This just came from nowhere and plonked itself in my browser. Total surprise, I had no idea about a farcical version of the Matrix series of films apart from it’s own good work!

So when I saw the warning on Movie-List Forums:

This “The Matrix” parody will be released theatrically in US on March 18th. Looks like a crap.

I decided to ignore it, and look where it took me, now I’m writing a post about it! Still, to be quite honest it doesn’t look very slapstic funny and actually it doesn’t look that funny at all. There are a few giggles I came across with one big laugh, but nothing serious, but yet I was actually impressed.

Firstly, if you are checking out the clips, just see how many different film references there are, and although the humour isn’t cranked up to eleven, or even five, it’s still there and it’s quite off beat. It also struck me as quite clever in places, perhaps it’s just another case of a well made trailer, but the teasers have some clever moments too. There’s a lot of thought gone into making these parody the Matrix characters and situations, and if you hadn’t guessed already, it’s actually kind of appealing to me.

Perhaps there is a part of it that’s because it’s going to parody something that really needs a slap in the face, perhaps it’s the high production values that seem to have gone into it, perhaps it’s because the whole series has just taken itself far too seriously already. I’m not sure. However, you have to admit that the missing high laugh jokes aside, there are some clever moments to be had here.

You know what? I might just go and see The Helix…Loaded. Oh, and it also has such talent as Vanilla Ice and T. J. Hart in it, she of around one hundred dubiously titled movies. Ahem. As an aside, what is amazing is that I never knew IMDB covered all these movies…and you can rate them!!

Anyway, forget that for the moment, just bear in mind the tagline from IMDB:

When “The One” dies, Orpheum must find the “Other One.”

Oh dear. It’s worth a giggle.

This tickled me, and tickled me a lot. Remember those silly plot stories from the eighties teen slasher movies? Well this one has to take the biscuit. IMDB cover the plot of Terror Train as:

A college fraternaty prank goes bad and student ends up in the mental ward. Four years later, it’s graduation time, and the members of the fraternity decide to have a costume party aboard a train trip to celebrate thier graduation. Unknowingly to them, a killer has slipped aboard, wacking them off one by one, disguised in the costumes of the victims.

Laugh? Well if it didn’t echo a million other movies of the time then I probably would. The real funny news is that…

In conjunction with Maverick Films and Integrated Films and Management, Emmett/Furla Films, a wholly owned subsidiary of Family Room Entertainment Corporation, has announced that they are in final negotiations to acquire the rights to remake the 1980 horror classic, Terror Train.

Woo! Thanks Coming Soon, I can hardly believe it! Where could they have possibly had the idea to remake some old eighties horror movies?

Emmett/Furla and Integrated recently partnered to set up a remake of the horror classic The Amityville Horror with NuImage and Dimension Films.

Ah. I see. I wonder what will be next on their roster. However, I think they defend it well with a really strong web bite:

“Suspense on a train is a classic formula that’s been relatively unexplored in recent years,” said Andy Trapani and Steve Whitney of Integrated Films and Management.

Now you see, I am laughing.

Mark Morgan of Maverick Films stated: “…We are excited to start with ‘Terror Train’ and believe this to be the first of many to come.”

…Surely that’s not meant to read that it’s the first of many such remakes as Terror Train to come, but more that’s the first of many collaborations to come? Oh let’s hope it’s the latter!

Saved! News is that David Beckham can no longer commit to starring in the forthcoming football (or soccer if you’re that side of the world) movie Goal!. The Guardian have the story:

…his club prevented him from taking time off to appear in the football movie Goal!. Beckham was due to film his scenes last week, but his Real Madrid coach told him his football had to come first.

[Insert pause]…Now, don’t knock the post, it’s a legitimate movie story, if not a bit pun filled. Interestingly he’s still listed in IMDB as being on the movie, I wonder if this will hurt the film much?

Great news on the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels, and believe me living my entire life in Scotland and the last eight years in Edinburgh has no basis on the following news from Coming Soon, really.

Taggart star Alex Norton (The Count of Monte Cristo) has joined the “Pirates of the Caribbean” sequels cast, reports the Daily Record. The 55-year-old actor will play Edinburgh sea captain Sam Bellamy. “I’ve only just heard that I got the part of Captain Bellamy. I’m really excited,” said Norton, “I start filming in Los Angeles next month. We then head out to the Caribbean island of St Vincent in June and July.”

Yeah! For those of you who don’t know, Taggart is a Police drama set in Glasgow which has the immortal catchphrase “there’s been a Myrdyr!”. Since the original actor Mark McManus passed on, the show has lost its real lead of Taggart, but is finally settling with Alex Norton as the lead, and its popularity has increased again. Anyway, this isn’t about Scottish TV Programmes!

So there’s an Edinburgh pirate! Superb news…although the actor’s from Glasgow, no one will ever know outside of Scotland!

Other interesting news on the Pirates front is that since his wife announced Chow Yun Fat had been signed up for the sequels (previous article), he has been trying to keep a low profile recently in order to…

…keep his image for his role in the upcoming “Pirates of the Caribbean” films a secret. However, he was caught earlier this month sporting a thick mustache and a goatee.

The other news, which has been reported just about everywhere in the last few days, is that both Stellan Skarsgard and Naomie Harris are also set to join the cast.

If you stop and take a look at the cast list already it’s quite unique and you have to give some serious kudos to the casting skills and the pulling power. If this film is a flop you’ll still want to see it just for the chance to see all these talents leaping around the screen together. However, I don’t think it will be a flop, I really don’t think that at all.

This was so crazy I just had to post it. Apparently on a first class flight to London, Lara Flynn Boyle popped a bunch of pills, got naked, hopped into bed with a male passenger and started doing lines of blow off of his stomach. Ok, I made the last part up. So sue me. (If her publiscist reads this…please don’t sue me. Rich put me up to it I swear!).

