was being made (espically from a good director and great writer), but damn, #2! After a few days, Beowulf has made an impact! Who knew a very old epic poem would show wannabe badasses how its done!
As for Spartacus, good choice for #1.
5. Vincent replies at 16th November 2007, 1:39 am :
This is good stuff writing.
6. Mozzerino replies at 16th November 2007, 2:46 am :
Where’s Bond? He’s is without a doubt the most macho movie character ever!
And what about Indiana Jones?
Oh John, how could you forget these two?
7. krazie835 replies at 16th November 2007, 3:14 am :
Spartacus king of hard to beat him in total macho maness.
8. Gerry Alanguilan replies at 16th November 2007, 4:16 am :
In my list, I’d ditch Kirk Douglas and his skinny ass legs. That scene in the gladiator ring makes me wince every time I see those skinny ass legs. Sorry guys. I’d put William Wallace in there in his place.
9. AjaxLou replies at 16th November 2007, 5:18 am :
Never understood the Scarface love - I find it one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies of all time.
And no Clint Eastwood love? Interesting. I would put his Man With No Name and Dirty Harry both on this list.
10. JORDAN replies at 16th November 2007, 5:34 am :
you soud do one for tv john
11. Mkfreak2 replies at 16th November 2007, 6:06 am :
No Indiana Jones.
Excuse my language, John, but’s that fucking cockshit!
12. John replies at 16th November 2007, 6:19 am :
No Clint Eastwood Love?
Ummm… look at #7
No James Bond?
Nope. I love Bond, but but as far as being a man’s man, he doesn’t bump ANYONE on this list.
No Indiana Jones
He was the last one to get bumped off the list. He is a man’s man no doubt… but the glasses and and nerdy day job puts him just under anyone else on this list.
13. Aaron replies at 16th November 2007, 7:41 am :
Great list; I’d personally try to find a spot for William Wallace. He had balls of steel, until they cut them off
14. jan replies at 16th November 2007, 7:56 am :
What about Ash from Evil dead ?
15. Kurt replies at 16th November 2007, 7:56 am :
Is it just me, or do the characters on this list get more naked as you count down towards #1?
:)
16. #007# replies at 16th November 2007, 10:37 am :
@Mozzerino & @Mkfreak2
Indiana Jones ??? Macho - hell no!
He’s a goofball..does not deserve on the list…maybe…honourable mention.
17. AjaxLou replies at 16th November 2007, 11:11 am :
Doh! Busted… ;)
18. Chris J replies at 16th November 2007, 11:21 am :
Where’s Chuck Norris?!
19. CW05 replies at 16th November 2007, 11:25 am :
Chuck Norris is too manly to make this list.
20. John replies at 16th November 2007, 11:27 am :
Where is Chuck Noris?
Chuck is a real person.
21. Stormy70 replies at 16th November 2007, 12:06 pm :
Han Solo?! You have failed me for the last time, John Campea.
And where is Eomir? He is a Horse Lord, for sweet Jenny’s sake! Have you seen him slice through his enemies?
My cat is nicknamed Snake Plissken, because she can practically unhinge her jaw when she is biting our computer chairs.
22. John replies at 16th November 2007, 12:08 pm :
Hey Stormy70,
Those are great names that I did consider… but who do you bump off the list to make room for them? I love Han… but he was a bit of a suck a couple of times in the movies… certainly you don’t bump off Dirty Harry for Han
23. Phil Gee replies at 16th November 2007, 12:31 pm :
Well it’s hard to disagree with the list (especially having just come back from seeing Beowulf in IMAX 3D) but i would make 3 additions:
1) Daniel Craig’s James Bond - the guy can do anything. He can charm any woman, defeat the fastest runner, kill a man with his bare hands, survive the most awful torture and laugh his way through it, and his solution to defeating his enemy who just beat him at cards…….is to pick up a dinner knife and cut him. That’s a man’s man.
