In the spirit of Halloween, our friends over at Film Junk made a really fun short movie that they filmed in one day) called “The Running Tunnel”. It’s directed by Jay Cheel (editor of The Documentary Blog), who also worked with me on Prince of Peace - God of War. Check it out:

Film Junk Presents…’The Running Tunnel’ from Jay Cheel on Vimeo.

Despite a lot of contraversy, I am actually looking forward to a G.I. Joe Movie. Not just because I watched the cartoon every day after school, but that it seems Hollywood is willing to toss big budgets at 80s cartoon remakes after the success of Transformers. This gives me a fair bit of faith in G.I. Joe.

So when I heard rumours of Mark Wahlberg being involved we instantly thought he would be Duke, but the rumours have it that another actor is aiming to show us how good he looks in Duke’s beret. George Clooney.

FilmJunk helps spread this rumour:

He recently dropped out of Joe Carnahan’s White Jazz due to a scheduling conflict, and according to IESB the reason is that he is eager to get himself back into a blockbuster, pronto. Specifically, sources say that he is in talks to star as Duke in the upcoming G.I. Joe feature film.

Now the role of Duke just HAS to go to an actor with enough personality and attitude to fill the army boots of G.I. Joe’s feild commander. I think Clooney would be pretty damned good in that role.

I am reminded of Clooney’s role in Peacemaker or Three Kings that makes him such a believable soldier with all the attitude and charm that would make him shouting “YO JOE!!” not sound so cheesey.

I like Clooney a lot, and I can forgive him for things like Batman and Robin. So I think this might just be the ticket to get him out of that artsy serious crowd and score him a few points on the popularity meter!

Likely just after the first Heavy Metal movie, I would have to say that Akira is likely the movie that was most inspirational to me in the area of animated film for the awesome visuals and intense storytelling. Ever since I heard mumblings that they were going to attempt a live action Akira movie I was excited and worried at the same time.

With a little bit of progress, we catch that ComingSoon.net found out:

Warner Bros. Pictures has hired Oscar-nominated Irish director Ruairi Robinson to helm the big screen Akira adaptation. Robinson received a nomination in 2001 for his animated short film Fifty Percent Grey.

Now I honestly don’t know much about this guy, though he seems to come with some acclaim, so I have little hope that this project is in good hands. I checked out the short film Fifty Percent Grey and it is pretty amusing and thought provoking in its delivery, however that is such a different world of storytelling than a live action feature film.

This is such a massive undertaking to attempt to bring life to a movie so deeply set in the minds of Anime fans as an untouchable classic. Then to take it live action makes me wonder just HOW they are going to pull this off and not ruin it all. This guy seems to have a notable history with computer animation, but how this will translate over to directing a feature length live action film?

This reminds me of a certain movie that shall-not-be-named, and its producer’s insistence that some fancy effects specialist be giving the big comfy seat helming another movie of epic fanbase. And we all know how confident we are in that project.

It is no secret around here that despite the doubts on every Bond fan’s lips, have have all grown to LOVE Daniel Craig as the younger, edgier, badass-er James Bond. Well it would appear that we are not the only ones with complete faith in Craig as Bond

ComingSoon.net reports:

MGM chairman and CEO Harry Sloan confirmed to The Hollywood Reporter that the studio has signed Daniel Craig to do four more “James Bond” movies, which will put his total at five, including Casino Royale and the upcoming Bond 22.

I am pretty happy with this news, as it doesn’t just mean that we will be seeing more of Craig as Bond, but rather it keeps up with the current story arc that we will be seeing a younger Bond.

We have already seen Bond be Bond for 20 films. Its about time we saw a little more character developement that got him to where the rest of the actors got to portray him. I like seeing him ballsier, flawed and even a little vulnerable.

I also like seeing him without all the silliness we have been “treated to” in the last decade of Bonds.

Just in time for Halloween, Time Magazine’s Top 25 Horror Films list comes out. And while I agree with most of it, I was surprised to see BAMBI on that list at #5. Bambi!!

CinemaFusion says:

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Pinocchio, Dumbo all exploited childhood traumas. Parents disappear or die; stepmothers plot the murder of their charges; a boy skips school and turns into a donkey. Kids were so frightened by these films that they wet themselves in terror.

If you think about it, many of the Fairy Tales we were exposed to as kids were pretty horrific. Hansel and Gretel are almost eaten by the witch in the candy house. Little Red Riding Hood was lured into potential tragedy long before pedophiles stalked AOL chat rooms. And even lullabies told stories of babies in swings waiting for the “bow to break, and the baby will fall, down will go baby, cradle and all.” Who thought that would put you to SLEEP???

Holy crap! Why am I not scarred horribly!!

Well in the immortal words of Bart Simpson watching violent cartoons with his squeemish sister, “Lisa, don’t look away. How else will our minds become desensitized to violence?”

One of the most potentially epic remakes of an 80s show would be He-Man: Master’s of the Universe. I was always a fringe He-Man fan when I was a kid. My friends all had the toys, but I was more obsessed with Star Wars so those figures trumped He-Man toys when it was allowance time. But still after the feeble attempt at a live action He-Man film in the late 80s, I think it is due time to bring out a tribute to that show that would do it justice.

Comics2Film offers us this video, which is one of the animatics (re:not fully animated) takes that would show some style and potential for a He-Man movie. I think this would have rocked in a live action effects movie.

Animatics for live-action He Man

Now try and imagine that in full featured live action glory. I especially like the end when you are waiting for Prince Adam to grow a pair and say “I HAVE THE POWER” and Skeletor says it instead.

So cool

Here is all the key movie news going on today:

• Owen Wilson Speaks For First Time Publicly Since Suicide Attempt - Useless
  Wilson and Wes Anderson just talked about their new movie and didn’t mention the suicide attempt once, which made the whole interview pointless… because the looming issue distracted the viewers from anything else that was being said anyway.

