Constantine Reviews

Constantine_Poster.jpgThis is one film I’ve been looking forward to with guarded enthusiasm. Now, the critics have rung in, and unfortunately they’re basically saying what a few friends of mine (who have already seen the film) have already told me. It’s not that good.

In the roundtable there are a few favorable reviews… but not many. I’m still going to see it… even if it’s just for the special effects (I’m always a sucker for lots of good effects).

Here’s what some of the critics have to say about Constantine:

“The actor’s black-on-white getup makes it plain that Constantine is one ‘whoa’ away from Neo-dom, and that Constantine likely represents the start of another Hollywood franchise with diminishing returns in its future.”
Mark Holcomb, VILLAGE VOICE

“Reeves is back to his usual monotoned self…as a routine demon-slayer who plays second fiddle to expensive special effects.”
Rob Blackwelder, SPLICEDWIRE

“Constantine is a pretentiously muddled, emotionally hollow, nonsensical film about Catholic angst, and a cancer-ridden hero who’s been to hell and back. ”
Emanuel Levy, EMANUELLEVY.COM

“The end explanation seems as reasonable and metaphysically valid as a Pokémon card battle. That’s OK, though, because Constantine is all about look, sound and feel.”
Phil Villarreal, ARIZONA DAILY STAR

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32 thoughts on “Constantine Reviews

  1. I just loooooved the hell out of CONSTANTINE.

    according 2 me Reeves gave a kick ass performance and the theme was awesome.the battle btween good & evil has been taken 2 the extreme wid d battle of keanu and hell.rocks ya……

  2. Constantine broken down:

    Reeves: Needs credit, plays subtle ill character because if your track record/life was Constantine’s, would you truly doubt Reeve’s passive-f.u character..? Exacly.

    Secondly - critics (old stubborn simple-ton creatures) criticise poor/showy portrait of bible interpretation. They don’t know the history to back themselves up! The bible’s recent versions..NIV KJV ect are the 7492384th version, meaning, its watered down with flowery language. Critics got to stop thinking heaven is chucky cheese’s and hell is a cave with lava where god and Lucifer never think of each other. Lucifer was one of the arch angels, fallen along with 1/3 of heaven… So Why shouldn’t he talk to god at all..?

    Constantine was quite religeously accurate, and I think those narrow minded critic pricks are just lost/scared because this wasn’t old blunt “Dances with wolves” for crying out loud. Since when are critics certified ministers with a Phd in christian theology/history.

    Overall, the mood is gloomy/dark/painful & most importantly.. right!

    I loved it, end of story, could of gone a lot further in my opinion, but I’m sure it gave a bunch of weak people the religious willy’s.

    People only didn’t like it because they didn’t understand it/or they are just a bunch of stuck up orthodox pansys who demand their right to reject that which is not endorsed by George Bushfart or whoever.

  3. I honestly favor this movie in its nature. Constantine was spectacularly luminous in quality for the subject it was published on. People don’t rate it on this, but whether the story has good sissy actors or a person that has absolutely no sense in what character he’s playing; as long as it *looks* good. Reeves’ serene mode perfectly fit that of a semi-mystical slayer and combatant of fiends. You can’t have NSYNC play the slayer of the Dark One.

    It was recommended by a friend that knows me due to its gnostic themes. The Archangel Gabriel was one of my most preferred characters, and one of the best in my opinions. Not only did he represent his time-trascending personality and ideals of helping humanity into a path of salvation, a messenger of rebirth, but the actual task of certain angels at the End whence they all carry specific tasks to bring doomsday on Earth. And yet, still maintaining any deep Occultists’ view of angels as almost cynical servants of a human-controlling God, which is constantly pounded by ‘justice’. I was impressed by his acting, he completely fit the job 300%.

    I wouldn’t judge Lucifer on this one, since his attire was probably based on the comics. And for it being based on such eschema instead of a large demi-god with tenebrous apparence; it added a tone of sarcasm and liveliness at the end of the story. It would’ve been too blunt (and unoriginal) to base demons on the usual clad of muscular dinosaur-like behemoths, every sense in the movie structured it perfectly and kept it up. From the actual belief in mirrors serving as doorways from realms alongst with water
    and its magnetic field generated during the conscience’s electric force at meditation (which kicks the spirit out; or releases the electric essence out of the body) to an angel yelping ‘-Father’ as he is blasted by Lucifer in a whiny tone as if saying: “Mommy?” when presented at ultimate devastation. On contradiction to Reeves’ complaints, every character in this epic has their own will/background and personality. It’s like viewing a story on the big screen, and indeed, it IS based on a comic.

    Although I do admit, perhaps if it broke the boundaries of the comic, it would been better. Seeing as it was limited to that story and nothing outside it. But even then, it served as a pleasant
    story. Then again, isn’t it supposed to BE based on a comic? In that manner, it was outstanding for its purpose. The special effects were unquestionable, especially Hell’s vibrant scenes, the winder of flares, clouds bursting with rays of incandescent devilish light, the scenery wreaked and displaying layers underneath it filled with its classes as it’s supposed to be. Heaven itself didn’t look that bad, the background in it is simply amazing with brilliant set up.