2) Charlton Heston’s Moses - yeah, you think i’m crazy but watch The Ten Commandments. If it were made today, the tagline would be “don’t fuck with Moses”. The man is the friggin right arm of God. He’s a man’s man.
3) Errol Flynn’s Robin Hood - Who says a man’s man shouldn’t have some charm as well. This guy can kill anyone, woo anyone, and he has the sharpest tongue in cinema history. He’s my kind of man.
24. Klendathu replies at 16th November 2007, 1:05 pm :
John, what about The Kurgan?!
25. stefan replies at 16th November 2007, 1:25 pm :
Where the hell is Han Solo?!
26. Rafa1215 replies at 16th November 2007, 1:44 pm :
The toughest guys are the seven in “The Magnificent Seven” from 1960.
27. John Hitchy replies at 16th November 2007, 2:24 pm :
This was an excellent piece of writing, John. Great list.
28. Frankie J replies at 16th November 2007, 9:33 pm :
Indy is so much cooler than Tony
29. Kristina replies at 17th November 2007, 1:12 am :
Han Solo is NOT manly. He basically hands Leia his balls on a silver platter in Jedi. Watch that movie again and see what a little bitch he is, and then try and say with a straight face that Han Solo is a man’s man. NOPE.
Indy should be on here before a goddamn cartoon Beowulf, who PRETENDS to be a badass man, but in fact, his entire legend is a damn lie based on him boning a hot demon with a freaky hairdo. Screwing your way to the top doesn’t make you a man’s man in my book. Beowulf is a FRAUD who has no business being included on this list.
James Bond isn’t a man’s man either. This list is for rough, tough badass men, not fruitcakes running around in suits who pose with their guns and order their drinks like a damn college girl. If Bond was a real man, he wouldn’t sit there and listen to EVERY SINGLE SUPERVILLAIN YAP ON AND ON ABOUT HIS DASTARDLY PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION. He’d just beat the guy’s ass and be done with it.
30. jan replies at 17th November 2007, 6:26 am :
I would just like to repeat the question …. Where is ASH FROM EVIL DEAD ????
He would have kicked all of thous asses
31. John replies at 17th November 2007, 6:28 am :
Where is Ash?
I love Ash… but if you watch the movies he’s got a bit of a coward streak to him too sometimes. It’s part of what makes him so likable… but pushes him far below the characters on this list
32. Crackpotpress replies at 18th November 2007, 12:00 pm :
Uh, so you like movies about Gladiators do ya?
Okay… there are a few REAL men that you have left out.. sure some maybe supporting but please…
Capt. Hilts (Steve McQueen Great Escape)
Don Corleone (Marlon Brando, The Godfather)
Indiana Jones
Mr. White (Reservoir Dogs)
and not a single SAM JACKSON or LEE MARVIN character?
c’mon kid…
C’mon
33. oldshell replies at 19th November 2007, 10:12 am :
Has anyone seen Eastern Promises? The main guy in that is one of the most manly men of all time. The naked bath fight scene says it all.
Also that film is frickin awesome
34. Kristina replies at 19th November 2007, 10:40 am :
Yup, Nikolai from Eastern Promises is pretty damn badass.
35. Jordan replies at 24th November 2007, 12:50 pm :
Why I feel that Dirty Harry needs to be higher, and King Leonidas needs to be lower:
Dirty Harry barely ever raises his voice. He carries an air of “I’m a bad ass, and I don’t need to prove it.” Just the way he talks, the way he relates to people, the way he shoots a suspect in the leg from 50 yards and then steps on his leg while interrogating him, you SEE that he’s a manly man.
However, King Leonidas can’t go three lines without yelling something at the top of his lungs. It’s effective sometimes, yes, but it ultimately sounds like a plea for validity. Like he’s trying to prove that he’s a bad ass, as opposed to simply BEING one. Not to say that he didn’t prove it through the movie, but his persistant yelling sounds almost like he lacks complete confidence in himself.
-JD