There is only one word to describe that kind of behaviour: Awesome.

I know this is not really what we report here on the movie blog…but I felt I had to share. Also I would like to share this: Ms. Boyle; if ever you would like to strip naked and hop into anyone’s bed, I assure you mine is very comfortable and, to add icing to this little cake, I am very easy.

Check out the news story here.

The Sea Inside has swept 14 awards at the top Spanish film awards ceremony, the Goya awards, the BBC are reporting:

The Goya Awards won by The Sea Inside (Mar Adentro) included best film, best director for Alejandro Amenabar and best actor for Bardem…

…other Goya Awards included best actress for Lola Duenas, best supporting actress, supporting actor, newcomer actor and actress, script, photography, make-up and music…

It is favourite to win the Oscar for best foreign language film in February…

…It has already won a Golden Globe for best foreign language film.

Fourteen awards? Either Spanish cinema was particularly bad this year or this movie is stunning, I can’t comment as I haven’t seen it yet, but what does everyone else think?

…and the speculation keeps going. The BBC are now reporting that the British Bookmaker William Hill have closed all bets on Bond. Why? Well someone placed a “large bet” which has panicked them into early closure, especially after the person announced that they had insider information. Right, let’s get the facts and come back to that.

The firm closed the book on Friday, saying “insider information” could have contributed to the number of bets.

Mr Adams said one punter had placed a bet of £870 on the 39-year-old actor at odds of 8-1.

“She told us she had some inside information, perhaps she knew he had been to a casting, but she wouldn’t say,” he said.

Okay, here I am back. £870 is a large bet for someone with inside information? If I knew that there had been a casting and I also knew it was all agreed, I’d be in there with thousands, or if I couldn’t I’d not announce it to the Bookmakers without telling all my friends! Yet a mere £870?

Another dampner on the story:

A large number of bets on actor Colin Salmon to become the first black James Bond were dismissed as a publicity stunt a month ago.

Alarm bells ring. Yeah, it could just be another stunt, however the fact that they’ve actually closed the bets is an interesting sign, and I’m still writing it up! However, I actually think Scott would be an excellent choice, so I’m hoping.

Closing odds:

Dougray Scott - 6/9
Clive Owen - 5/2
Hugh Jackman - 4/1
Ewan McGregor - 4/1

In a recent post about Jennifer Garner telling a friend she thought Elektra was awful, a reader left an interesting comment:

Personally, I think an actor should say straight-forward what he thinks about the film. If he doesn’t like it, it should be his choice to say so. This maybe his only chance to save face. Because, in the long run, he has more in stake than an executive - whom nobody knows anyway. An executive can pile up crap without ever blinking, while an actor is one of the front-people of a film production. If it is crap, people will remember it. And everybody knows what happened with Sharon Stone, who continued smiling on all her B-movies. It’s their responsibility and their right as artists to say what they think. It is their credibility who is in question and I can only have more respect for those who say what they think needs to be said.

The comment brings up some good points and it got me thinking about the issue.

Here’s the way I see it. An actor who puts out a bad film doesn’t suffer as much at the producer, because ultimatly it’s the producer who losses the money. Actors are easily forgiven. Heck, just look at Harrison Ford, Robert Di Nero or Al Pachino… every film these guys have been in for at least the last 5 years has sucked eggs… but we don’t really hold them responsible for that.

When an actor is hired to be in a film, the job goes beyond just acting in front of the camera. It also involves promoting the film. So if I pay you $4 million dollars to be in my movie, you better aslo promote the hell out of it! If you think the film sucks, then keep your opinion to yourself until after it’s been on DVD for a while. To come out say say you think it sucks to the public would break the contract, because it would conflict with trying to promote the film.

Also, look at it from the actor’s point of view. If they go and shoot their mouth off that a movie they just filmed sucks, then what are the chances that producer will ever hire them again? ZERO. And word gets around fast. Other producers will be hesitant to hire that actor as well.

Also, more and more big name actors are tying their salary in with the revenues of the film. IE. The more money the movie makes, the bigger the paycheck for the actor… so an actor isn’t going to bad mouth the film. Also, the OTHER actors in the movie may get really pissed off too. Afterall, it looks good on an actor’s resume to have a big money maker on there… and if one of the actors bad mouths the movie, then the success of the film will take a hit.

Yes, I think an actor should say what they think about a film… but only once the comments can’t effect the revenue of the film (after it’s done it’s run in the theatre and DVD stores). To yack about it before that would betray the trust ofthe producer, effect their future employment, tick off other actors and probably set them up to be sued for breach of contract.

Your thoughts? (picture taken from the photo gallery of JeffLava.Com)

Well, if anyone really had any doubt that The Incredibles was going to take the Oscar for best animated film (and really, it should be nominated for BEST PICTURE!), those doubts should now all be laid to rest.

Sunday, the 32nd annual Annie Awards were given out, and The Incredibles swept the show. The good folks at the USA Today gives us this run down:

It was an incredible night for The Incredibles. The Pixar Animation Studios film about a family of superheros who save the day swept the 32nd annual Annie Awards on Sunday, winning top honors for best animated feature, best directing and best voice acting for Brad Bird, the film’s director who voiced the diminutive seamstress Edna Mode.

The Annie Awards are presented by the International Animated Film Society to honor outstanding animation in television and film. Winners, including last year’s Finding Nemo, have typically gone on to win the Academy Award for best animated feature. The film was distributed by The Walt Disney Co.

In the voice acting category, Bird beat Antonio Banderas, who provided the voice for Puss in Boots in the DreamWorks Animation film Shrek 2. He also edged out Samuel L. Jackson, who was nominated for his voicing of the cool superhero Frozone in The Incredibles.

This is going to be the easiest pick in my Oscar pool this year.

