Hey … apparently we’ve attracted somebody’s attention because we’re starting to get unsolicited mail from official press-types … John-Boy, you may want to throw a contact email link or two on the front page to make it easier for people to solicit our affection.

Anyway …. I’m not a huge fan of Antoine Fuqua as a director so I haven’t been following his upcoming Arthur film particularly closely. That said, I know a good number of people who ARE looking forward to it quite a lot and for you I present this trailer. It’s one of two tv spots (the longer and better one) that were forwarded to me by a press type presented in glorious Quicktime. Yes, I know you sent it in one of those other formats too, but QT’s really the only thing worth using for movie trailers so I like to pretend those other formats don’t even exist unless I’m given no choice. So, with no further ado:

Lo-res here.
Hi-res here.

Okay. Christian Bale is the best looking Batman ever. Suits the part far, far better than any of the previous incarnations … check these out and then see if you can find it in you to disagree …

I have this theory about Canadian film makers and it goes like this:

Canada is such a crap place to make films - between the lack of funding, lack of local distributors willing to screen local product, and lack of much of anybody anywhere caring about Canadian films it’s pretty much impossible to get your films made or seen - that those who stick it out are almost invariably people who are incredibly driven by strange and distinctive visions of the world around them. Basically, the “film auteur” is alive and well in Canada at a ratio unheard of anywhere else. I mean, seriously, anybody who’s ever seen a Cronenberg or Egoyan film could never mistake them for anything else. I tried really hard to think of Canadian directors today without looking anything up and could only come up with nine names off the top of my head a shocking seven of whom fit quite comfortably into the auteur mold with the odd men out being Norman Jewison and Ivan Reitman both of whom have worked pretty much exlusively in the US for years. Anyway, all that to say that we may not have many working film makers up here but the ones that we DO have are more often than not pretty darn distinctive.

Enter Guy Maddin. You’ve most likely never heard of this man but he is worshipped as a god in short film circles where his peculiar, wildly surreal, Fritz Lang inspired, hand-cranked, over exposed black and white shorts have been turning heads and blowing minds for years. This is a man steeped in modern irony and absurdism who makes films as though it was still 1930. His new feature - The Saddest Music in the World - opened in limited release in Toronto today and I’m itching to see it. It tells the story of a depression era beer baron - played by Issabella Rosselini - who lost both legs in an accident and had them replaced by clear glass prosthetics filled with frothy lager and is now hosting a contest to discover the saddest music in the world. In Winnepeg. Songwriters gather from around the world, perform their pieces and slide into a giant vat of warm ale. The story also involves a twisted love triangle and an amnesiac nymphomaniac and it’s all shot in a wildly stylized black and white. That’s not good enough for you? Peter Howell - one of the best reviewers in town - just gave it a perfect five out of five star review which you can read here.

Do yourself a favor and check Maddin out if you get the chance … some of his short film work has turned up on those readily available “Short” compilation DVDs … on the Dreams edition, I believe … and the three shorts IFC commissioned to help promote the feature are all available for download here. The Sissy Boy Slap Party is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen …

Spotted some interesting news on the upcoming Mission Impossible 3 … Kenneth Branagh and Scarlett Johannson have both been added to the cast (along with returning actors Tom Cruise and Ving Rhames) which means if nothing else this thing’ll have some decent acting punch … but somehow I’m thinking that this is going to have a bit more kick to it then that ’cause somewhere along the line Joe Carnahan got hired to direct it without my noticing … For those who don’t know Carnahan was the man behind the grimy, harsh, amoral and completely stellar crime pic Narc which was shot on the cheap here in Toronto. Narc was so low budget, in fact, that Carnahan couldn’t even afford to print up dailies to review his work meaning he was essentially shooting completely blind - not knowing if he was even getting usable film. Three things that Narc should tell you about this man:

1. He’s got a set of stones on him. Anybody that has the nerve to shoot film blindly has got an awful lot of confidence in his own abilities.
2. He’s got the goods to back that confidence up. Narc looks amazing. This man knows his way around a camera.
3. He knows how to get the most out of his performers. Hands down the most impressive performances yet from Jason Patric and Ray Liotta. Actually, this is the only time I’ve EVER liked Patric in a film and Liotta is simply stunning.

