War Of The Worlds DVD Special Features We Don’t Want

John Campea 19 Comments

Well the War Of The Worlds 2 disk DVD is upon us. The disk is full of good looking special features… except will someone please tell Steve Spielberg to take his head out of his ass and give us a freaking Director’s Commentary please!!!!!

However… there are a couple of DVD Special Features that we’re glad aren’t on there. Here are a couple from the good folks over at FilmFodder:

- Cruise Control -The grim visage of Tom Cruise stares intensely out of your screen, while the benefits of Scientology are chanted in the background. This plays continuously until you cede your free will and become one of his mindless minions.

- Thwart Xenu -a DVD game where you must run a maze evading evil psychiatrists, who hurl Xanax and Prozac at you, and reach the welcoming arms of L. Ron Hubbard.

I’d like to add a couple of others:

- EXPLAINING THE IMPOSSIBLE - In this riveting feature Steven Spielberg explains his complete abandon of logic on how an unarmed teenage kid can run into battle against a horde of giant alien death machines with a bunch of US military troops… and yet be the only one to survive…. AND beat his father back to Boston at the same time.

- THE ULTIMATE WEAPON - An alternate ending to War of the Worlds where the alien invaders decide to leave earth just to get the hell away from Dakota Fanning’s constant and annoying as hell yelling.

- THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE - A series of deleted scenes where Tom Cruise falls in love with one of the Aliens and goes on to appear on daytime talk shows where he acts like a complete moron jumping up and down professing his new found love of “hot alien action”. (taken out of film for time restraints).

Which ones would you add to the list?

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  • max

    WTF ?! i have to say, this movie was extremly terrible. honest to god, i have never seen a movie with that many plot holes. what exactly did the birds do to bring down such a monstrosity… did they, i dunno.. peck at it? there may have been decent actors and all but really… SO MANY PLOT HOLDS. i was extremly disappointed, like for real, as if brilliant aliens couldnt use heat sensors or something other than big eyes on long tentacles. i kind of feel sorry for steve the director, he Fucked up bad. as for the day after tomorow, atleast i wasnt asking myself thousands of questions at the end of it all.

  • MechoPower

    Are you insane about The Day After Tomorrow…that movie was just as bad as War of the Worlds. Both of these movies totally sucked!!! Each ones plot was splotchy…but I will give Cruise credit for his performance…he may be a retard but his performances are always up to par. He always does a good job. And about Vanilla Sky…that movie was kick ass…it had plot and the acting was top notch. Sure, I had to watch it twice to get the whole thing…it confused me at first…but the movie was excellent. As for War of the Worlds…have you ever seen the original…now that is a good movie. This one totally bombed…what exactly kept you on the edge of your seat. The only thing that had me on the edge was when Dokota Fanning was screaming incoherantly and then the stupid son kept trying to get away…I was like YEAH, PLEASE ZAP HIM…it would have made the movie so much better. But somehow miraculously he survives and frontal assault by the aliens when a whole battalion of Marines couldn’t??? Yeah right…this movie is insulting to say the least.

  • Brian

    NO way is it better than Day after Tomorrow! Day after Tomorrow had a plot that, while not that believable, at least didn’t have holes the size of Texas through it. It also had heroes. People willing to sacrifice for good. Cruise’s character was a jerk. A big, fat jerk. Throughout the movie you think he is going to gain the respect of his kids. he doesn’t. He’s still a jerk at the end of the movie. it’s almost like he’s playing himself. There is no stability. the movie is a big mashed up pool of mayhem. i am a true Sci-fi dork, and i wan’t a side dish of plot with my disaster flick. This is the most upset i have been about a movie since spiderman 2!

  • kreatha

    I think the movie was very good. Better than “The Day After Tomarrow”. I don’t care much for Tom Cruise, but I think he was very good in War Of The Worlds. I hope he keeps up the good work and stays away from movies like

    ‘Vanilla Sky”

    ‘. Dakota Fanning was very good, could of heard less screaming. I watched the movie 3 times in one week. It gets a 10 out of a possible 10. Way to go Steven..

  • Brian

    Uh,nik to answer the question “What happened?”, i must say 2 words.

    CRAPPY MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I was on the edge of my seat the first 20 minutes, but by the time i realized that there was no plot and Cruise’s contract required him to be a huge jerk, i lost interest.

    CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE PURPOSE OF THE BLOOD SPRAY IS????? Is it just to freak us out? It doesn’t freak me out unless i know an insidious purpose for it! Otherwise it’s just gross. This movie is awful. I don’t know how anyone liked it.

  • nik

    erm…..war of the worlds - i was on the edge of my seat…..literally!

    I kind of got lost at the bit where Tom was pointing to the gung ho yankee soldier shouting somethng about the birds and then they were all back home??????? What happened?

    And why wasnt the home in boston destroyed?

  • MechoPower

    How about the real secret of the movie…Dokata Fanning was in fact a very far advanced alien compared to her counterparts (she can change shape) and is actually thousands of years old and it is she who actually plans and initiates the invasion…all the screaming and whining and wierd noises coming out of her mouth are actually a form of alien communication and that is why the damn things always “just happen” to show up when she is around screaming at everything.

  • Ahwatukee Bob

    I purchased the wide screen version of the Tom Cruise “War of the Worlds” and found the video quality to be horrible. I exchanged it at my retailer and found the second copy to be the same. Are any of you finding the same video quality being poor?

  • Kristina

    I like Dakota Fanning, but just watching the COMMERCIAL and hearing her scream and screech makes me want to yank her tongue out.

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