Hmmm… perhaps Martin Scorsese isn’t as sure a lock as most people think for the Oscar next month. Sunday night the Directors Guild handed out their top honor to Clint Eastwood as director of the year for his film Million Dollar Baby.

An interesting little statistic. in the last 57 years, only 6 winners of this award have failed to go on to win the Oscar for best director… so it would seem things may stand in Eastwood’s favour.

The Sentinel is lining up to have quite an interesting cast and with the recent news of Eva Longoria from that strangely well received show Desperate Housewives, it’s probably about time we talked about it. Coming Soon have a good write up on the story:

Special Agent Pete Garrison (Douglas) suspects that the neo-Nazi Aryan Disciples have positioned one of their own in the White House, but his investigation is cut short by a blackmailer who knows of his affair with the First Lady Sarah Ballentine (Basinger) and tries to frame him for murder. Though he is officially relieved of his duties, Garrison doesn’t stop trying to prove his innocence and save the presiden’t life. He comes into a direct confrontation with his protege, hardheaded Agent Breckinridge (Sutherland).

Sounds interesting, and try as I might not to make comparisons based on blurbs alone, I can’t help but think of No Way Out with Kevin Costner, in my mind one of the best movies he ever did. It’s a similar idea and I really shouldn’t make the comparison, but it’s so hard not to when we’re surrounded by remakes…plus it’s a cheap shot at shouting about a great movie that some of you might not have seen!

Anyway, behind the movie is Michael Douglas‘ production company, and…

S.W.A.T. helmer Clark Johnson is attached to helm a script written by George Nolfi (Ocean’s Twelve).

The rest of the cast list for looks like this so far:

Keifer Sutherland
Michael Douglas
Kim Basinger

Stretch of acting capability here for Sutherland though, he’s playing a bad FBI agent. Phew, hope he can do that after four seasons of playing a…well…a good CTU agent!

There has been a lot of chat going on around here with regards to the X-Men film and the upcoming Fantastic Four. A little while back I put up a post about the LOOK of comic characters on the big screen, but I also think there are other challenges that comic book fans (like myself) need to take into consideration before jumping down the throats of the studios for something in the movie that is inconsistent with the comic book.

Take for instance the issue of Gambit in the X-Men. I’ve got a lot of email from people who want to see a Gambit spin-off movie where he can have his proper romance with Rouge. After all… this would be more accurate with the comics right?

The Problem with the idea of a Gambit spin-off is that he’s not a popular enough character. Now, before all you Gambit fans out there (and I’m one of them) get mad at me, try to look at it from an “outsiders” point of view.

Easily the most popular character in the X-Universe is Wolverine. Hands down. Cyclops and Jean Gray have always been the heart and sole of the X-Men. Magneto is an insanly popular character (especially for a “villain”)… and we start to get further and further down the scale.

No studio in their right mind would make a comic spin-off with a title’s 4th, 5th, or 6th most popular characters. They tried with Elektra… and look what happened. Now, if they had made a decent Bullseye spin-off…

Also, No studio will make a comic book movie that ONLY appeals to the comic fans. It’s just not financially realistic. To make a comic film, the director has to make it appeal to both comic fans AND the wider public audience. That’s why you’ll never see (nor SHOULD see) a 100% accurate comic movie. And that’s a good thing.

Comics are written for comics, not the big screen. If you’re going to translate it to the big screen you have to adapt it somewhat, while still keeping the spirit of the comic intact. It’s the same thing for novels that get made into films.

Lord of the Rings fans understood this and forgave the minor (and sometimes major) differences between the books and the films. Comic fans need to understand this as well.

I get a little nervous when I hear some comic fans say “Fantastic Four will suck because The Thing doesn’t look big enough”. What!?!? You mean just because a character looks a little smaller on screen than he does in the comic book the whole film will suck? In my opinion that’s a little short sighted. We as comic book fans are notorious for being very protective of our beloved superheroes… but at the same time we need to more open to looking at the big picture when translating a comic into a film.

A movie has limited time and a limited budget to make a good story. We often forget that some of our favorite storylines in the comics sometimes take MONTHS or YEARS to tell with even MORE YEARS background behind them. A film maker doesn’t have that luxury. He’s got to get you introduced to the characters, get you to like them, set up the conflict with the bad guys and tell a great story all in… 2 hours. I think we should cut them some slack if they need to change a few things to get that done.

It’s a lot easier for films like BATMAN or SPIDERMAN because they only have 1 central major character to focus on. Films like X-Men or Fantastic Four have multiple characters to work with in the same time frame (2 hours). I honestly don’t know how a director does it!

Your thoughts?

Eeeeeeeee! I am more excited then a Portugese sailor on shore leave in Paraguay over this movie. In case you did not know, Unleashed is the story of how Jet Li wears a collar. Then takes off the collar. And then kicks a lot of ass….or somehting like that.

Anyways, check out the poster here courtesy of the good folks over at Freeze Dried Movies.

No. They didn’t. It’s funny reading over 100 publications that put out some lame attempt at controversy by suggesting that Michael Moore or Mel Gibson got snubbed by the Oscars this year.

You see, to get “snubbed”, suggests that you were seriously deserving to get nominated, and I’m sorry, but neither of them deserved it.

Don’t get me wrong, I think both Fahrenheit 9/11 and Passion of the Christ were wonderful films, I really do. However, just because a film is really good, doesn’t mean it was one of the top 4 or 5 films of the year. I’d personally put “Passion” in my top 10-15 of the year, and the same goes for F-9/11… but neither of them were (or should be) in my top 5.

And don’t forget, Moore decided to not allow F-9/11 to be considered for the Best Documentary category (which he easily would have won), and instead opted to go for Best Picture instead. He never stood a chance.