Suddenly I’m quite looking forward to this film …

Hard on the heels of a pair of enthusiastic reviews on Aint It Cool, here’s the first legitimate English language press response I’ve seen for Casshern so far. Mark Schilling at the Japan Times gives it an enthusiastic 4 stars out of five review while piling on comparisons to the visionary work of Fritz Lang. He also tosses out just about the best one off quote I’ve ever seen regarding Mamoru Oshii - ‘Oshii’s “Innocence” [is] an essay on human identity that is to most animation what Kant is to “Chicken Soup for the Soul”‘ Anyway, read the full review here and join me in fretting over when / whether this thing is gonna make it to local shores.

Dreamworks anime subsidiary Go Fish Pictures is currently polishing up a major overhaul of their website for Innocence, the sequel to the classic Ghost in the Shell. It’s still not on par with the Japanese site but it does include a decent amount of information including a happiness-inducing note that the film will see a domestic release in “late summer 2004″. Don’t know about you, but that means August to me.

So, after getting myself all worked up over these stories about an upcoming extended cut of Richard Kelly’s Donnie Darko - which has one of the coolest websites ever, by the way. Just go ahead and click that link and prepare to lose hours of your life - and then getting even MORE worked up about rumors of a possible collaboration with Darren Aronofsky on a Kurt Vonnegut adaptation - a combination of talent that has me just about ready to soil myself with excitement - I figured I should dig around a bit and see what I could turn up. What I found was a killer interview with the man himself in which he goes in depth on the new version of Darko, his long delayed sophomore film Knowing, a project he’s written for Tony Scott titled Domino, another slated to star Kate Hudson, the aforementioned Vonnegut adaptation, an adaptation of a classic Twilight Zone episode, a script he’s written for Jonathon Mostow, another for Eli Roth, and a couple he’s even gone ahead and written for himself to direct, including one that involves a “a genetically designed, upright walking cow-beast.” Whatever you’re gonna say about the man you sure can’t call him lazy. Read the interview here.

Stupid, stupid, evil, cranky Hell-bent Miramax. You slippery, money-grubbing bastards. Again, sorry about the delays, it’s pretty busy this week - this story came up a few days ago, but I still can’t believe it.

Off the top of my head, I can’t think of a single respectable thing that Miramax has done in recent memory. The inner-7-year-old of whoever’s running the joint would be be SO pissed off at himself for doing this. Let’s look at the Lord of the Rings home releases for a second: I can understand, partially, that a company release a “basic” DVD version of the film and, much later, release a jam-packed extended version of the film for the hard core fans. It almost seems fair, in a way.

Not with Miramax - that kind of ploy is far too simple. That’s because in order to squeeze the little guy, the guy that has far less money than the smugly shirt-n-tied bastard at the top, out of as much money as he can, Miramax is bringing you Kill Bill in SIX different versions!!!

STupid MOTHdfngdllsdmfsergj ds DAH!!!!! SIX!!! So get in line for your Kill Bill Vol.1, Your Kill Bill Vol.2, your Kill Bill Vol. 1 Spec. Ed, your Kill Bill Vol 2. Spec. Ed, the Kill Bill 2-pack AND the Kill Bill box set at Christmas. Please, please, PLEASE: IF you must by Kill Bill and you havenèt already, please dontè buy ANYTHING until the big version is released. Seriously.

Garbage like this is why you need to have a Multi-regional DVD player, right Bubba? - G’head, tell us about your amazing version that will never be released in North America. G’head….

Curse you Korea, and your love for killer box sets! Fans of Hong Kong Cinema polish up your credit cards and get set to spend some money … See those crazy looking binders in the picture? See them? Aren’t they pretty? Want to know what’s inside? Well, frankly, just about everything you’ll ever need to come across as an expert in Hong Kong films, that’s what.