• Wonder Woman Movie Dead Again
  Joel Silver, who was producing the now-stalled Wonder Woman movie, told reporters that the project has been placed on the back burner in light of another impending superhero film. “They’re going to make the Justice League movie, and we’re kind of pausing on Wonder Woman now,”

• Wedding Crashers and Fred Claus director David Dobkin Takes Over The Flash
  Apparently it will be the same Flash that will be in the Justice League movie. But David Dobkin? Is Flash now going to be a silly comedy?

• Everwood creator Greg Berlanti to Direct Green Lantern
  Actually, one of the more fascinating characters in the DC universe. Looks like they’re going with the Hal Jordon Green Lantern

• Cusack, youngster shine in uneven “Martian Child”
  I’ll give anything Cusack does a chance, and even without him, this movie looks fantastic

• Paris Hilton’s “The Hottie and the Nottie”
  Oh dear sweet merciful crap…. can the Chinese just please hurry up and take over the world

• U2 3D Picked Up by National Geographic
  A new U2 concert film has been picked up. I loved Rattle and Hum, and this one goes further by being all in 3D (quick useless fact: “Where the Streets Have No Name” is my all time favorite song)

• Lohan Family To Star in Reality Show
  No really… I’m begging… please… for the love of all that is good and holy can the Chinese just hurry up and take over the world!

• Peter Jackson FIRED Ryan Gosling
  More reports that Gosling didn’t walk away from “Lovely Bones”, but rather he was being really difficult and Peter Jackson fired him 2 days before shooting was supposed to start. I have been less than thrilled with how Jackson has conducted himself the last 2 years, but GOOD FOR HIM FOR FIRING GOSLING if this is true. Hey Ryan, I like you very much as an actor, but don’t let one Oscar nomination go to your head. You’re nothing but an actor, and when you’re on set, you shut your mouth and do your job… the director is in charge and your job is to help fulfill HIS vision… not bring your own.

• Kung Fu Panda Teaser Trailer
  And I really just don’t care

• Josh Lucas As Captain Pike In Star Trek?
  There has been very little news about the new Star Trek movie that has given me much hope… but some of the casting for the film has been pretty visionary… and if this is true, Josh Lucas as Captain Pike would be a pretty sweet move.

• Brett Ratner is NOT Directing the Escape from New York Remake
  I can hear large sighs of relief across the whole globe. I personally don’t dislike Ratner as much as most people, but I never thought he was a good fit for this project.

• Six Reasons to Upgrade to HD-DVD or Blu-ray
  An article by my friend Sean over at Filmjunk. I totally disagree with him on this 100%, but it’s a well thought out different point of view that’s worth looking at.

• Mario Van Peebles Does Uniter“Mario Van Peebles has signed on to direct his sci-fi screenplay The Uniter, which Don Kushner and Brad Wyman (Monster) are producing.The Uniter chronicles the journey of a political fugitive who escapes from the future back to the present to teach a 13-year-old how to use his powers to unite the warring factions of the world before it’s too late for planet Earth.”

• William Shatner Still Peeved He’s Not in New ‘Star Trek’ Film
  So are a lot of other people Shatz my man. But as much as I’ve become a fan of Shatner in his later years… if the story doesn’t call for you, then you shouldn’t be in there. Characters should serve the story… not the other way around.

• Applause For In-Movie Advertising
  Another article I 100% disagree with… but also well thought out and a different point of view worth checking out.

• Brad Bird talks 1906
  Director of The Incredibles and Ratatouille hints at his next project.

• Battlestar Galactica on the big screen
  This is an amazing idea. “he new Battlestar Galactica telemovie, Razor, will premiere in theatres before airing on TV sometime next month in America, according to Variety. Best of all, it won’t cost you a cent to see it at the movies! The theatre showings, which are completely free, take place Nov. 12 in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Boston, Dallas and Seattle. Two weeks later the telemovie will air on the Sci Fi Channel in the states. The special two-hour episode “Razor”, which will serve as a backdrop for the events of season four of Battlestar Galactica, tells the story of Lee Adama’s first mission as the commander of the battlestar Pegasus — and the harrowing tale of that ship’s desperate fight for survival in the immediate aftermath of the Cylon’s genocidal siege of the Twelve Colonies.”

• Juno wins top prize at Roma film festival
  All of my critic friends who have seen Juno just rave about it. I’m dying to see this thing.

Since I had been concentrating all my time on watching the horror films at the festival, I decided to switch it up a little and watch the martial arts film deemed to be the most expensive movie Vietnam has ever made called ‘The Rebel.’ The film takes place in the 1920’s when the French government occupied Vietnam. Le Van Cuong (played by the handsome and talented Johnny Nguyen) is an agent working for the French and grows a conscience one day when he kills a young teenage assassin. After that incident, he is confronted with another moral dilemma when he is supposed to torture a captured daughter of a rebel leader for information on where he is. It is then Le Van Cuong realizes to stop being a traitor to his country anymore and save the girl. Action, mayhem, romance, and me drooling over Johnny Nguyen ensues.

THE GOOD

Two words. Johnny Nguyen.(a.k.a. “The man actually behind the Spider-Man costume in the ‘Spider Man’ series) For me, this film could have been complete garbage, and I still would have came out of the theatre with a huge grin on my face, and eagerly anticipating when I was going to go on IMDB and look for any other films featuring this incredibly sexy and super talented man. He is the writer/producer/choreographer and star of this film, and he you can definitely see the passion he conveys on screen, for this is his dream project.

Another actor in this movie that deserves a shout out is Dustin Nguyen who plays Sy, the strong and seemingly invincible antagonist of the film. He played the role so cold and so viciously, but was able to also provide a little humor to Sy as well. Everytime he was onscreen, he stole the show, and his fighting skills are VERY impressive.