To fail to get nominated for Best Picture doesn’t mean you didn’t make a great film, it just means it wasn’t one of the top 5 of the year. With all due respect to Moore and Gibson fans who are shouting out “SNUB”, in reality niether of their films were in the top 5 (or very close to it).

Good films? Yes. Deserving of Best Picture nominations? No. Were they snubbed? No. Just my two cents worth.

What the hell is Uwe Boll playing at, and how in the hell is he getting funding to create the poor drivel that he currently is? For anyone who has played games in the last few years, or understands the marketplace you’ll know very well that the Companies are intelligent enough and are producing some really engaging and rich gaming experiences, to the very point that in some games there is almost a movie experience. So how come we are being faced with such offerings as House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark?

Well you could understand it if we were back in time playing Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat and went to see those respective movies, at the time the games weren’t that deep an experience and the movies followed suit. What’s the excuse now? The games are of a very high quality and with a much richer and wider experience and movie production has moved on so much with special effects, a film quality production can now be made on computers.

The Games industry is strong enough to be able to command what happens with their movie options, just look at Id and the history of the Doom production for evidence of that or to Squaresoft for creating their own film company and making Final Fantasy, why don’t they hold open their options and pull the plug when the film industry offer them a midas touch Director, or a poorly written script?

Then there’s the Studios themselves, why do they keep giving money to these poor, half attempts at movies? It’s not that they are blind to what can be done, they have seen the success of such films as Tomb Raider and in comparison to some of these recent attempts it was a success whatever some might think, or look to the comic adaptations to see the good that can be created out of the bad, Spiderman and the (we all know it will be) return to form of Batman. They know that if properly treated they can win the original audience over and grab a whole new audience too, and there they have a ready made script and audience just waiting for them.

So what do they do? Ruin it, totally. You are not making a game when you take a game adaptation to the screen, so why use a game geek who is a hopeless director? Just treat it like any other movie production and get a decent team in to give it a proper treatment. Better still, get a game geek who is a very good Director - Sam Raimi as prime example of a geek comic book lover who did the whole Spidey name proud. Just because the idea is already plotted out making it cheap at the conceptual stage, doesn’t mean that you should go and make the rest of it on the cheap.

Okay maybe the choices for movies to date haven’t been too good, and I could be harshly judging Mr Boll on the evidence of what he’s done to date when we’re still looking at Far Cry, Bloodrayne and Hunter: The Reckoning for completion, these could be good. Really, they could be. Then again.

Talking of Matt Damon and the Bourne movies, he’s signed up for the third, The Bourne Ultimatum.

What I hope that doesn’t mean is that the camera will be even more shaky, even more closed in on the action and even more difficult to follow. See the thing I found about the latter half of the The Bourne Supremacy was exactly that, you found it very hard to follow what was going on, and to be honest the action could have been taking place anywhere.

During the big chase scene you would see the back of a Policeman’s jacket with the word Police flashing back and forth and all over the place, then it would cut to Damon’s face as he bounded along with the camera jiggling some more, back to the Policeman, back to Damon, all close up wobbling shots. It was hard to tell if they were chasing each other and if they were even in the same city! In the car chase scene it was the same, fast cuts back and forth with close ups on the drivers faces, before you knew it the car had crashed. It crossed the NYPD Blue camera school line.

I know lot’s of people liked it, some of my friends loved it, and I’m not against the NYPD Blue school of filming in fact I love that show, it was just way overdone here. Style over substance I’m afraid for me, there was a big failure to think of the audience and how it would look on a big screen.

Looks like more of the same though with Paul Greengrass returning after his Watchmen outing, and that could spell good or bad news for the comic adaptation. A return to familiar ground to recover his career, or just because he wants to write the next one? Also back is the same writer Tony Gilroy, so it will be a good story filming styles aside.

News from Dark Horizons through JoBlo on MI:3 in the form of Abrams taking on his current hot series lead for the movie:

Abrams just added a significant degree of hotness to his directorial debut MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3 by adding Keri Russell to the cast. Russell is currently starring in THE UPSIDE OF ANGER, which had its premiere at Sundance, and it seems she and other members of the cast were in the “Foundry Grill and Owl Bar” in Park City and she let it slip that she would be starring in MISSION…Russell played the title role in Abrams’ “Felicity”.

Well done her, could it be that she’s set for greater things than Abrams previous female lead who’s career isn’t doing so well with the fizzle of Elektra? Personally I think he should have gone with Garner for the lead here…much ermm…better acting.

So far though, the cast list is looking good:

Tom Cruise, Eileen Atkins, Kenneth Branagh, Ricky Gervais, Scarlett Johansson, Justin Kirk, Carrie-Anne Moss and Ving Rhames.

Well, apart from Cruise.

Angelina Jolie is to return as a spy following her recent screen time with Mr and Mrs Smith. Coming Soon are reporting that she is joining Matt Damon in the CIA story The Good Shepard.

We already reported about the hot swap of Damon for DiCaprio, and the storyline of a retelling of the CIA opening history from the viewpoint of a founding agent does sound like good movie fodder, but the concern about the stock Bourne style and acting was very much in the forefront. So now Jolie’s hot off another spy thriller of a similar MTV style ilk. Is it just me or does that sound like lazy casting teams?

A little bit more of the story is revealed:

The movie is an Eric Roth-scripted history of the CIA as seen through the eyes of a career agent whose marriage is destroyed by the stress and difficulties of the job. Jolie has been tapped to play the wife.

Any long time reader of The Movie Blog has seen me post more than once about the current insane economics ot the theatre business. Perhaps someone here in Ontario heard my rants.

Famous Players, the largest theatre chain in Canada, has just announced they’re dropping their criminally high ticket prices. Here’s what the Toronto Star had to say:

A new $9.95 adult price is being introduced across Ontario, down from the current $13.95 top price, to fight declining movie attendance caused primarily by the rise of DVDs and home theatres, and by a drop in repeat viewings by film buffs.