Fortune Star, an Asian film company, has bought up rights to a stack of classic titles and sunk a lot of money into completely restoring and refurbishing them all. Those remasters - apparently pretty much Criterion quality work - are now starting to crop up in special edition sets throughout the Asian world. Korean DVD giant Spectrum is just starting to release themed sets of the films in those dead cool binders. Already available is a set of six Bruce Lee films with John Woo’s classic A Better Tomorrow trilogy due to follow in early May and the complete cycle of Jet Li’s Once Upon a Time in China films due in early July. Other sets will focus on Jackie Chan and Sammo Hung. Like my credit card wasn’t overworked as it is …

Forget the useless “strike-fear-into-the-hearts-of-the-public-so-I-can-obtain-false-trust” antics of ‘Orange Alerts’… how’s this for a “Freak The Hell Out of the Public” response: And folks, according to the New York Times and NASA’s top press officer, this conversation would ACTUALLY happen, if you had the chance to ask: Ready?

You: “Hey top NASA advisor! Do you know that movie ‘The Day After Tomorrow’ about the Greenhouse effect and massive weather catastrophies? - That won’t actually happen will it?”
Them: “Uhhh.. No Comment.”

That’s right folks, NASA’s official line for “Is The Planet Earth Poised to be Completely Screwed by Giant Greenhouse Disasters?” is “No Comment.”
No Comment?!?! What the hell is that? I want a comment dammit! How ’bout: “Hey buster, don’t you get yer panties in a twist, it’s a stinkin movie.” That’d be fine. But is that the response we’re getting? Nope. Stellar. Absolutely Stellar.

Now, apparently, a lot of this is just spurned on gibberish, but the New York Times did report it, so it must be true, right? Slim word out of NASA is that scientists ARE in fact free to talk about the film now, but I haven’t really found too much on that.

And of course, David Suzuki, the wise Earth-Man that he is, has dispelled any concerns in a nice little article he wrote here. However, it’s much more fun to freak the hell outta the public and watch them scurry in a panic. Maybe that’s why those Orange Alerts are so damn popular.

Okay, a while back I actually had something good to say about HMV. No really. They had (in fact, they still have) a “two packages with 2 movies each for 40 bucks” sale. My post that referenced this sale got erased because I’m stupid. I’ll take it as an omen. (for those of you who hate math, the sale means you’ll get 4 movies for 40 bucks)

However, HMV is, once again, very silly. I don’t know who’s in charge of coupling these movies, or who oversees the sales department, but whoever they are, they really need to be fired and let me do it. In fact, wait, perhaps I wouldn’t work at HMV - well for free DVDs, yeah.. ANYWAY.

So I’m strolling the aisles of HMV and I’m looking at these “packages of two” to see which films I’d consider taking home with me, cuz 10 bucks for a DVD ain’t too bad. Now, most of these “paired” movies match in genre or style. For example: They’ve paired Mobsters with Carlito’s Way — L.A. Story with Novocaine — Saving Private Ryan with Amistad — Old School with Road Trip. Catching on yet? If not, you’re an idiot. Let’s continue…

Suddenly, facing out at me from the shelf is the Special Edition 2-Disc set of Scarface. Scarface! Purchased with the right movies, that’s Scarface for 10 bucks!. A Bargain! I had nearly decided to purchase the package no matter WHAT movie it was coupled with… until I turned the package over… And what was it?

Folks, the Ugly Nerdling at HMV who puts these together packaged Scarface with: The Fast and the Furious. I know. It’s criminal. And you know what else? Whoever it is, is getting paid more than me!! Is this a cruel world or what? How did this person get this job -or better yet- how does he KEEP his job?? Unbelievable.

May the people at HMV know that I WAS going to make a 40+ dollar purchase at your store - until I saw this bastard coupling. I then ran away. And probably cried a while.

Canadian author William Gibson - best known for his creation of the ‘cyberpunk’ concept in Neuromancer - is having his latest work adapted for the big screen. Pattern Recognition, Gibson’s first and only work to be set in the present day, has been picked up by Warner Brothers with Peter Weir slated to direct. This is one of the only Gibson novels I haven’t read but his other stuff is notoriously dense and pretty much unadaptable. Here’s hoping that this turns out better than Johnny Mnemonic. Shudder.

Well, let’s spur the rumours a little more shall we? The last rumour I heard sputtering on James Bond’s lawn was “Orlando Bloom”, which somewhere along the way here, I strongly disagreed with; at the risk of infuriating crushing teenaged females.