The fighting sequences were jam packed in this film, and most people were cheering when there was a great move displayed on screen. The ending however featured the best fighting sequences and blew my mind and were also quite impressive.

THE BAD

Throw in plenty of spinning cyclone moves for the men, and hypnotising smoldering looks from Johnny Nguyen for the women, and the audience is distracted from realizing that they’re in fact watching a mediocre film.

Except for the ending, the fight sequences in the movie were not very extraordinary and were not at all as mind-blowing as I thought they would be.

Additionally, the romance sub-plot in this film was quite laughable, because the two leads lacked any real chemistry whatsoever. (This is especially apparent in their dull and lackluster love scene together)

Although the most negative point for me in this film was the fact it expected its audience to be historical scholars. Most of the audience (myself included) did not know why the French were invading Vietnam, and because the film does not inform us why, it made many scenes very confusing and incomprehensible at times. A simple explanation during the opening credits would have easily fixed this problem.

OVERALL

‘The Rebel’ may not be breaking new ground when it comes to martial arts films, but it was filled with a lot of passion and hard work, and it looked great. (It would have even looked better if we were lucky enough to see it on the 35 mm print that was unfortunately stuck at customs at the time.) Although, it wasn’t absent of major flaws, it still was far more superior than recent mainstream martial arts films. Looking foward to the next Johnny Nguyen picture! ;) I give this film a rating of 6.5 out 10

The first Underworld movie was a project stuffed to the teeth with potential. I mean come on… at the time who didn’t want to see a movie about a war between vampires and werewolves with a hot as nuclear fire Kate Beckinsale wearing tight black leather?

The movie didn’t misfire… but at the same time it didn’t really come close to its potential either. I enjoyed Underworld, but I couldn’t help but feel it was something of a missed opportunity as well. Then came Underworld 2. Well… the 4 words giant, sack, of and shit all come to mind. What could have been their opportunity to build on the strengths of the first film, instead built on the weaknesses of the first film leaving us with nothing but a befuddled mess of plot holes, uninteresting characters and bland cliches.

However… even as bad as Underworld 2 was, you could still see the elements of a potential GREAT movie in there. The building blocks are all there. A terrific mythology to work off of, a smooth sense of style and some AMAZING characters (Viktor, played brilliantly by Bill Nighy is probably my all time favorite movie Vampire character). What they need, and what they have been lacking is some solid narrative to shape all these great elements into a memorable film. The narrative to this point has been weak… but the rich individual elements are still there… and so… I’ve always been open to the notion of another Underworld film. And here it comes…

Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans looks (on the surface anyway) like a film that will finally really play to the franchises strengths. Our good friends over at FilmJunk give us this:

Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans is going to be a prequel (couldn’t you tell by the word “Rise” in the title?), and neither director Len Wiseman nor his wife Kate Beckinsale are directly involved (although Wiseman is producing). Instead, creature FX artist/production designer Patrick Tatopoulos will be making his directorial debut, with Michael Sheen (Lucian), Bill Nighy (Viktor) and Rhona Mitra set to star. The story will focus on Lucian’s role in the Lycan uprising over their Death Dealer masters, shifting the perspective of the series to the werewolves instead of the vampires.

Call me naively optimistic, but this all sounds like they’re at least heading in the right direction. Does that mean the movie will be good? Obviously not, but the potential is still there. Even in the absence of Beckinsale, I think an Underworld movie focusing on the mythology of the war and the characters of Lucian and Viktor is a HUGE step in the right direction. I am not only optimistic about it… but excited about it too! Let’s see how it turns out.

It would appear that relative nobody Teresa Palmer has officially landed the coveted role of Wonder Woman in the new Teen Titans movie….. Oops! Justice League movie.

Coming Soon reports:

The Grudge 2, December Boys and Wolf Creek star Teresa Palmer has landed the role of Wonder Woman in George Miller’s anticipated Justice League adaptation at Warner Bros.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I think this girl will fit the whole younger hip Justice League that Miller is forcing upon us. They are catering to the teen market, not those who actually KNOW who the Justice League are.

But still, this rubs me wrong for this girl as WONDER WOMAN. Sure, if they are going for a Wonder Girl image then she might suit that flippantly ignorant ditzy younger counterpart to Wonder WOMAN.

Wonder Woman was invented with the sole purpose of presenting a STRONG independent bold role model for women. At the time she was introduced, the North American culture needed something like that. However, even dying Palmer’s hair brown wont make her Wonder Woman.

If they wanted a strong bold character and still fit the teen demographic they should have gone with the ever sexy and super confident Sophia Bush.

But they are determined to piss on this movie, so why not hire a scrawny blond to fill the wonder corset. Genius.

Mark Millar’s work on the Ultimates has gained him the critical acclaim that most comic book writers DREAM of. So when we heard the news that he wanted to pitch a treatment for a Superman Returns sequel, I thought this might be one of the best guys to do it. However, WB won’t touch him. The reason might surprise you.

SuperHeroHype.com quotes Mark Millar:

I’m a Marvel guy and we were surprised to find out that WB couldn’t hire me for a DC property. They were incredibly nice and superbly apologetic about it, but when they discussed the matter seriously DC explained just how associated I am with Marvel Comics at the moment and it’s against company policy to hire the competition. It’s absolutely nothing personal. I spoke to some friends at DC and they explained this has happened with a couple of big Marvel writers in the last couple of years and I absolutely respect that.

So despite his popularity and track record for writing quality superhero stories (something the franchise NEEDS) he gets shot down because he is sleeping with the enemy.

Its like getting fired from a job because you are overqualified. You still feel bad that you no longer have the job, but you can at least walk out the door with your head held high because you were released because you are too good for them.

Millar isn’t too good for Superman. He is just good for Marvel, and that counts against him.

Thanks to Joel who pointed us at this article this morning.