This is a positive step in the right direction… but don’t get too excited just yet. It’s also being heavily reported that this price drop is temporary upon further review. I’m glad to see they didn’t try to blame attendance drop on video piracy. Thanks to Shelley and Kurt for pointing this one out to me.

Robert De Niro’s career has totally been in the crapper the last few years. I count 6 totally horrible films in a row. He really needs a good one. Unfortunetly, it doesn’t look like Hide and Seek is it.

The reviews for this film aren’t the worst I’ve seen this week, and there are even a couple of positive ones… but for they most part the critics don’t seems to like it. They don’t HATE it… but it’s negative nonetheless. Anyway, here’s what some of the critics have to say:

“ALMOST a good movie. Of course, that close call with competence is averted with an ending that gets worse and worse as it drags on and on”
- Willie Waffle, WAFFLEMOVIES.COM

“Another movie in which rich white people who don’t seem to have or need jobs move to a mansion in the country to be terrorized by a mysterious, faceless, evil.”
- Joshua Tyler, CINEMABLEND.COM

“Though it’s not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, Hide and Seek does manage to hold the viewers interest throughout…”
- David Nusair, REEL FILM REVIEWS

“An absorbing mystery-thriller for its first hour … until it races off the tracks toward a dumb, albeit predictable, twist ending.”
- Dustin Putman, THEMOVIEBOY.COM

Oh well… looks lke strike 7 for De Niro. This guy needs to take some lessons on how to pick a winning script… because he seems to have forgotten. He’s got way too much talent to throw away on films like City By The Sea, 15 Minutes, Showtime and now this.

Just when i was starting to wonder if I’d see any reviews this year WORSE than the ones received by Elektra… along come Alone in the Dark. Oh wow… no seriously folks.. this film is getting HAMMERED by the critics from every angle.

I was looking forward to catching Christian Slater in a flick again… I guess this couldn’t be called a tripumphant return. Just take a look at some of the horrific things that are being said about this film. Keep in mind, these aren’t just a couple of bad reviews… ALL of them are this bad.

“This horror film, spun off from an old Atari video game, is so inept on every level, you wonder why the distributor didn’t release it straight to video, or better, toss it directly into the trash.”
- Stephen Holden, NEW YORK TIMES

“Alone in the Dark co-stars perpetual party-girl Tara Reid as an archeologist. That alone should give you some clue as to how bad this movie is.”
- Bob Townsend, ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION

“There are some stupid films that rock, if you turn your brain off and enjoy them. Alone in the Dark isn’t one of these, though it is very stupid.”
- Michael Wilmington, CHICAGO TRIBUNE

“Terrible beyond belief, like the worst 1940s serial ever made. As for Slater and Dorff…well, they’ve been in worse movies-wait a minute, no they haven’t.”
- Frank Swietek, ONE GUY’S OPINION

Wow… I want to go to it now just to see for myself how bad this film is. Guess I know what I’m doing this weekend. Maybe that was the studios strategy all along?

I never thought I’d hear myself say that I’m really looking forward to seeing a movie about Chess. Yet here I am. Game Over: Kasparov and the Machine is making it’s way around and it sounds fantastic.

The good folks over at MetroMix give us the lowdown on this film:

No game of the intellect can be as thrilling or dramatic as chess. And “Game Over: Kasparov and the Machine,” which premieres this weekend at Facets Cinematheque, is one of the best films ever about that game, one of the most exciting, instructive and sheerly entertaining of all chess films. It recounts the history of grandmaster Garry Kasparov’s battles with the IBM chess-playing computer “Deep Blue” with such wit, skill and mounting excitement that we’re held enthralled throughout.

Kasparov is regarded by many as the greatest chess player of all time, and Deep Blue was designed to make thousands of decisions and projections with lightning speed and-with the help of its human handlers-to “play” chess. Having bested all human competitors in his historic, meteoric career-which saw him become the Soviet Junior Champion at 12, World Junior Champion and an International Grandmaster at 17 and World Champion at 22-the jocular, brilliant Kasparov takes on the computer and beats it.

Then comes the second match-and, both Kasparov and the film imply, something rotten from IBM, a global corporation with lots of money and stock prices riding on the games. The film shows us the war of nerves and checkmates between Kasparov and IBM and makes it as exciting as almost any recent sports drama around. But the ending, worthy of an Isaac Asimov science fiction story, is both ironic and, in its way profound; it raises numerous stimulating questions about man and the machine, artificial intelligence and the corporation (and the state) versus the individual.

Wow… sounds good. I don’t even play chess and I wanna see this one!

Most of us are still trying to repair the mental damage suffered from watching Elektra. The question I keep asking myself is “Oh my sweet Jennifer… what the hell where you thinking?!?!”

Well the answer came today. Mark brought it to my attention in the comments section earlier, and the IMDB provides the tough truth of the situation:

Jennifer Garner has declared her latest movie Elektra “awful” - according to her ex-boyfriend Michael Vartan. Us Weekly reports that Vartan, who briefly dated his Alias costar in 2003, still maintains a friendship with Garner, who reportedly told him her Daredevil spin-off wasn’t her proudest piece of work. In an interview with the publication, Vartan is quoted as saying, “I heard (Elektra) was awful. (Jennifer) called me and told me it was awful. She had to do it because of Daredevil. It was in her contract.”

Well, I guess we shouldn’t be surprises by the fact that she was contractually obligated to do the film. Still, I’m amazed some highly paid studio executive read the script to this pile of junk and said “Yeah! This sounds Great!! Here’s 79 million bucks… go make this puppy! It’ll make us all richer!” No it won’t.

Well here you go. The opening crawl for Revenge of the Sith has been posted up on the official Star Wars website. Special thanks to FilmRot.

War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere.

In a stunning move, the fiendish droid leader, General Grievous, has swept into the Republic capital and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Galactic Senate.