Hugh Jackman being the James Bond is a choice I’d be much more comfortable with. I’m sure there’s some things in there that I may have issue with, but I really can’t think of them at the moment. Kind of a sharp looking bloke — Younger then Pierce, but older than Orlando. I’d go with this one for sure I think. Although I’m currently still accepting resumes from other people. The photo is from an article in today’s emotionally charged dribble paper: the Toronto Sun.

I hate to say I told you so … Well, no. That’s not true. I’ve got no problem saying it at all. And I told you so. Fans hoping against hope that Peter Jackson would be filming the Hobbit following his take on King Kong despite not holding the rights are just going to have to keep on waiting, because Variety is reporting that Jackson and company are currently circling their next project and The Hobbit it aint.

In keeping with his long stated desire to make a small, largely effects free film following the grind of the Lord of the Rings flicks Jackson is looking at picking up the rights to “The Lovely Bones”, a novel narrated by a 14 year old girl following her rape and murder. A surprising choice for those who know Jackson only from his work on Lord, but right in keeping with his lesser known work on the stellar Heavenly Creatures. Heavenly Creatures was a great little flick that gave Kate Winslet her start in feature films and I’m personally greatly looking forward to seeing what Jackson can do in a more intimate setting again …

If you’ve been reading this site for a while you know I’m more than a little excited about an upcoming Japanese sci-fi flick called Casshern. It opens in Japan tomorrow and it looks as though those of us who have been drooling all over the trailer may have a thing or two to look forward to …

I’m still looking for a decent translation of this but from the garbled info I can pull out of Babelfish it appears that an American studio is currently negotiating for distribution rights to the original film as well as rights to a potential remake. If the remake happens the local boys will employ original director Kazuaki Kiriya to adapt and helm the local version.

No word yet on which American studio is going after it, but as soon as I can dig that up I’ll let you know. In the meantime go watch the trailer another five or six times. It’s here. Zowie.

I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. I make no secret at all of the fact that I’m a HUGE admirer of Darren Aronofsky and I’ve been watching in agony as project after project has fallen apart on him … Seriously, this guy is just as snake bitten as Terry Gilliam when it comes to getting a project off the ground. The Batman picture he co-scripted with Frank Miller got the kibosh, who knows if his Lone Wolf and Cub adaptation will ever get off the ground, and most spectacularly his big budget sci-fi pic The Fountain got killed when star Brad Pitt walked out (reportedly because he couldn’t understand the script) a mere week before shooting was scheduled to start. Well, two sweeeeeet pieces of Aronofsky news have just bubbled to the surface …

First: The Fountain is back on with Hugh Jackman taking over the role that was to be Brad Pitt’s. Hugh makes me a happy man. Cate Blanchett, Ellen Burstyn, and Aronofsky regular Sean Gullette round out the cast.

Second: This is the biggie. Aint it Cool is reporting that once Aronofsky finishes work on The Fountain he’ll be moving on to make The Watchmen, a film based on the classic, Hugo Award winning, graphic novel. A Watchmen film has been rumored for at least ten years with a slew of directors names floating around, including Terry Gilliam’s at one point. The Watchmen is dense and difficult yet stunning material if handled correctly, and my money says Aronofsky’s the right guy. Whee!

In the movie Demolition Man, Sylvester Stallone’s character Spartan is frozen and woken up in a Utopian future. In this future Stallone hears mention of the Schwarzenegger Presidential Library.

Spartan: “The actor? I thought he was Austrian?”
Huxley: “He is, but in he spearheaded a movement to have non-American born citizens to be accepted for presidential candidacy.”

Now it appears that rumours have it that California’s Governor Schwarzenegger is doing just that.

I wonder if we can blame Stallone for this??

Many, many thanks to Opus for digging this up …

Donnie Darko just may be the finest debut film that I’ve ever seen. It released at exactly the wrong time (the plane engine dropping through a teenage boy’s roof didn’t play particularly well in the aftermath of 9-11) but has deservedly developed a strong cult following and according to CNN that’s enough for Newmarket Films to give a theatrical run to a new directors version of the film that runs a solid 20 minutes longer than the original.

Hopefully this time the theatrical run includes Canada. Bubba is pleased. Bubba is very, very pleased.

