You know, for all the bitching and moaning a lot of us do around here about the movies these day (and that includes posters and commentors) it struck me that I’ve never put together an authoritative list on the things that bug me about going to the movies these days. And since today is a pretty slow news day, I thought this is the time to write it.
Now, before I go any further, let me preface all this by saying I still LOVE going to the movies. There are very few things in life that I find more fun. Ok going with an actual DATE to the movies is more fun. Ok ok ok… going with a date and then there being sex afterwards is also a hell of a lot more fun… but I digress.
So here you go folks, my list of things that bother me about going to the movies these day:
- Cost of admission ($10 for a ticket!?!?)
- Cost of Concession stands ($14 for 2 cokes an a popcorn?!?!?!)
- Huge Concession stand line ups
- Commercials running when the movie was supposed to start
- No pre-selected seating
- Parents who don’t take their crying kids out of the theater
- Teenagers who don’t shut the hell up
- The guy in the back who thinks everyone wants to hear his oneliner joke
- Theaters designed so that line ups are outside instead of inside
- Theaters with outside line ups that don’t spend $500 to set up overhead shelter to protect people in the line from the rain. It’s very simple to do.
- Theaters that have the “Ticket checker” set up past the concession stand. There are 30 people behind me waiting to get into the theater because I can’t get at my ticket in my pocket since my hands are full carrying 2 cokes and a bag of popcorn that cost me $14. And they don’t even set up a place to set down your stuff to get at your ticket for them!!!
- I know this falls under “Concession stand prices”… but it deserves to be mentioned on it’s own: $3.50 for a SMALL BOTTLE OF WATER!!!
- Bad sightline design. Theaters that don’t take into consideration that a tall person MAY actually sit in front of you and you may have a hard time seeing the movie you overpaid for. Increase the slope of the seating… raise the screen a little.
- Bathrooms with no paper towels and weak air hand dryers. I hate standing there trying to get my hands dry on the 1 operational dryer with 6 impatient guys standing behind me waiting to use the same one.
- People kicking the back of my seat (this doesn’t happen often… but when it does…)
- Sitting in an empty row with your buddy… and then 2 sweet looking woman come and sit in the same row… and you think “Oh yes”… and then 2 minutes later their bodybuilder boyfriends show up with the popcorn. Well… at least they had to pay $14 for it. Jerks.
- Late shows that start too late. Ok… I can’t get there on time to see the 7pm show… THE NEXT ONE DOESN’T START TILL 10:30!?!! I’ve gotta work in the morning!
- Early shows that start too early. “Yeah baby, we’ll do dinner and a movie… but we have to have dinner at 4:30pm because the STUPID FRICKEN MOVIE STARTS AT 6:10!
- People who stand in line to buy tickets and don’t actually start to decide what they want to see until they get up to the ticket girl… with 50 other people waiting behind them as they go “ummm… how about that one? Oh no… I don’t like that actor… how about that other one?”
- Theaters without free available parking
- Seats designed by some guy who really hates people and wants to inflict suffering
- People who don’t turn off their cell phones. How hard is that? DIE DIE DIE!!! (no kidding, I once had a guy whose phone rang 3 different times in the same movie… justifiable homicide your honor).
- Cup holders that aren’t actually big enough to hold the large cup. WHY!?!?!
- When the movie you invested $40 bucks in for tickets and snacks and 2 hours of your life ends up sucking.
Ok, I think that’ll do it for now. So what do you think of my list? Is there anything else that you’d add to it?
