John’s Worst 10 Films Of 2007 Mid-Year Report
Hey there guys. Well, the other day I put up my mid year report for what I personally think are the 10 best films of the year so far here at the mid way point of 2007. A bunch of people suggested that I put up a list for the WORST 10 films so far. So here we go. These are (in my opinion) the worst 10 films of the year so far.
1) THE CONDEMNED
Look, a brainless action film with Stone Cold Steve Austin should be the easiest thing in the world to not screw up… and yet… they found a way. Hands down the worst film of the year thus far… and I have a hard time imagining anything beating it by the end of the year. I smell Razzie.
2) SPIDER-MAN 3
I am at a total loss to how anyone can attempt to defend this wretched film (but that is the beautiful thing about the movies… we all see different things). Horrible everything. Horrible story, once great characters made shells, horrendous dialog, impossible to buy into conflict, zero character development and sub-plots that no one cared about. As a major fan of this franchise, this film broke my heart almost as much as Phantom Menace did.
3) PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3
Yeah, let’s the change everything. Calypso?!?! WTF?!?! All you need to come back from the dead is a boat?!?! WTF?!?! Yuck… I won’t say too much else at the risk of spoiling things for those who still haven’t seen it. All I’ll say is that this pathetic film doesn’t deserve the same name as the original which have on my Top 100 films of all time list. Brutal, awful movie.
4) SHREK 3
I’m one of the few people who actually loved Shrek 2 even more than Shrek 1. Unlike Pixar films, Shrek has never had the strongest stories or most endearing characters… but it ALWAYS made up for it with pure hilarity. So Shrek 3 is exactly the same, except they removed the hilarity. Not kidding, I laughed ONCE in the movie. The theater was full of kids… the KIDS didn’t laugh either. So disappointed.
5) PATHFINDER
I can understand why Karl Urban did this film. I can also understand why he’s been pretending he didn’t ever since it was finished.
6) RENO 911 MIAMI
Fans of the show, please don’t take this as a knock against the show itself… just the movie. Was this supposed to be a comedy?
7) DEATH PROOF
Seeing how the movie is nothing but a set of four chicks sitting around talking about totally irrelevant stuff, only to later be replaced by ANOTHER 4 chicks who just sit around talking about irrelevant stuff… I suggest they change the name of this boring ass film to “THE VIEW: The Movie”. I swear having Kurt Russell sit on a couch and chat with Barbara, Rossie and the rest would have been more interesting.
8) THE NUMBER 23
I was so pumped about this film. The movie looked amazing from the concept… and having Jim Carrey stretch out to this kind of role was interesting to see. Too bad the 4 annoying teenage girls sitting behind us in the theater were more engaging than the film was.
9) EPIC MOVIE
Look, I GET spoof movies. BUT YOU HAVE TO MAKE THEM FUNNY!
10) BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE
As one person connected with the movie once told me: “What were we thinking making a Werewolf movie without any fucking werewolves?!?!” He was so right.
So there you have it folks, my personal list of the worst 10 films of the year thus far. My heard hurts just from thinking about these flicks again. So once again, what do you think doesn’t deserve to be on that list? What should be on that list that I didn’t put there?
52 Comments, Comment or Ping
yonatan
First and Campea I agree with all of them except death proof. That was great
Jul 2nd, 2007
Larry
Yup, pretty much agree with the whole list, except I only mildly disliked Pirates 3, I didn’t hate it and it wouldn’t be on my list. Other than that, it’s pretty spot on.
Jul 2nd, 2007
James
Same here. Right down the list, I agree with everything except Death Proof.
Spider-Man 3 may be the biggest disappointment, when one considers that it had, for the most part, the same creative team working on it from the prior two films. It’s quite shocking how badly they dropped the ball on this one.
Jul 2nd, 2007
A.J.
I have to agree about Spidey3 etc. but I actually REALLY liked Death Proof (The longer European cut). The second half especially was awesome. Best time I’ve had in a theater this year.
I’m a big fan of the car flicks referenced in Death Proof and thought that the chase scene was very exciting. It’s Charger vs. Challenger, what else do you need in a movie ? ;)
As for the dialogue, it did not bother me at all. I was never bored with it, although it was bit weak (compared to other Tarantino films) at times in the first segment.
All in all, I give it a 9 out of 10.
Anybody else here likes Death Proof?
Jul 2nd, 2007
Matteo
I liked Death Proof very much. I’ve seen the longer european cut too.
i don’t know wich were the “missing” parts in the usa version but maybe it’s because of them a lot of people hated this movie…
Jul 2nd, 2007
Bradley
Man I can’t believe you didn’t like Pathfinder, I just saw that movie the other, fuck man it rocks, it’s almost literally an hour and a half long sword fight it’s a solid 7/10 for sure.