Not sure how long this has been available but I’ve just come across the complete list of films set to appear at this year’s edition of the Cannes film festival and though a few titles are old by North American standards the list as a whole is a doozy … In my little world these would be the highlights:

Pedro Almodavar - Bad Education
Wong Kar Wai - 2046
Oliver Assayas - Clean
Michael Moore - Faranheit 911
Chan Wook Park - Old Boy
Mamoru Oshii - Innocence
Zhang Yimou - House of Flying Daggers
Wolfgang Peterson - Troy

Gotta say it’s a little strange to see Shrek 2 in the competition list … and according to Aint It Cool the listing there for Kill Bill Volume 2 is actually going to be the re-edited back together Kill Bill uber edition. The whole list is available here.

Sorry about the lower rate of my postings this week folks, my show opens this week and it has been nothing but rehearsing.

However, I needed to break to simply let the world know that this guy is my new hero. On top of that, the guy who wrote and directed it is 4 years younger than me, which also makes me feel useless. He’s fairly new to this whole movie scene, but kick me up the back road if this trailer doesn’t look faboo.

Not too sure where Napoleon Dynamite will be playing, but I shall purchase a ticket.

So you think cartoons are for kids, do you? Well, Midnight Eye - in my opinion the best review site for Japanese film going - has got a detailed review up for Mamoru Oshii’s follow up to Ghost in the Shell that may convince you otherwise. As with the rest of Oshii’s canon it sounds as though Innocence is not only stunningly animated, but stacked with philosophical meaning. If the review is correct it also looks as though Innocence should be hitting our shores around September. Read the review here.

Lest anybody think I have been unfair in describing my co-poster Day-vuh as ugly over in his mean girls thread, I humbly submit this photo. I had to wake up to this for two years. And the question here, of course, is not “Why is Day-vuh naked?” but “Why is Day-vuh naked in Bubba’s room?” I wish I had an answer for you. I really do. At least his hands are out in plain view …

Well, what do you know … it looks as though Miramax is actually spending some money to promote Hero after having the film gathering dust on their shelves for a good couple years. A trailer for the film has been running in front of this week’s top two films (Kill Bill Volume 2 and The Punisher) which is some prime ad space and doesn’t come cheap. And despite some major flaws in the trailer - including one MASSIVE spoiler - it is sweeter than sweet to finally see the images up on the big screen. And as much as I love this film on the small screen the visuals are ten times as impressive when properly projected … this thing is eye candy of the absolute highest order …

Look at that!!! I’m famous!! In a dietary fiber kinda way…..

Well, back in October I pranced around the set of Mean Girls and have spent time since then wondering if the scene they were shooting was going to end up on the cutting room floor. I guess it didn’t.

Yahoo has put up a page of movie stills from the upcoming flick (Click here for the whole page). One of the photos in particular is this one. And who, may you ask, is in the picture? — Well, that’s easy.. Lindsay Lohan, Rachael McAdams, Amanda Seyfried, Lacey Chabert — and, the dominating male head walking immediatley behind them:

Yaay me!.. Me and famous people. The way it was meant to be. Next step: be the guy in the front.

Well, I don’t see a lot of online write ups on this yet, but I did see it in the daily today, so maybe we’ll get the flutter going about this.

Apparently, there’s already some table discussion about the feature length film as a few of the characters and general ideas have been offered. David Hasselhoff, the piece of work he is, is going to reprise his role as Michael Knight, but won’t be front and center. His son, possibly played by Ben Affleck, with be the man with the access to KITT, who will be voiced by the same William Daniels.

As long as this movie is loyal to the series, that’ll be a nice way out of the gate. Unlike that soul tearingly horrible straight-to-TV movie: “Knight Rider 2010″ that aired roughly a decade or more ago. My unmentionable regions still feel stretched open from that putrid, wretched piece of garbage.

Hasselhoff is keen to give Knight Rider a “serious” turn, and not make it a nostalgic comedy like Starsky and Hutch. Which, I think I MIGHT agree with, I don’t know. — In order for something I thought was incredibly cool when I was 10 to STILL be incredibly cool when I’m near 30, it had better supply me with a case of non-consecutive bills and the Dallas cheerleaders. - To start.