USA Today reports:

It will be money well spent if they can pull off the latest AVP, in which an alien that bursts from a predator’s body, or a “predalien,” leads the war as the creatures descend on a small Colorado town.

OK, so it’s not Fellini. But the Strause brothers, who made their names overseeing the visual effects on such movies as The Day After Tomorrow and 300, say the franchises have a mythology that still resonates with audiences — old and young.

I like that they are attempting to bring the old school Aliens suspense and horror back into the franchise, but I am having difficulty seeing how that theme will fit into smalltown middle America.

I think it is a little silly to have a blending of the predators and the aliens just because an alien hatched in the predator’s body. I always thought the alien’s host body from which it hatched was simply to keep the egg warm until it was ready to tear itself free of its host. Now apparently they borrow DNA. And dreds.

I have been burned by the previous AVP movie after they made such a big stink in promotions with the age old question “WHO WOULD WIN?” and the internet was a buzz with theories and explainations. Unfortunately I predicted the winner, and it was the humans who really won.

I would prefer this NOT be on earth at all and have no humans involved. Instead smalltown Colorado is going to get front row seats to this fight, and surely there will be a human element that will somehow triumph over both species. We are apparently more resourceful than two races bred for combat.

Hopefully this new installment will actually feature more Pred on Alien violence. Maybe they will kill off the predalien while decimating the town eliminating all humans early and have that be why they are fighting in the first place.

(Just so you know, there are newer posts below, I’m just keeping this at the top of the page for the next couple of days)

Hey there guys. Well, my little journey is almost finished. Way back last February when I first announced my little documentary project “Prince of Peace - God of War”, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, and I thought I would be mocked resoundingly. But instead, you guys were constantly cheering me on and encouraging me for which you will never know the true depth of my gratitude.

And now, I’m finally able to announce that we are now taking pre-orders for the DVD which will ship November 24th. We’re only having a limited number of DVDs made (cause I can only afford to have so many made) and I wanted to make sure they were made available to the Movie Blog International Friends first.

Thanks again for all your support, and thanks in advance for ordering 20 copies each to use as stocking stuffers! Oh, and a VERY special thanks to Gordon, who even before I put this post up became the very first person to order the Prince of Peace - God of War dvd!

You can order your copy of Prince of Peace - God of War by going to the order page of the new official website (www.princeofpeacegodofwar.com)

I have been hearing about ‘Simon Says’ for actually a couple of years now, and because of that I was very curious about checking this one out at the festival. The movie is about a group of five teenagers who unfortunately take the advice of two psychotic twins (both played by Crispin Glover) and end up on a campsite and become prey to the twins (Simon and Stanley) who like to play a deadly game of “Simon Says.” If you don’t say ‘Simon Says,’ you DIE! So is this a good horror movie? Serena says, “HELL NO!”

THE GOOD

The film is full of the most creative and inventive kills I have seen in a long time. In fact, when the horror begins, it actually made me (and most of the audience) jump in surprise, due to the fact no one expected such well done jumpers and gore effects for such a laughable slasher flick. (Gotta love that doomed pooch kill!)

The sound and score was sharp during the kill sequences, and had especially well done CGI effects for a trap involving flying pick axes. This is what made the film a much better experience than anticipated.

THE BAD

I can’t decipher whether the screenwriter of this script was incredibly lazy or that he thought the audience for this film would be incredibly stupid. The characters in this film are completely one note, and make actors in really bad 80’s slashers look like true thespians. We get the stoner, the jock, the slut, the prude, and the survivor girl. All the dialogue was laughable, the so-called plot twist was extremely obvious from the first 15 minutes, and I couldn’t wait until Simon or Stanley took each of them out in the order I and the rest of the audience predicted.

While watching Crispin Glover onscreen in this horribly bad horror film, I had the sudden urge to jump in the screen, pull him out, and put him in a headlock “Biff-style” and shout out, “THINK, McFLY, THINK!” For a man who turned down appearing in‘Back to the Future Part 2’ because it wasn’t deep enough, and only appeared in the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ movies to get the money to finance his own film, I could only imagine what the filmmakers had on him to appear in this low-budget horror film that made me appreciate the ‘Friday the 13th’ sequels a lot more.

Crispin Glover played the twins way over the top. He played Stanley with a ridiculous Southern accent, and he played Simon with a voice that sounded exactly like the old pervert in the ‘Family Guy’ series. Although it was painful to watch such a popular cult favorite actor subject himself to such a project, he still was the most amusing part of the film.

OVERALL

Despite having a lot of embarrassing moments in the film, ‘Simon Says’ surprising still made for an entertaining watch. (I still can’t believe the man responsible for ‘Harry and the Hendersons’ and ‘Angels in the Outfield’ was also responsible for this!) Simon says watch this movie with your friends. Simon says bring your flask. Simon says prepare yourself for tons of laughter. This is a great horror movie. Wait! I didn’t say ‘Simon Says.’ ;) I give this film a rating of 4 out of 10.

This was too funny not to share. The Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie may have been a total failure (oh man, I can’t even begin to tell you how disappointed I was with that movie… it wasn’t even as good as 90% of the shows… such a let down), but there is no denying that the Aqua Teens have left their mark on history.

1-31-07 will forever remind us just how freaking stupid, delusional and paranoid we as a society really have become. And that’s just another reason to be grateful to the Aqua Teens.

So have you been one of those optimistic few holding out some kind of naive hope that the Justice League movie they’re working on might actually turn out to be any good? Despite the fact it’s only being made to be a launching pad for the lesser heroes like Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern ect.., despite the fact that it’s being directed by a 62 year old guy who has only directed 2 films in the last 20 years (Happy Feet and Babe), despite the fact that they’re turing the Justice League into the Teen Titans by casting baby face actors who generally play teenagers, despite the fact that it’s going to be running concurrently with the already existing Batman and Superman franchises but with different actors………. are you one of those brave optimistic few?