And your wrong yet again on Death Proof that was the most nail biting scene during the 2nd half, then when the tables turned I was literally cheering from my seat.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Servant of Krom
Gawd i hated Death Proof. Kurt Russell is the man, but that flick turned him into a sniveling pussy. And John I think you needed to have Hostel 2 to that list.
Jul 2nd, 2007
fsdfdsfds
POTC3 was way better than Transfomers which was overhyped and letdown…
Jul 2nd, 2007
kevin
I agree with disliking most on the list, but honestly, I thought some others were far worse, such as: Hannibal, Ghost Rider, Hills Have Eyes 2, Next, etc. etc.; but I guess these are so CLEARLY awful that they don’t need to be included in such a list.
Jul 2nd, 2007
ScreenRant.com
John, I’m so happy to hear that you agree with my opinion of “Death Proof.” I’m at a loss as to how anyone can defend that trailer-park version of an Oprah episode…
Vic
Jul 2nd, 2007
Rodney
I read the book for Blood and Chocolate. I had high hopes for this movie. I can tell you that this movie is NOTHING like the book (except that a teen girl werewolf falls in love with a mortal) but there is SO much more going on with the power struggle of the clans and the other relationships.
The movie is nothing like the book. The book has LOTS of werewolves in it. I would have loved to have seen THAT story told.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Drew
Yup, pretty much loved Death Proof - especially upon second viewing.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Chris
Pirates 3 wasn’t that bad. I think your over-exagerrrating how bad it was.
Hostel 2 and Hannibal rising were far worse.
not to mention Norbit has to be on there that one of the worst movies I’ve seen in a long time.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Darren j Seeley
I think John forgot about Hostel 2 ,Hannibal Rising, The Hitcher remake, Hills Have Eyes 2, and I Think I Love My Wife because they need to be forgotten.
My worst?
*Pathfinder
*Spider-Man3 [it was disappointing, but my reasons differ from Gio’s]
*Dead Silence. [Gio & co. love this film, I thought it was a sack of crud]
Jul 2nd, 2007
Darren j Seeley
oops. forgot Pirates…but then, like I said, some films should be forgotten
Jul 2nd, 2007
Mofo Toshio
Rather than blast ur list or show wild support of it, here’s mine for comparison;
1. Hannibal Rising
2. The Hills Have Eyes 2
3. Redline
4. Reno 911: Miami
5. Ghost Rider
6. Pirates 3 (ok, so i don’t have 4 more movies to round out the list. I tend to avoid bad movies. Half of these u see here I caught on dollar theatre matinees).
Jul 2nd, 2007
Phil Gee
My worst was ‘Ghost Rider’ hands down. It felt like the kind of movie i thought we’d left behind us in the 90’s. How did Ghost Rider not make it onto the list John? Did you find it so forgettable that you……forgot it already?
Jul 2nd, 2007
Martin
Death Proof at number 7? Are you kidding me? I’m hurt dude, seriously, I thought you had better taste. :( :D
Besides that I pretty much agree with you, though I can’t say about pirates 3 or number 23.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Goon
I stand by my asseration that cooler heads will prevail and eventually a lot of Spiderman 3 bashers will admit it wasnt so bad. Certainly was better and less redundantly showy than 300.
I initially went around bashing Death Proof as well, however I realize now it simply wasnt what I wanted coming off of Planet Terror, it wasnt what was advertised in the trailers, and although i still yearn for more Kurt Russell, I was falling into the common trap of criticising based on what i wanted from it instead of what was there. I could still use less dialogue from the ladies overall, however in my repeat viewing I found Death Proof was completely worthy of the Tarantino catalogue, even if i still consider it my least fave of his.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Serena
John, I totally agree with your list….HATED Death proof, and my friends left me in the theatre when I had to see and review Blood and Chocolate.(Russell was there…he can vouch for that!) I would have put Dead Silence, and the Perfect Stranger with Halle Berry and Bruce Willis on that list as well.lol
Jul 2nd, 2007
Goon
One more thing… as much as I disliked Death Proof the first go around, its a crime to suggest its even 1/100000000000th of a degree worse than Epic Movie. you’re telling me that Spiderman 3 has less merit as a film than Epic Movie? Is this a “worst” list, or in reality just a “most hated” list?
Jul 2nd, 2007
Xwolverine2
i for one loved deathproof…. and i thought the number 23 was ok.
spiderman 3 is NOT worse than EPIC MOVIE…
Jul 2nd, 2007
Naught
Out of the list:
POTC 3
In the list:
Hostel 2
Next
Jul 2nd, 2007
krazie835
Death Proof should be higher on that list lol. Ok I am just kidding but I did hate that movie a lot and those girls were so annoying. Espicially the character played by Traci Thoms I wish she would shut the fuck up she wouldn’t shut her mouth espicially during the scene when she is ramming into Stuntman Mike.