Okay this is pretty much too strange to be believed but it seems to really be happening … Fangoria is reporting that Pathfinder Pictures has signed a deal with Japan’s Klockworx Productions to bring Klockworx flicks onto US screens. Klockworx does some great films so this is a very good thing. But here’s where it gets weird … First film out of the gate? Takashi Miike’s Gozu which is quite possibly one of the most surreal films ever made, so much so that it makes your average David Lynch film look like an ABC after school special. A giant cow-headed figure, attack chihuahua’s, a wildly over-lactating woman, soup ladles inserted where no soup should ever be and a finale that borrows heavily from the close of season one of Von Trier’s Kingdom miniseries that just may make you want to avoid sex for the rest of your life - that part really needs to be seen to be believed - all combine for something very unlikely to pass through US censors unscathed and even less likely to do any significant business in theaters. An absolutely completely bizarre film. I caught this at the Toronto Film Festival - you can read a review I wrote at the time here - where I sat next to the film’s rep who spent the entire screening just shaking his head and muttering “This is so messed up … this is so messed up …”

And from out of left field comes the sequel no one was expecting: Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid. Which, of course is a sequel to the captivatingly bad Anaconda in 1997. First things first, this title is way too bloody long. The Internet Movie Database link I’m linking to has the title listed as “Venom” which is much shorter. I’m not sure which is the final one.

Now, I will admit, I actually saw the first Anaconda in the theatre and admittedly, I enjoyed myself in a ridiculous campy “Tell me they staged that horrible shot on purpose” kind of way. And whatever CEO greenlighted this one, I suppose didn’t get his campy-snake quota completely filled, because we have another round of what looks like the exactly same movie.

A number of pretty people. In Africa for some really strange reason. Who, not surprisingly, know very little about Africa. One of whom, well into the story, turns out to be so goal oriented, he’ll kill the other cast members to accomplish the aforementioned goal. (He’s the bad guy. - see how this works? If you don’t, you’re a dummy.)

Yahoo has recently posted the trailer here. I will admit, there’s a couple of neat shots in the trailer, but like everything else, this is just like the first one only the people are prettier, the goal more elaborate, the snakes more numerous and, as long as the campiness is even campier, I’ll watch it. No Jon Voight this time though. Shame.

Sure to ruffle more than just a few feathers is Michael Moore’s new documentary “Fahrenheit 911″, which is whsipered to be released sometime this year before the 2004 elections. On Michael Moore’s home page, he says that for the past few weeks he has been behind studio doors finshing the movie’s editing and other finalizing stuff.

Fahrenheit 911 will focus on the issues in the Bush family that has been kept well away from the media - namely those issues that tie the Bush family with the Bin Laden Family in terms of oil, business and billions of dollars. Better put, in Variety magazine, Michael says of the film: “The primary thrust of the film is what happened to the country since Sept. 11 and how the Bush administration used this tragic event to push its agenda,”

I must admit, after doing some research into the matter, there’s some stuff in George’s yard that looks seriously questionable. Apparently, one of the first studios to offer to distribute the film was contacted by the White House themselves “humbly requesting” that they not distribute the film. This fact is a little fuzzy for me, I really should be looking it up again just to be sure. Either way, the distribution rights are now being carried by Mel Gibson’s ‘Icon Pictures’ which won the bid for the movie last March.

One of the oldest of the Marvel Comics titles, and most likely one of the most difficult to adapt, it looks as though a new film version of The Fantastic Four is finally moving ahead and I really wish I felt better about it than I do … there are a lot of people attached to this thing that just seem wildly out of place. Not that they aren’t talented people (at least most of them) but I just have no idea what they’re doing in this film … Examples?

Director: Tim Story. Best known for Barbershop. Apparently a very good film, but in a wildly, wildy different genre and mind set from what is needed here.

The Thing: Michael Chiklis. An Emmy winner for The Shield - and he’s really good on that show - but he’s too old, not big enough, carries himself wrong and just isn’t Michael Clarke Duncan who was born for the role.

Johnny Storm: Paul Walker. Best known for his big, gooey eyes. Frighteningly the best casting choice of all the ones announced thus far.

Dr. Doom: Tim Robbins. Oh, Tim. Why? Just why? A fantastic actor who from time to time turns in a staggeringly bad performance, perhaps just to keep himself humble. I have a feeling this will provide enough humility to carry him through the rest of his career.