Well add another item to that “Why Justice League Is Doomed” list. Seems like George Miller is going to be working on 2 other movies AT THE SAME TIME as he’s working on Justice League. Happy Feet 2 and Mad Max 4. The good folks over at Moviehole give us this:

“[Mad Max 4] Fury Road” has finally got a greenlight, with pre-production commencing immediately. It sounds as if Miller will be working on this film, and “Justice League” concurrently – the latter is also set up at Fox Studios – as well as…. “Happy Feet 2”. Yep, work has also begun – albeit slowly – on a sequel to Milller’s uber-successful penguin flick but since the first one took four years to make don’t look for this one in theatres anytime soon.

He even speculates that ‘’Mad Max 4 : Fury Road’’ will be released before “Justice League”… but that’s a guess based on how fast the former seems to be moving forward

This is becoming comical. Yes, there are directors who have worked on multiple project before at the same time… but often with bad results… and rarely 2 in actual production at the same time. A film like Justice League, with the scale that they say its going to be on… and all those different major characters requires his full attention. Clearly, Justice League does not have Miller’s full attention. Am I saying it CAN’T be done? No I’m not… but what I am saying is that dividing his attention between 3 films in development at the same time… and maybe even in full production at the same time greatly reduces the odds of something good coming out of this.

So how about it? You STILL one of those faithful few who have hope in this flick? I’m not.

Now this is a fantastic idea for a movie. Who among us hasn’t as some point wanted to take a shotgun and blast the hell out of one of those cars out on the street that has it’s damn annoying alarm going off in the middle of the day, at 5am in the morning, or just as you’re trying to go to bed? I know I have.

So here comes along this little film called “Noise“. The folks over at Yahoo give us this:

“Noise,” Bean’s provocative second film, casts Tim Robbins as David, an upper-class family man driven insane by New York’s loud sounds — grinding garbage trucks, horns honking, back-up beepers and worst of all, car alarms squealing at all hours. He becomes so obsessed with noise that he turns into a black-clad vigilante, “The Rectifier,” waging his own crusade on those damn alarms shattering his quiet.

Genius! It’s actually sort of based on real life events for Director Henry Bean who says he’s actually broken into cars to shut their alarms off, gotten arrested for and spent nights in jail. To me… this man is a hero.

Having a performer like Tim Robbins in it is nothing but good news for the movie. I can already see Robbins’ face slowly starting to go crazy with automotive blood lust as he tries to sleep and some stupid car alarm screeches in the night like a cat getting violated by a Water Buffalo.

Now, if they could just make a movie called “ADS” about a man who goes insane with rage because of being subjected to 20 minutes of commercials every time he goes to see a movie… that would have ‘Oscar” written all over it!

There is just no getting around it… The Dirty Dozen is just one hell of a movie. A man’s man movie. A film really reflective of a different era, but breathtaking nonetheless even today. I didn’t see The Dirty Dozen for the first time until about 5 years ago, and my jaw just hung open almost he entire time. It’s not the type of movie you can do today… well… at least not right.

Word has been going around (and apparently now confirmed) that Guy Ritchie (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch) is taking the big chair to direct the Dirty Dozen remake. Our friends over at IESB give us the following:

The British Master of Bullets and Cheeky Bastards is set to round up a Dozen Dirty men and lead them off into combat. ImageWhile promoting the US Release of Revolver Guy confirmed a few quick items to our IESB crew.

1. He confirmed the rumor that he’s the man taking The Dirty Dozen to the lens.

I LOVE Ritchie as a director, and the original Dirty Dozen is magnificent, and I’m generally ok with doing remakes… but this doesn’t fit. First of all, the script doesn’t happen in World War 2…it happens in modern day where a group of Islamist extremists kiddnap some girl, and a rich daddy recruits a bunch of convicts to rescue her with the promise of freedom if they survive the mission. WHAT?!?!

More than most people I understand and appreciate the need for contextual adaptation… but this is NOT The Dirty Dozen. The pulse… nay… THE LIFE BLOOD of the original was its characters, its misogynist, bigoted, vulgar, balls hanging out characters and I’m sorry, but in a modern context you’ll NEVER be able to do those characters right. The guys in The Dirty Dozen made the Spartans in 300 look like a bunch of pussies. And they’re off to rescue a girl?!?!?! Please. In the original their mission was simple… GO KILL LOTS OF NAZIS YOU BAD ASSES!

I’m fine with remakes… but this is no remake. This is just another movie with the same title and one shared concept (prisoners offered freedom if they do something risky). And even with Guy Ritchie at the helm, I don’t have any faith in a project like this.

Remakes of classic movies/tv shows/cartoons/books are very tempting to a Hollywood studio for obvious reasons. There is name recognition for the general public, in many cases the source material is pretty rich often with iconic type character, and generally proven type-structure is already there. Sometimes this adaption is pretty successful and highly profitable… but can it be done with The Lone Ranger?

Apparently, Terry Rossio and Ted Elliott (the guys who wrote Pirates of the Caribbean) have been developing an adaptation of The Lone Ranger for none other than Jerry Bruckheimer to produce. The good folks over at Cinematical give us this:

According to the report, the studio won’t confirm the assignment, so they can only go by their sources, and as HI describes it, the writing duo is “trying to create a new juggernaut for Bruckheimer to exploit.” Sure, they made pirates all the rage, but can they do the same with cowboys?

I remember various re-run incarnations of The Lone Ranger on TV when I was a kid. I do remember having fun watching it, but it never made that much of an impression on me. There is no denying the pure name recognition… but the reality is that’s all it is… recognition. People in my age range and younger never grew up on The Lone Ranger (unlike say… Transformers).