As the Separatist Droid Army attempts to flee the besieged capital with their valuable hostage, two Jedi Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive Chancellor…

Hehe… Movie Blog Alumnist Day-Vuh sent me a version of this and I just had to post it. :)

Robert Tapert the Producer from The Evil Dead, has talked to SciFi Wire about the remake plans for that very movie.

Apparently he and Bruce Campbell were the really reluctant ones, with Sam Raimi pushing for the new take. From an excerpt form MovieWeb:

“The funny thing is, nothing is as you would expect. Our original investors and I think [original Evil Dead star] Bruce [Campbell] and myself were more resistant to remaking the movie than Sam.”

“I talk to Bruce Campbell every other day, and he says, ‘You should see the message boards and all of the stuff I get saying “Please don’t do it!”‘ So we’re certainly going to have to tread carefully.”

“As long as we stay true to what was the original model of the first Evil Dead, which was that we want to hurt and punish the audience, then those who love it will be satisfied,”

For all the fans out there who have been as worried as I have about this move, it does sound that it’s being done out of respect for the original with the careful footing of the producers of the movies watching over it.

I’ve said it before about getting hacked off with trailers giving away a pivotal point of a movie or even the ending itself, and when I used to talk about movies in the Newsgroups it was often the case where someone who had seen the movie before release would lull you into reading a post and then wham hit you with the ending. It happened to me with Sixth Sense, and that was annoying to say the least.

So it’s interesting when the makers come up with new ways of hiding what the ending is going to be, and with the new film Hide and Seek they’ve gone all the way. Coming Soon bring us the news that:

For the first time in its illustrious 70-year history, 20th Century Fox will be shipping prints of a motion picture to theaters across the nation without the picture’s final reel. The unprecedented move is part of a major effort to protect the pay-off of the studio’s terrifying suspense-thriller Hide and Seek, starring Robert De Niro and Dakota Fanning.

Fox has taken extraordinary measures to safeguard the critical final reel, which is shipping separately. In addition to shipping the reel separately, security guards will hand-deliver the reel to all playdate theaters across the U.S. As a final security measure, Fox has numbered all final reels.

That’s one hell of an expense and hassle for them, but if it’s going to keep the ending covered up for the opening weekend, then it could be a godsend. In this era of games and movies being released early on the Internet by some keen insider, it’s not a surprise to see this sort of action going on. John talks about the Blair Witch Project in his last post, and this is a movie I wished I had seen on the opening weekend along with the other people who had no idea it was a fake at all, it might have made it a different experience for me.

However, the explanation from Fox is:

Commented Fox executive VP and general sales manager Richard Myerson: “‘Hide and Seek’ is a terrific picture with an ending that everyone will be talking about. To ensure everyone’s enjoyment of the film and to prevent ’spoilers’, we’ve instituted extraordinary measures. We think it’s worth the effort.”

Yeah, but this will only last for the first showing. After that it’s open season on the spoilers and you’re not going to be able to stop anyone announcing the ending after that. So it’s not going to ensure everyone’s enjoyment, just everyone’s on the opening day. Still, great idea, and great publicity!

A couple of years ago, just about a month prior to the release of Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, I was down in Indianapolis for the big Star Wars convention known as Celebrations 2 which is actually run by LucasFilm (Celebrations 3 will be in April). Anyway, I was there with a friend of mine screening our short film “Rise of the Tradiz” (shameless self plug there).

My second night there I ran into Ed Sanchez, the creator and director of the mega hit “The Blair Witch Project” (that’s him with me in the picture). We chatted for a while about the film, the huge disappointment Blair Witch 2 was (which Ed did NOT direct) and if he’ll ever do a Blair Witch 3. Ed told me at the time that BW3 would be something he’s consider… but there would be a lot of “ifs” to that.

Ed has been out of the spotlight for a few years, but now the good folks over at JoBlo are reporting that Ed is putting on the director’s hat once again… and once again it’s for a horror, but it’s not BW3. This is what they had to say:

Eduardo Sanchez — the man who along with Daniel Myrick was behind the marketing extravaganza — announces that he has, in fact, signed to direct his next feature, and that it is, in fact, yet another horror movie. The better news is that his budget won’t consist of hairnets and bubblegum this time around, and that he will actually be starting the shoot at Universal Studios in May, and that he is casting the movie right now. You can read all about it, in his own words, over at the Haxan Films website, but basically, he’s not saying much about the movie right now, other than that it’s a horror flick entitled PROBED featuring a monster…

I like the title already. Let’s see if Ed has the magic, or if Blair Witch was just a fluke. Personally, I’m thinking this will be good.

In an earlier post we mentioned the fact that Jon Voight has been banned from attending the upcoming Screen Actors Guild Awards, even though he’s nominated, as punishment from the Guild for reducing his level of membership in the organization. Just stupid on the Guilds part.

Now, Jon Voight is shooting back at SAG with a full page ad in Variety magazine telling his side of the story. The good folks at IMDB give us this:

In a letter which appeared in trade publication Variety, Voight says he initially considered financial core status to work on a pal’s financially-strapped movie, and went ahead with his plans after SAG used “scare tactics” to shut down his friend’s film. He writes,

“The SAG board chose to bring me once again what they think is shame, and apparently to warn other actors off joining financial core, by announcing to the press that I was not invited to the ceremony to which my fellow actors nominated me for a union film. All this because of my willingness to uphold the right to our personal pursuit of freedom and liberty… My sorrow comes only for a union that can be a great force, that can accomplish much good, and protect, promote, and nourish the actor in his individual pursuits, but does not yet understand that there will be come that will be happy to follow the union in all its rules and regulations, but there many be some that will differ, and follow a destiny of their own choosing, and that is their right…

The directors at SAG could have easily avoided this whole mess by using some common sense and inviting Voight to the awards (since he’s nominated). Instead they decide to play hardball… and now make the whole Guild look like fools. Bad move.