Tarantino films in my mind are becomming very trite because its all the same thing. You know what to expect from his movies now and that is people talking about pointless things (which could be entertaning but it wasn’t with Death Proof) and you will see a good amount of violence. Not to mention the fact that Tarantino will lift large portions or several small portions of other films and place it into his own movie.
Shrek 3 really did suck the franchise seems to be very tired now and should prolly hang up the gloves. Spider-Man 3 was another let down as well but that is prolly due to the fact that Avi Arad wanted Venom in the movie and that Sam Rami hates the Venom character.
Jul 2nd, 2007
ThS
Man, I think people are taking the Spider-Man 3 hate over the top. Yes, it was by far the worst part of the series, but I think it still had plenty of good stuff (Sandman, for one). Most of the story was crappy, but I still had a good time watching it. As did most of the people I saw it with. Yeah, really!
Plus, a movie with a great Bruce Campbell cameo can never be in a worst movie list ;-)
I do agree about fricking Shrek 3, though. BWAH!
Jul 2nd, 2007
Washington
Glad you remember Number 23 - easily the worst movie I’ve seen in a long time. I mostly agree with your list, although I skipped Pirates 3 and Shrek 3 because the number 2s did nothing for me.
I do disagree with your Reno 911 bash. It was pretty retarded for sure, but I felt it was within the spirit of the show. It made me laugh more than any recent movie except for Hot Fuzz.
Spidey 3 deserves mucho hate IMO.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Bob
I somewhat disagree with the list. Epic Movie should be ATLEAST #3. Awful! Pirates Three should not be on the list. AND DEATH PROOF? COME ON MAN, Death Proof was a better film than Planet Terror. Movies dont have to be all about action. Death Proof was a beautiful picture, with the greatest car chase scene ever (EVEN BEATING BULLIT). But every other movie on the list is dead on.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Anonymous
Epic Movie is by far the worst I’ve seen this year, with Ghost Rider second.
You don’t think Bratz will be worse than the Condemned?
Jul 2nd, 2007
Nathan Smith
I loved Death Proof.
To me, Rodriguez did an over-the-top parody of a grindhouse movie, while Tarantino made a grindhouse movie.
Did Death Proof remind anyone else of a Russ Meyer flick?
I think John is as right about Spider-Man 3 (bag of poop) as he is wrong about Death Proof (brilliant addition to the Tarantino catalogue)
Jul 2nd, 2007
The Other James Taylor
Gonna have to agree with xwolverine on this point, NOTHING was worse than Epic Movie. Here’s my list for the worst of 2007 thus far(again, in no particular order, although just assume Epic Movie is at the bottom; this list also includes movies that were released in 2006 but didn’t hit some theatres until 2007)
Epic Movie
Vacancy(not scary, totally predictable, we called every twist and laughed while we did it.)
Spider-Man 3(I can’t help but agree with John and the gang, how the hell does a symbiote teach Peter Parker to play jazz piano?)
Children of Men(honestly don’t see what’s so great about this movie, boring, boring, pointless and boring)
Takes a lot for me to hate a movie so I don’t really want to fill up the rest of my list with movies I actually liked but just not as much as others.
Jul 2nd, 2007
funktard
No Hostel 2, Ghostrider, Norbit, or Wild hogs?
Jul 2nd, 2007
The Other James Taylor
Didn’t want to subject myself to Norbit, Ghostrider was very cool, wasn’t able to see Hostel 2 and will always regret it, aaaaaaannnnd Wild Hogs was the most consistently funny movie I’ve seen in years.
So there.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Jesse Rosenberg
I dont understand why you would see all of those…it is pretty obvious they were going to be bad. Death proof wasnt as bad as you say it is john, you just had super high expectations
Jul 2nd, 2007
John Campea
Hey Jesse,
You said:
“Death proof wasnt as bad as you say it is john, you just had super high expectations”
Yes… yes it was that bad. As for expectations, I had much higher expectations for Transformers, and I ended up loving that. So there goes that argument.
I think it’s great that you liked Death Proof, but please don’t tell me why I liked or didn’t like something.
Jul 2nd, 2007
SideShow Surfer
I look forward to that day when a critic does his/her own movie so that we all could drop it to the floor.Wouldn’t that be nice. :)
Jul 2nd, 2007
Bradley
One major mistake. Why isn’t Ghost rider on that list? that was simply the single worst comic book hero movie ever, hands down. that movie was such a pile of shit I can’t even find words to express my loathing distaste
Jul 2nd, 2007
AudioOut
The Correct List Is:
10- Norbit
09- Wild Hogs
08- The Hills Have Eyes II
07- The Condemned
06- The Hitcher
05- Georgia Rule
04- Are We Done Yet?