And if Bruckheimer is looking for a blockbuster… the western genre hasn’t exactly been pulling them into the theaters. Even a magnificent film like 3:10 To Yuma couldn’t generate much. Sure there was Wild Wild West back in 1999 that took in over $110 million, but that was really capitalizing on a Will Smith lead who was at the the height of his popularity fresh off Independence Day and Men In Black… and yes there was Unforgiven… but that was an Oscar winner and over 15 years ago.

So yes, a Lone Ranger movie would probably be worth a shot, but if Bruckheimer is looking for his next major blockbuster… I think he looking in the wrong place. Guess we’ll wait and see.

You know, if it wasn’t for the fact that the upcoming “Hitman” film was a video game based movie, I might actually be really looking forward to it. No, the trailers haven’t exactly been inspiring… no, the casting isn’t exactly perfect… but the sense I’m getting from it has a nice feel to it. But who are we kidding… it’s a video game movie and thus will be worthless. Someday a video game movie will come along and break that stigma, and perhaps Hitman will be that movie… but until it happens I won’t allow myself to get suckered in by them.

That all being said, the good folks over at ComingSoon give us this new international Hitman Poster. Not bad, not great… looks more like a video game cover to me really. Nice dress though.

On the third night of the festival, I had the “pleasure” to watch Lloyd Kaufman’s (of TROMA entertainment) horror-comedy, Poultrygeist: Night of The Chicken Dead.
The film is about a chicken fast food restaurant which is built on an Indian burial ground and the spirits have possessed the chickens and are turning everyone into “chicken zombies”

Since I was a little girl, I have always wanted to watch TROMA films like ‘The Toxic Avenger,’ but my mother always forbid me to watch them. I never understood that because I was able to watch tons of other horror films. After watching Poultrygeist….now I know why.

THE GOOD

The only redeeming remark I can say about this film is that the make up effects were great for a horror indie. It definitely pleased the TROMA fans, and by far the goriest film I have seen in recent history. Yup….that’s all the good I can say. Now on to the bad.

THE BAD

I cannot express how I felt about all the negative things about this film, so I will just point out just a few scenarios the audience is “treated” to.

-A character’s insides are torn out from his ass
-A character’s testicles are torn off, and then fried and eaten
-We see a chicken zombie ejaculating on someone’s face
-We see from a toilet camera an obese man crapping in the toilet, and spewing excrement all over the bathroom floor
-We see a threesome on the fast food restaurant floor
-A severed penis ends up in someone’s food
-The film is filled with every racial and discriminatory slur you could think of
Now can you understand why I couldn’t express ALL my feelings toward the bad?

OVERALL

I have watched many horror films in my time. Never has any movie challenged my gag reflex as much as ‘Poultrygeist’ had. It is by far the most offensive, most shocking, and most sickening film I’ve ever had to sit through. If you are not a fan of TROMA or have not watched any of their films, I suggest you stay FAR away from this one! This movie is definitely an acquired taste (like bean juice) and I unfortunately will never forget the images that were shown onscreen. Every vile and disgusting thing you can think of was in ‘Poultrygeist.’ Troma fans have fun! Everybody else, bring your barf bags! I give this film a rating of 1 out of 10 AND on a TROMA-meter scale, I give this film a 10 out of 10. ;)

The idea of a “Spy Hunter” movie is a fun one once you consider that The Rock was going to be leading it. No, it never appeared to have a settled script. No, it never even got close to being in production. No, no other names were ever attached… but damn it… The Rock was in it and was talking it up for years. If nothing else, the project had that going for it. Well… not anymore. The Rock has finally left the Spy Hunter project.

Our friends over at FilmJunk give us this:

The Rock is no longer a part of the project. Either his contract expired, or he simply moved on to bigger and better things. Regardless, it’s probably a good thing for The Rock, but I have to wonder why they’d even continue moving forward with the film at this point. I was never sold on the concept to begin with; even though I used to love the game and a Spy Hunter movie would give you an excuse to showcase a cool tricked out sports car, I don’t know that there could ever be a decent story behind it no matter how many rewrites you do.

This project has been a fumbled mess… rewrites, losing directors… and now losing the lead guy who has been the only reason the project had any buzz whatsoever. All performers are replaceable… but this project has been hinging on The Rock being in it… and it seemed like the perfect fit. At the end of the day it was still going to be a video game movie… so what chance did it really have anyway?

I say, just drop the damn project. It hasn’t gotten anywhere, it’s been a mess… just put it to bed for a few years and maybe revisit it later.

Rebooting seems to be all the craze of late. Nolan rebooting Batman. Battlestar Galactica rebooting on TV, The Hulk is doing it and Star Trek is even getting the treatment. Now there is a odd rumor going around (emphasis on RUMOR) that Marvel may be looking at giving the reboot treatment to Blade.

The folks over at Bloody Disgusting give us the following:

there’s a reboot of the Blade franchise in the works. He explains that it’s something that the comic property wants, not necessarily New Line Cinema (who might not even be involved.)

When I first heard about this, I instantly rolled my eyes. But upon further reflection… I started to think… WHY NOT? Think about it for a minute. Blade’s 1 and 2 were both great fun little films (I thought 2 was the better of the pair) and most people agree taht Blade 3 was an embarrassment of biblical proportions. It was so bad that New Line ditched their plans for spinning off a Night Stalker series… because NOTHING could be salvaged from the mess that was Blade 3.

But now Marvel is into doing their own thing… they’ve got their own film division now and don’t need New Line or anybody else for that matter… and Blade is still a good property. The current series went to shit… so just do it over! It really seems to be working for Hulk despite only being out a couple of years ago… and I can’t see why it wouldn’t work out for Blade as well.

Just… for the love of all that is good and holy… DO NOT bring in “Sticky Fingaz” as Blade (he was the lead character in the short lived and ill conceived Blade TV show).