Wow, if only I had changed my entire career early on in my life and chosen to be a Graphic Artist, studied and learned, then moved into Graphic Novels, I would be applying for this. However, I took the route of Hygiene and now I’m a toilet cleaner Consultant. If I had changed my entire life, I would now be applying for a job with the team who are making A Scanner Darkly.

Film Rotation carry the story from the Austin Chronicle who talk with the film makers about the process of making the movie and also provide a couple more stills. This movie looks lush. The stills also show some of the actors in character, and for this kind of movie that means a lot more than normal.

Animator Mike Layne talks about the process and the attractiveness of working with Robert Downey Jr.:

“With A Scanner Darkly, we’re trying to be much more cohesive, because we’ve got A-list actors and those guys need to be recognizable. If you’ve got somebody like Robert Downey Jr., who is made of elastic √¢‚Ǩ‚Äú there is nothing on him that is stationary at any time √¢‚Ǩ‚Äú capturing all of his expressions and doing justice to someone that great an actor is a real challenge. It’s interesting to see him in particular, because you never really notice how much goes into acting until you see a guy who is going into the scene that way and you see every little nuance that goes into each little piece of his performance. It’s incredibly complex and detailed, and we’ve really got to capture that in the animation.”

So, what’s all this about a job? Well to cut to the chase, and do the wind up a huge injustice:

Flat Black Films is seeking fine artists and illustrators to do animation on the Richard Linklater feature A Scanner Darkly. Applicants need to be highly skilled in line drawing, particularly of the human face. Whereas our previous feature, Waking Life, aspired to a painting aesthetic, A Scanner Darkly aims to look more like a finely detailed, well-drawn comic book or graphic novel. Experience with computer animation such as Flash is a plus but not required. If you are willing to work as a local hire in Austin…

…go read the story to find out the full details and to get fully wound up about this and check out the application details, it’s a fantastic opportunity if you have the talent.

Over at Film Rotation MediaMelt (his Mum actually christened him that) has some news of the Miami Vice movie, and he quotes a story from Latino Review about the script. What struck me is that El Mayimbe seems surprised that the story is taking a turn away from the cheesy television series to a more gritty and realistic movie.

For me though, that’s no surprise. As soon as Michael Mann was announced you just knew what was coming. I’ve always been a fan of Mann, he just has a great visual style and that was so clearly shown in Manhunter which was just an amazingly underated movie.

…the first draft of Miami Vice reads like a police manual. Full of prose and detail.

Is how it is described, and that just reeks of Mann to be honest (how many Mann puns are in here?). Now, big warning, feel free to go and read the whole story in Latino Review, but be very aware that it does contain spoilers. Thanks for the warning Melt, I’m not going near it. Full story link.

Okay something really weird is going on here. We’ve just had the madness of Crispin Glover’s new movie trailer, well now madness from the previously sane Stan Lee.

CNN is reporting that Lee has developed the first Superhero developed on a celebrity. You’ll recall we talked about this in a previous post but none of us could really understand what it was all about, well we do now, unfortunately.

The former Beatles drummer has undertaken a joint venture with Stan Lee’s POW! Entertainment to develop a multimedia franchise in which Starr will play a superpowered animated version of himself.

The Starr-Lee project initially will be launched as a 60- or 90-minute DVD, but POW! and Starr’s entertainment company, Rocca Bella, plan to explore TV, feature film and other avenues.

Eh? Now when we posted this story names like George Clooney and Brad Pitt were banded around, not Ringo Starr! The voice of Thomas the Tank Engine? Yes, ‘fraid so!

Ringo says of the project:

“(The action) will be set around a band. They’ll be their own characters. It’ll be a very strange All-Starr Band.”

Starr called Lee “a great creator. (This project) wasn’t anything I was looking for. But he had this idea of a musical superhero — what I like to think of as a reluctant superhero. . . . I’ll zoom in to save the world, or a damsel in distress, or a small village. Who knows where he’ll go?”

I’m beating my head against the keyboard as I type.

What the heck?! I’ve just seen the trailer for Crispin Glover’s movie What is it? What is it? It’s exceedingly weird and quite creepy, however as far as story goes? Who the heck knows. IMDB make some attempt:

What Is It? is a bewildering, unnerving, surreal, blackly comic film from the visionary mind of Crispin Glover that tells the inner and outer struggles of a young man facing villains and demons on multiple planes.

With the tagline of:

Being the adventures of a young man whose principle interests are snails, salt, a pipe, and how to get home. As tormented by an hubristic, racist inner psyche.

Over indulgent twaddle with some breasts thrown and close to shocking images perhaps? Or maybe it’s actually an insightful, surreal piece of filmaking?

Well check out the trailer (this is a direct link) found through Boing Boing. What do you think?

Oh why not, everyone else is! You can check out the full list at the Oscars site, but let’s do a quick run down of the top awards…where’s the Top of the Pops theme tune when you need it.