03- Delta Farce
02- Epic Movie
01- Dead Or Alive
All others lists are incorrect. Now, most DISAPPOINTING is another story all together. Spiderman 3 is balls. Smelly balls.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Jesse Rosenberg
THen dont do the same for me John, i actually didnt enjoy death proof much, i just dont think it is one of the worst movies of 2007
dont patronize me
Jul 2nd, 2007
Veracious
You forgot Evan Almighty; and a few seem to be fixated on Spiderman 3; in fact, are there any threequels that were any good?
Jul 2nd, 2007
John Campea
Jesse,
What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t see anywhere that I told you why you did or did not like something… unlike you telling me that the only reasons I didn’t like Death Proof was because my expectations were too high.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Jordan
Epic Movie should be higher on the list. I don’t remember even grinning a single time during that entire movie.
And while Ghost Rider did indeed suck, I can understand why you kept it off the list.
And good call on Pathfinder. That was perhaps the single poorest attempt to capitalize on another movie (300) that I’ve ever seen in my life.
Jul 2nd, 2007
Jesse Rosenberg
“I think it’s great that you liked Death Proof” I never said i liked that movie, i actually didnt like that movie that much, but its better than THE NUMBER 23, EPIC MOVIE, BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE…and many more
i dont want to have a grudge with you, i agree and love most of the stuff you write but there are a few things i think you blow out of proportion
Jul 3rd, 2007
bart plaster
i haven’t seen many movies this year but by far the worst mid year movies are and not in any order:
epic movie, shrek the third, spiderman 3, dead or alive.
Jul 3rd, 2007
John Henry
I think that Spider-Man 3 was better than all the the Spider-Man movies. But the thing I didn’t like about it was that it was to long. But after just judging the time between a 1 throgh 5 stars I would give it a 3
Jul 3rd, 2007
Slybri
I dunno why you put PotC 3 on there. I really enjoyed it. Sure the plot was crazy, but it’s all about old pirate sea legends being real and pirates who are constantly backstabbing each other and shifting loyalties. They’re pirates…it’s what they do. Good mix of comedy and an amazing battle at the end.
Ghost Rider and Next should have been on there, though. Nicholas Cage has been stuck with some awful scripts. Ghost Rider never fought anyone challenging and Next had possibly the worst ending ever.
And the FF: Silver Surfer movie. That was also quite lame. Galactus was a big cloud, Dr. Doom was a weasley guy with a mask, the Fantasti-car was product placement (it’s got a hemi?!), and there wasn’t much action.
Jul 3rd, 2007
Robert Williams
Worst for me have to be Hannibal Rising ( I gave up after 30 minutes!) and the utterly pointless The Hitcher remake.
Thankfully I haven’t seen Epic Movie, nor will I ever see it, mind you, Little Man looked a right stinker which I wouldn’t touch with a barge pole.
Jul 3rd, 2007
scorch-62
Out of that list, I have only seen Pirates, Spidey, and Epic Movie.
Pirates: 4/5
Spidey: 2/5
Epic: -7/5
Epic Movie was the waorst movie I have EVER seen… enough said.
Jul 8th, 2007
Robert Williams
Had the misfortune to see ‘Vacancy’ last night, the winner of the lamest end to a horror movie for some time.
Jul 16th, 2007
MIXMASTAJB
Have to agree with pirates 3. I was really looking foward to it. I guess they thought if they put a lot in they’d be better off.
I actually kind of liked Shrek 3.
i’m one of the few people who found Epic Movie funny.
Hey John, How come Ghost Rider is not on there. You said it was a bad movie.
Jul 16th, 2007
Mr. Death
WHY IS EPIC MOVIE SO LOW??
AND WHERE IS ERAGON??
or was that last year…
Oct 24th, 2007
Franchise
How can you put Death Proof on your list, it the perfect feel of an ol’ skool drive in movie. And then the Condemned. What did you expect from Stone Cold and only actor with a recognizable face? This was a solid movie, not great not good but definitely not bad.
My List:
1) Children of Men
2) Dead or Alive
3) Pathfinder
4) Are We Done Yet
5) Spider Man 3
6) Shrek 3
7) Reno 911 Miami
8) Dead Silence
9) Delta Farce
10) Epic Movie
Oct 25th, 2007
Marcelena
Ok, I don’t care if it was 2006 or whenever it was made, My Super Ex-Girlfriend has got to be the worst movie on the face of the earth. It deserves it for the title alone.
Dec 14th, 2007
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