I didn’t see it working at first really. Will Smith in I Am Legend looked like a bit of a lame idea to me… but I’m actually one of those people who think Smith gets too much of a bad rap and that he’s a much more capable actor than most give him credit for (that doesn’t mean a lot of his movies don’t suck… but he’s pretty solid most of the time).

But the more and more I’ve been seeing of I Am Legend, I’ve got to admit I’m getting a little more jacked about seeing it. Now this new full trailer has poured out onto the web… and I kinda like it. Take a look for yourself:

A touching story about 4 men stricken with tourette’s who have become lost, until one man comes to give them hope. (thanks to Dan for the heads up)

Hellboy is one of my favourite comics to film efforts made to date. Of course Hellboy was a much lesser known comic so a LOT of people didn’t even realize it was a comic book movie. Still I enjoyed it a great deal. So when I found out they were making a sequel, I was pretty excited.

StalePopcorn passes this on:

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army is one of my most anticipated flicks of the upcoming year, and the website is now live, with a nice welcome note from Guillermo Del Toro, even nicer artwork, and a few pictures and video blogs here and there.

So now we are just ONE step closer to seeing this movie come to life. The animated features have been keeping my appetite fed for now, but I really want to see this movie happen now.

Clearly Del Toro knows how to cater to the fanboy as these are JUST the kind of sneak peeks we want to see.

Check out the Hellboy2 website here

Automaton Transfusion was one of the most highly anticipated films at the festival due to the fact it was screened right after Toronto’s famous ZOMBIE WALK. I was surrounded by overly excited zombies in the theatre who were eager to see the film. Needless to say, it made for some crazy photo ops. (*Which you will be able to see later this week in my wrap-up coverage of the fest)

The horror movie (which was picked up by Dimension Extreme Films) is about a small group of teenagers who have their worlds turned upside down when reanimated corpses wreak havoc on their town, and they must fight to stay alive and to find a cure to end the flesh eating madness.

The zombie flick was miraculously shot for a low budget of 10,000 dollars. The film was able to please the zombies in the audience, (BIAS!) but was it able to please everybody else? Read on.

THE GOOD

The thing that astonished me the most about this movie were the very impressive make-up and special effects. Considering the extremely “even lower than Clerks” budget of the film, I was surprised that I had to turn away for some of the gore. (Gotta love that eye gauging “Fulci” homage!)

The filmmakers sure knew how to stretch that money, and it definitely paid off considering this film is the first installment in the already planned trilogy.

THE BAD

Unfortunately, everything else was a colossal and bloody mess. The acting and dialogue was not only ridiculous but also unintentionally funny. (For example, a guy calls his girlfriend ‘hooker’ as a pet name, and she laughs. WTF?!) Also, if you had motion sickness while watching ‘The Blair Witch Project,’ I suggest you stay FAR away from this movie. The camera (which looked like it was shot on digital) was shaking non stop throughout the ENTIRE film from start to finish.( It got to the point where I felt like I was watching an episode of ‘Cops.’ )

OVERALL

Despite the fact that there were a lot of negative qualities about this film, it is still a solid and impressive effort (from writer/director Steven C Miller) considering how amazingly low the budget was for this film. If the director had focused as much energy on casting and cinematography as he did with the zombies and gore effects, this could have been the next “miracle” film. Hopefully the next two films will have a bigger budget. I give this film a rating of 5 out of 10.

I rewatched my copy of Transformers on DVD last night after owning it for nearly an entire week. I forgot JUST how much I enjoyed that movie. I opted for the standard single disc edition despite the fancy two disc edition. Today I found out that Transformers sold 8.3 million copies in one week!!

FilmJunk reports:

Of course, these 8.3 million copies were made up of a number of exclusive versions for different retailers, including one from Target that came in a transforming case, and one from Wal-mart that came packaged with an animated prequel called Transformers: Beginnings. If you didn’t get your hands on the Wal-mart release but would still like to watch the prequel, it has recently found its way onto YouTube.

I only watched the first part (its broken up on YouTube) and I don’t feel bad about watching it online since the greedy bastards didn’t give us Canadians any of those special options like a transforming case or extra prequel.

Of course, I have to agree with the writer at FilmJunk who suggested that calling this “animated” was a bit of a stretch. Aside from having Peter Cullen do the voice over, there isn’t much about this collection of moving still images that made me think that this would be worth acquiring that particular edition.

If you enjoyed that then perhaps you are the kind of freak who thought that the Star Wars Christmas Special had “artistic value”.

I can’t say that I am that excited about Pixar’s next movie WALL•E but then there really hasn’t been much buzz around it anymore than showing a cute robot with a distorted digital voice looking into the stars. Hopefully we will see something soon that will give us something to get excited about. I tripped over links to some cross promotional buzz that apparently started about two weeks ago today. Which adds to my point that we just are not hearing much about it.

Pixar Animation said:

Some of you may not yet be aware of this viral marketing website related to the upcoming film, WALL•E. Head over to the Buy N Large Corporation to learn more about some of the possible robotic stars of the picture.

So the megacorp of Buy N Large is likely the organization that creates the robots in this Pixar effort, but we still don’t know if they will represent the badguys or the goodguys or ANYTHING at all.

There is also a collection of Retro Postcards themed around the movie too.

I have yet to be disappointed by a Pixar film so I still have big hopes for WALL•E, but this isn’t it yet.

The Toronto After Dark Film Festival started with a bang this year as it opened the festival with the highly talked about (amongst horror fans) horror indie, Mulberry Street. The film’s premise is extremely out there, for it’s about a group of eclectic individuals in a grimy New York apartment building who are fending for their lives as they are being attacked (and turning into) giant were-rats who are infesting the streets of New York City.

I have to admit something. I have something called suriphobia. For those who don’t know what is, it is the fear of mice. So you can imagine how I felt about watching a movie about GIANT RAT people. So did I freak out and nearly hyperventilate from my irrational fear, or did I ultimately enjoy myself with this highly inventive horror film? The answer is both.