Actor in a Leading Role
Don Cheadle - HOTEL RWANDA
Johnny Depp - FINDING NEVERLAND
Leonardo DiCaprio - THE AVIATOR
Clint Eastwood - MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Jamie Foxx - RAY

Actor in a Supporting Role
Alan Alda - THE AVIATOR
Thomas Haden Church - SIDEWAYS
Jamie Foxx - COLLATERAL
Morgan Freeman - MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Clive Owen - CLOSER

Actress in a Leading Role
Annette Bening - BEING JULIA
Catalina Sandino Moreno - MARIA FULL OF GRACE
Imelda Staunton - VERA DRAKE
Hilary Swank - MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Kate Winslet - ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND

Actress in a Supporting Role
Cate Blanchett - THE AVIATOR
Laura Linney - KINSEY
Virginia Madsen - SIDEWAYS
Sophie Okonedo - HOTEL RWANDA
Natalie Portman - CLOSER

Animated Feature Film
THE INCREDIBLES
SHARK TALE
SHREK 2

Directing
THE AVIATOR
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
RAY
SIDEWAYS
VERA DRAKE

Best Picture
THE AVIATOR
FINDING NEVERLAND
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
RAY
SIDEWAYS

Writing (Original Screenplay)
THE AVIATOR
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
HOTEL RWANDA
THE INCREDIBLES
VERA DRAKE

What do you think, more to the point take a look at the complete list and post who you think are going to be the winners, or rather who you think should be the winners. If everyone posts their personal winners, then before the Oscars themselves we will gather together the numbers and post the Movie Blog skewed Oscars! So get voting!

John, Miles - let’s keep ours until last so as not to skew the skewed results…if you know what I mean!

Update:
The Oscars approach, if you want to get your votes in, do it now before they are all counted and the post made!

When did Michael Douglas get so serious? Remember Romancing the Stone and The Jewel of the Nile? Fantastic fun films. Yet Douglas hasn’t returned to that kind of fun film for some time, and he was so good at it, those movies are great entertainment.

Coming Soon have the story from The Hollywood Reporter that he is to star in a movie called Racing the Monsoon, which is to follow in the vein of these two films. As the title suggests it is set in India, and Douglas is reported to be out there scouting around for locations, as well as courting (and I mean that in a Business sense) Indian stars.

Michael Douglas said Monday in Mumbai that he will co-produce and appear in Racing the Monsoon, set to be shot entirely in India. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Douglas is there on a scouting expedition for the adventure film, slated to begin production early next year. Douglas also said the project will be the first U.S./Indian feature co-production…

…’Racing the Monsoon’ will be on the lines of ‘Romancing the Stone’ and ‘Jewel of the Nile,’ ” Douglas said. “Right now, we are developing the screenplay and hope to begin production in early 2006.”

Douglas said he was in talks with actress Aishwarya Rai (Bride & Prejudice) for the female lead and that the film will have a large number of Indian actors.

Holly and Bolly are mixing quite well nowadays, and this is just another step towards it. I would like to think this is a growing trend away from merely remaking someone else’s movie to collaborations on remakes and new projects between Hollywood and foreign production houses.

All that aside, is Douglas still up for this kind of movie? I mean look at how young he is in this picture. I guess if Indy can…

I don’t know what the excitement is about the War of the Worlds pictures, I mean it’s just Tom Cruise standing around with a bunch of people. Oh, and there’s some dirt and rubble too, who’s the best actor? Among the people I mean!

Anyway, check out a couple more stills at Movieweb. Nothing exciting at all, and I really don’t see anything that’s making me go “wow!”. Okay, okay. I know. I’m sure that the movie is going to be spectacular, after all it’s the surnamed man Spielberg.

If nothing else, Constantine looks cool. After I saw the trailer I was worried that it was going to be very similar to Matrix, it did have a lot of that feel to it and Keanu Reeves certainly didn’t do anything to alleviate that feeling.

So however it turns out, it’s interesting to see the latest shots that Movieweb have. I’ve linked to the hi-res photos, but select the link at the bottom of the page to allow you to choose the lower resolution.

The more effects laden shots look quite cool, and the cast shots are looking stylish enough without any great feeling of “It’s Matrix” leaping out at me. I’ll keep hoping.

Well there’s three guys writing here and an extra one on the audio edition, and we all struggle with innuendo and cheap leching at sexy ladies, so I thought it about time that the ladies get some. See, I can’t stop!

Not only is Brad Pitt now reportedly single, but it looks like he’s returning to the days of long hair. Personally I think hair is over rated, shaved is the way to be, however each to their own. Why the long hair Mr Pitt? Well his production company Plan B Films is about to bring a book of Jesse James life to the big screen with Pitt in the lead role. How convenient!

Unfortunately all I can think about at the moment is Young Guns and Tombstone. However, from what I can understand is that the book is actually quite a rich telling of the western life and an evocative take on the story. Coming Soon say:

In the book, Hansen re-creates the real West with his imaginative telling of the life of the most famous outlaw of them all, Jesse James, and of his death at the hands of the upstart Robert Ford.

James, a charismatic, superstitious, and moody man, holds sway over a ragged gang who fear his temper and quick shooting. Robert Ford, a young gang member torn between worshipping Jesse and taking his place, guns him down in cold blood and lives out his days tormented by the killing.

What could be interesting is that Andrew Dominik is directing, he of Chopper fame. He won much accolade from that movie but then that was back in 2000, and the only activity since is this years The Demolished Man.

Ok, right off the bat I should say that it is VERY unlikley that we’ll see Gambit in the next X-Men film for many many reasons… but considering so many people have posted comments on the subject in various posts, I thought I’d open up the question here: SHOULD Gambit be in the next X-Men film?

Now, before I leave it to you to answer that in the comments section, let me throw in my 2 cents worth. Personally, I DO NOT think Gambit should be in the next film. Here are my reasons:

1) Too many “main” characters already

2) The comic Gambit character is already sorta personified in many ways by the movie version of Wolverine

3) I think the accent would really start to annoy me :P

4) Having Gambit without a romance with Rouge would feel wrong… and they’re already too far into the relationship with Rouge and Ice Man in the movies… not to mention she’s too young.

5) They seem to already be leaving any character development time to Ice Man and Colossus in the next one.

Now, before any of you start blowing my head off, keep in mind that I LOVE the Gambit charater. I really do, but that doesn’t mean that I think he would fit in the movie at this point. For instance, Bishop is one of my all time favs… but I also don’t think he would be a good fit for the current films either.

So there you have it. What do you think? Should he or shouldn’t he be in the next film? And why?