Hey there Folks, John here.
A couple of days ago we talked about the top 10 best and worst films of 2005 on The Audio Edition. Since then I’ve had a few people request I put the list up here. So today I’ll give you the rundown of what I consider to be the very worst films of 2005 and then leave it to you to offer your opinions in the comments section.
So without further ado (how the hell do you properly spell that anyway???), here is my list of the top 10 Worst Films of 2005:
10) The Corpse Bride
Characters you didn’t care about, a musical with sucky music, and almost nothing but the style of animation going for it. What a poor let down after seeing Burton’s great work with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.9) Dukes Of Hazzard
Let’s see, where to begin? 2 of the 3 lead roles cast with non-actors, a script that made it feel more like “Dude Where’s My Dukes” all mixed in with a total disregard for the spirit of the original. Yeah, that just about sums it up.8) Stealth
Pathetic plot holes, outrageously unrealistic while trying to create a feel of realism, rampant cliches and a total waste of good solid acting talent. Aside from some of the visual effects, there is nothing redeeming about this joke of a film7) A History Of Violence
Yeah yeah I know… this will probably get some Oscar buzz. But I’ve never been afraid to give my opinion on something even if it’s not the popular one. This film commits one of the worst sins a move can commit… horrible 1 dimensional characters. There is no gray in this film. Each character was either 100% pure goodness… or 100% pure evil. No middle ground. It was far too slow, uneventful, boring, and with a couple of really out of place sex shots (and normally I’m all for the gratuitous sex) that just made the film feel awkward rather than intense or sexy. I hated this film… which sucks because I was really excited about seeing it.6) The Fog
Smallville star Tom Welling justifies Bryan Singer’s decision NOT to cast him as Superman. Don’t get me wrong, I think Welling has a good future ahead of him… but in The Fog he shows he’s got a lot of work to do on his craft first before stepping up to big time roles in the movies. Cheap, Cheesy and laughable, the script doesn’t do anything to get you interested or make you scared (the whole point of a horror film). The movie just sort of wandered around the whole time totally directionless. Too bad… because the original was pretty good.5) XXX 2: State of the Union
Oh my good heavens there was too much wrong with this piece of crap to even justify me going into it. I still don’t know why I don’t rank this higher on the list.4) Aeon Flux
Maybe they just should have called this “Catwoman 2”. Hot as hell Oscar winning actress in superhero like film that self destructs every chance it gets. This movie had no idea how to unfold it’s story and really felt like it was being made by a group of film students rather than the professionals. Horrible movie. If Charlize wasn’t so damn sexy I might have ranked this higher.3) The Ringer
Johnny Knoxville makes it twice on this list! If there was ever any doubt that Knoxville (who seems to be a pretty cool guy) can’t act… then this move removes that doubt totally. Let me say this again… Johnny Knoxville can not act. It didn’t help him that it was one of the worst scripts I’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing on screen. The film was awkward, uncomfortable, poorly executed… and as I already said horribly acted. One of the only 2 films in my life that I walked out of before the end.2) Dark Water
Go ahead, look up “Boring and pointless” in the dictionary. You’ll find the phrase “Dark Water”. The worst adaptation of Asian cinema to date. Nothing happens in the film. NOTHING. It’s the first movie I’ve ever seen where 5 minutes of screen time is dedicated to showing someone being shown an apartment they’re thinking about renting. Oh man… and that was the high point of the film. At least if all had a fresh coat of paint.1) Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
And the winner by a mile for the worst film of 2005 is Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo! Will someone PLEASE stop putting Rob Schneider in lead roles. The guy is ok in supporting roles and I have no problem with him. But the fact of the matter is that he SUCKS in leads. This film looked like it was going to be ok in the first 5 minutes… but then it TOTALLY fell apart into this steaming pile of dung. It’s ok to be raunchy… it’s ok to be sexual… it’s ok to be rude… it’s ok to be silly and over the top… BUT IF YOU’RE GOING TO DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS YOU HAVE TO AT LEAST BE FUNNY WHILE DOING IT!!!!! Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo wasn’t.
So there you have it folks. My list of the worst films of 2005. Is there anything you really think SHOULDN’T be on that list? Anything that SHOULD be there that I missed? Tomorrow I’ll give my best of 2005 list. Cheers!