  4. Constantine is a mix of that milla jovovich movie resident evil 2, matrix (without that 20 minute sex scene, and weird jumping up and down.)

    It is enjoyable to watch during the movie, but afterwards when you watch it, you think “it culd have been better.

    What is Keanu anyway in that film?

    And why on earth has he got that “I am a boy made out of stone look?

    and in the end, does Keanu and Rachel get together????????????

  5. Yeah this movie was good but nowhere near the matrix but still a fun ride. Oh and the comment by dee about everyone believing in god and hell IS moronic because how could dee know what everyone else is feeling and thinking. No god, no hell, just us trapped on this planet in the universe all alone, accept it. Religion is just like the matrix it is a system of control turning people into decieved puppets oblivious to the fact that we are on our own.

  6. ok like wat the hell. nothing bothers me more when people put other peoples opions down.like wat the hell do u do at home, sit on ur ass cryin wishin u had a boyfriend. like damn, so wat u did not like it, it is ur right to say it but don’t friggin call people morons. any who i thought the movie was great and i hope they make another, i m goin to buy the movie as soon as it cums out on dvd.

  7. You’ll trippin’ on what? In what critics say?
    To Hell with them! They forgot of what going to the movies is all about…To sit down and forget about everything else and just have fun… In my humble opinion Constantine nailed it in that department… And please leave Keanu be… he’s no Jamie Foxx(yet!) but the man has skills,if not to smoke on film…just jocking…he delivered a great performence, as did his fellow actress…you go girl! By the way, Loved Lu.

  8. I thought the movie was really good. It had good special effects and the action was good too. I don’t know why the critics said this movie was bad. The story was good and it was just a fun movie to watch.

  9. This was a decent movie, not a fantastic blockbuster by any means, but a strong 2 1/2 star effort. However, as a friend mentioned and I tend to agree with him, as far as movies of this genre, and I don’t mean comic book movies, what I refer to are movies depicting the battle between Heaven and Hell, it is probably one of the best of all time. The miniseries of Spawn (from HBO), takes the cake in my eyes (not to be confused with that horrific attempt of a movie done a few years earlier).

    This was a dark movie, and it was not intended to be happy, fluffy, and I think it was executed fairly well. Perhaps it was the execution of Constantine in a stirring way, or lack thereof, that prevents me from giving more praise to the movie.

  10. I went and saw Consantine two days ago, it needs to sit for a little while. I enjoyed the topics that were brought up. Keanu had a little more edge to Constantine then Neo, his adittude made the funny moments happen. The character was not British because how many people do you know who live in LA that are British, Keanu is not the only reason he is American. (American Movie!) By the way that disney kid’s name is Shia LaBeouf (Holes) and he was amazing. I liked the first few minutes, the middle was all over the place, but the last half hour was brillant. This movie made me think about something I would not really think about normally. When watching this movie just take everything in and think later, you might miss something.

  11. ya’ll trippin! i saw the movie today and it was good! this movie is full of surprises and its just wat some people need 2day. i think that if these people can do better than, do it!, cause this movie deserves 2 thumbs up. and the actors were graet 2. holla!

  12. My wife and I saw Constantine last night (hooray) and we both really enjoyed it.

    I thought that the film had a great ‘organic’ quality about it, something that’s missing from a lot of large-budget films. The visual effects were messy, dirty, gooey and meaty while not being slick, shiney, plasic and fake. Very impressive.

    The story was good - solid plot, good characters, suspense and atmosphere. The dialog was also well-written.

    I really liked how very time a scene would be completly normal suddenly crazy, creepy stuff would happen.

    Also Keanu did a great job. I don’t know why so many people complain about his performances - first everyone loved how awesome he was in The Matrix, now it’s ‘in vogue’ to hate him. Stupid fads. I think he did a great job and gave a very ‘organic’ performance.

    This is like comparing apples to oranges, but I can honestly say I enjoyed his performance better in Constantine than The Matrix.

    Anyway, great film; excellent organic visual effects, solid story and great performances. Oh and good direction too!

  13. lauren:

    whoah, chill baby.

    i can’t believe you are actually complaining that dee did not leave her e-mail address so a moron like you can write and bother her.

    and i say it again:

    i loovvvved this movie, it was suculent and delicious.

  14. Well. I liked the movie terribly so, and as of yet, I haven’t seen any happy checks from the WB for spreading the good news. I really really liked this movie. I enjoyed their take on Hell, I loved the stark visual quality of it, and though Keanu’s acting was unemotional to the point of hearing a drop of water in the well, I came out of the movie with a bit of respect for him that I have NEVER had before. He had a look that complemented the imagery being presented. I also damn well liked the fuggin SEXAY “finger licking good” comment. I also came out of the theatre wanting a cigarette so bad…and I don’t even smoke. It’s the most powerful movie as far as imagery is concerned that I’ve seen in a while. And I’m happy to say only one of my friends are not wanting to see it (he’s a huge fan of the Hellblazer comics, and therefore cannot get over the very obvious license they took with the story).