THE GOOD

For a film about giant rat people zombies, this film sure had a lot of heart. Unlike most horror movies which would have focused primarily on the monsters and skimp out on the plot and be filled with disposable characters, Mulberry Street took its time (maybe too much time for some) developing characters, establishing relationships, and made the audience relate to the people in the movie LONG before the horror begins.

Another great thing about this film was its unpredictability when it came to which characters were going to triumph and become kick-ass exterminators, or become rat food. In fact, there were a few parts in the movie where main characters were picked off, letting the audience know that no one will be able to predict the longevity of the heroes/heroines, which the experience a much scarier one.

The acting was surprisingly impressive for a horror indie. Nick Damici (who plays the lead, Clutch) gave a strong performance as the courageous boxer/turned were-rat killer. All the other actors also were on the ball, (even the obviously stereo-typed roles) and it was a refreshing change to see.

THE BAD

Although the make up of the rat creatures were well done, the audience is rarely given any chance to witness them for longer than a split second, due to the constant shaking of the camera during the action sequences. While I understand the camera probably was moving fast to match the speed of the rat-like zombies, it still would have been nice to see more of them up close.

Another thing that also annoyed me was some of the clichéd and stupid mistakes some of the characters would make. Since we spend about a good half of the film getting to know these characters very well, I found it hard to believe that some of them would make stupid moves. (i.e. barricading yourself in the apartment, and then opening the door to see if the creatures are still out there.) Things like that sometimes took me out of the movie and made me roll my eyes.

OVERALL

Mulberry Street may take longer to start than it takes a insecure and drunken male virgin to find a woman’s G-spot, but when it finally “finds that spot” it is a very satisfying (and more importantly, relieving) experience from then on in, and ends with an unexpected climax. (hehehe) I recommend you all see this horror indie (well directed by Jim Mickle) and I hope you guys enjoy as much as I did.

I give this film a rating of 8 out of 10

*Catch Mulberry Street when it hits DVD this November 9, 2007.

One of the great things about movies is that they give a platform sometimes to telling great and important real life stories dealing with real life issues that deserve to be brought to our attention. This IS NOT one of those situations.

Apparently MTV and Paramount are looking at developing a movie based on the real life incident a couple of years ago where a kid at a school event (watching the Olympic torch go through their town) waited for the TV cameras to be on them and then opened up a giant banner reading “BONG HITS 4 JESUS”.

The banner got taken away from them by the principal, and the kid in question got suspended for 10 days for “promoting illegal Drug Use at a school function”. And rightly so.

The kid appealed to the superintendent… and lost. He then appealed to the board… and lost. He then appealed to the court… and lost. he then appealed to the appellate court… and WON. But then that got appealed to the Supreme Court… and he lost. Again, rightly so.

You see, this kid tried to make this whole thing a free speech issue and made himself out to be some holy crusader for free speech. But in reality he was just a smart ass kid who decided to be a smart ass and try to draw attention to himself. He got busted… and decided to try to draw more attention to himself by making a case out of it… and thankfully he lost.

Make no mistake, this who thing wasn’t about free speech. It was about a dumb ass kid being a smart ass at an official School Function, waved around a banner in front of TV cameras promoting illegal drug use, and he got suspended for it. GOOD. It’s mildly amusing that Paramount and MTV want to try to make a hero out of this half wit kid.

There are stories that deserve to be told. This isn’t one of them.

(You can read more about the original story here)
(Source: Cinematical)

From the folks over at MovieWeb:

The Los Angeles Comic Book and Sci Fi Convention will be the forum upon which Colin and Greg Strause present their film Aliens vs. Predator - Requiem to an audience for the first time. The two brothers will screen clips and discuss the making of the film, as well as take questions from members of the audience. This will all be happening on November 4th in the Shrine Hall at 1:00pm. The directors will even be on hand to sign autographs after the presentation is over.

There is a whole lot of optimism coming from people regarding this new Aliens vs. Predator film… probably really misplaced optimism, but it’s there nonetheless. I can’t help it… I’m one of those delusional people who thinks this thing looks like it has promise and JUST MIGHT deliver a solid fun time at the movies. I’m probably wrong and will be gnashing my teeth after watching it… but there is always hope. I might make a trip down to LA to see this… the whole convention looks like it would be fun. I should go. Anyone else going?

One thing you can’t accuse the new Marvel Studios of being is lazy. These folks have been going full steam ahead ever since their inception and with what looks like pretty good results so far. The new Hulk film looks amazing, Iron Man looks great… even everything we’ve heard from the Thor camp so far has been quite positive. But Captain America?

A report coming from the folks over at CHUD says that director Nick Cassavetes‘ mother was on a talk show and said her son was currently considering directing a Captain America movie. This makes sense since for the longest time it was Cassavetes who was attached to direct Iron Man.

In general I like Cassavetes (although I found Alpha Dog to be really weak), and I have no problem with him directing a film like this… but to me the real news here is that Marvel really does intend to move ahead with a Captain America movie. There are just some things that play fine on the printed page that won’t translate well to the big screen… and I’m sorry… but Captain America is one of those.

Now, before you start asking why I’m bashing on the Cap… I’m NOT. I have no problems with the comic book character… but he won’t work on screen. Sorry… he just won’t. I know he’s one of Marvel’s most iconic characters and has huge name recognition, but a guy named “Captain America” running around in a tight stars and strips spandex body suit will come off as ridiculous if they even attempt to make it feel serious.

This will play out one of two ways:

1) They try to stay faithful to the comic. A quasi-serious hero movie with the results being absolutely comical to look at. or…

2) They adapted the crap out of the Captain, totally change the outfit and give him a more realistic tone… that will end up totally pissing off all the die hard fans.

I just don’t see how they’re going to do this without it becoming a total disaster. Hope I’m wrong… but I’m not.