  15. I can’t even begin to comprehend who these people are that like the movie Constantine. I imagine they really don’t exist, and it’s just the marketing companies who are writing in to this site. My favorite is the poster who goes by “Dee” and claims that “We all believe in God, Heaven and Hell, but most of us are afraid to say so”. Dee, you’re a moron. A really stupid, uneducated, unrealisic, moron. That’s possibly the dumbest sentence I’ve ever read. But, I won’t dwell on you. You all can write me if you disagree (notice you can’t write to Dee the Ree-tard because she dosen’t supply an email addy). I just want to say that Constantine is the worst movie I’ve seen in years. Keanu is an atrocious actor. Furthermore, with lines like “ahhh finger lickin’ good”, this movie probably should have starred Arnold Schwartzenager- he is much better with cheesy one-liners. In closing, I haven’t met anyone who has seen this movie and liked it. In fact, most people were laughing at how bad it was as they left the theater.

  16. constantine was superb!

    an impecable mix of action and funny…a little to much “character development”.

    when will hollywood learn? i don;t care about the characters! i don’t care about emotion! kill kill kill!! burn! hell! demon! angles! fight fight fight!!

    well..i have to admit i was shoping in the back of mind for reeves to kick demonic ass matrix style, but that not happeneing was not to much of a let down.

  17. I dont care what critics say about this movie. I don’t care what they say about the Matrix. I love the Matrix Series. I love Constantine. I went opening day to see Constantine and loved it, Keanu is the perfect actor for the part. You can see the sadness and hurt in his face, but yet you can tell he still has priorites. Just like his charactors. Keanu’s wife died and hes still making movies. Neo lost trinity and still saved the world. Constantine was going to Hell but still saved the world for the rest of us.

  18. I thought this movie was very good, i really enjoyed it, and Keanu fit the role perfectly, it was his type of movie. It was one of those movies, that when its over your not sure what to think of it but as the time progresses, you say wow, that was a awsome movie.

  19. This is a great movie. It honors the comics decently. I had a couple complaints. First one being that hes not British and the second one being that the disney kid from holes was in it. Ive actually read from other critics that the best part about this movie was the kid from holes. What kind of crack are they smoking? Anyway, the film really captures you. It epic unlike a lot of movies that are put out now that seem finished in less time than it takes to drive to the theatre and find a seat. The color tones are amazing and the characters have a lot of depth. I personally would have liked to see another character as the lead because I think that they chose to make Constantine American because Reeves can’t pull off a Brit. (I like Reeves but doesnt it always seem like its Keanu Reeves starring as Keanu Reeves?) He did do a good job in this film and the humor and darkness merge togther nicely.

  20. I just saw Constantine and it was everything I had imagined it would be. Absolutely amazing! I had figured the critics were going to tear this movie apart, considering the critics tend to have completely different opinions then the masses. The reason they disliked this movie is only because of Keanu, but I actually thought his limited vocality fit his role perfectly. The story graphics and acting were all really good and the basis of the movie itself is one in a million. It’s a shame the critics cant see that.

  21. I liked Constantine. We all believe in God, Heaven and Hell, but most of us are afraid to say so. Seeing a movie like Constantine brings it all out in the forefront. It seems most people would rather say they believe in Aliens than God. Keanu Reeves is very believable in all of his roles. Most actors, when they play spiritual or mystical roles, send the audience a message “Yes, I’m an actor playing this role.” Keanu doesn’t do this. In Matrix movies, Devil’s Advocate and now Constantine, he plays the role straight. There’s something about Keanu’s approach. You believe he’s the character. He almost underplays it, making it more real. I guess some people say that’s limited range. I call it limited perception by that audience member or critic. They don’t get it. He is so subtle, so magnicificent, that he comes across real. Isn’t that what acting is all about? Give me Keanu over any other actor any time!!!!

  22. I saw Constantine last weekend and it was pure fun. I liked it. Well sure, we all know that Keanu’s range is quite, um, limited, but in this particular case he fit the purpose quite nicely. I’m not sure how faithful it was in adapting the graphic novel it was based on, since I’ve never read it, but it rocked anyhoos. Go watch it.

  23. Who cares what critics think,They’re not gonna decide what I watch and what is good or not.Can’t it be a good movie if it will keep you entertained? jeez they want every movie coming out to be a MASTERPIECE. I’m planning on watching this movie cause it looks like something i’d enjoy.

  24. I could care less what the reviews are of this movie; I’m looking forward to seeing it. I tend to find that I like the movies the critics don’t and find the ones they like boring.

  25. I don’t like what that last reviewer is inferring about the metaphysical validity of my Pok√ɬ©mon battles. They are so reasonable and metaphysically valid, they boggle the mind.

  26. It doesn’t really matter much these days about “reviews”, one way (pro) or the other (con). The marketing machines always win. Just look at most recent BO figures for films that have been ravaged by critics. Plus, most of these audiences do not read reviews, and those that do, audiences that range from 35-60, do have to read reviews because Hollywood refuses to make films for them!

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