SciFi.com is reporting that the fourth Harry Potter film will be released November 18th, 2005. The fourth Potter installment is being helmed by Mike Newell, who seems a bit of an odd choice. In the industry pretty much forever Newell’s filmography ranges from the largely ignored Mona Lisa Smile to Donnie Brasco and Four Weddings & A Funeral. Though there are some solid titles on his resume the only thing that would indicate an inclination towards more youth-fantasy oriented fare are a couple episodes of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles. Of course I also thought Alfonso Cuaron was a surprising choice to do number three, and based on what little footage I’ve seen so far I’m more than ready to say that three will easily be the best of the Potter films thus far.

Now for the uninitiated book four is where the Potter books suddenly explode in length meaning there is going to have to be a good bit of trimming to make it into a single manageable film and word is the trimming has already begun … Apparently Richard Griffiths (aka Vernon Dursley) has already been told that his services will not be required for the fourth film as the Dursley family will not be appearing at all - a major break from the format of the books which all begin and end with Harry at his aunt and uncle’s house. Unhappy about the move Griffiths apparently went to Potter author JK Rowling and asked her to persuade Newell to put him back in and Rowling declined.

A new trailer for Alex Proyas’ I Robot has hit online and it’s looking pretty good in a big popcorn sort of way … The film still doesn’t look to have any relationship with Asimov’s book other than the use of the Three Laws of Robotics but I’m personally a huge Proyas fan so I’ve got some decently high hopes for it … if nothing else hopefully it makes enough money that people will let the man make a few more of his own projects … anyway, click here for robotic mayhem in glorious Quicktime format.

Well, I wasn’t expecting anything this bad, but apparently, the new Punisher film is really terrible enough to invoke random cutting of one’s self. The two reviews I’m referring to so far are on Ainitcool.com and really need to be read to grasp the scope of hatred for this movie.

- Review #1 - Harry Knowles
- Review #2 - Pyul MacTackle

Here’s just a few beauty quotes… Ready?

-“This flick had all the technique of a sculptor wearing oven mitts…” - Harry
-“if you think that there is no way on planet earth that you can think fondly about the old Cannon Films version… then go check this unflushable turd out. “ - Harry
-“The Punisher is ass, sheer, raw B-grade movie ass, upon which festering pimples threaten to burst at any moment.” - Pyul
-“You’ll actually want to be anywhere but in a theatre showing this mindless drek, because this movie fails to entertain on every level. It is, Hands down, the worst theatrically distributed film I’ve seen this year.” - Pyul
And Best Quote So Far:
-“Honestly, this is what happens when you cross Death Wish with 2 Fast 2 Furious while cranking up the butt rock on your brother’s Camero.” - Pyul

Well, how about that, maybe I’ll be waiting until it plays heavily edited for time and content on a Pan& Scan TBS broadcast. That might be wise…

Well, the trend continues I guess… Films from Asia that are shockingly good being remade for American audiences. Perish the thought they get shown the original. In this case, the original being damn good fun. Don’t go looking for ground breaking cinema here or anything, but I got a solid kick outta this flick. - Although I have no idea who’s at the helm of the remake. Here’s Yahoo’s Report on the whole diddy.

Basically, the mystery is this: someone gets a cell phone number, answers the phone at some point, hears “something”, they go batty, and usually die. With that person dead, inevitably, someone else gets the vacant phone number. Until a child answers the Phone. Then it goes really wacky. Creepy as all get out. And of course, the main character tracks the “entity” until it’s discovered that, albeit previously unknown, there’s a personal connection somewhere along the way. Okay, sure sure, some dramatic devices were pretty “used”, but bite me if it ain’t a good show.

And I don’t really care about this remake deal, because folks, whoever this little girl is in the original is AMAZING, they simply will NOT find a child actor that can overshadow what’s already on print. It’s simply the most disturbing performance by a child I’ve ever seen. Crappity crap crap.

Took some screenshots for ya…

Well, granted, I did call it, but it didn’t really come as too much of a shock that Passion took the box office tickets over the weekend this week. It has been 3 weeks since it was the No. 1 movie and was #5 last week, to reclaim the spot this week. Paul Dergarabedian, head honcho of Exhibitor Relations (those are the people that track box office numbers) said “That’s unprecedented. I’ve never seen that before. ’The Passion’ is just rewriting box-office history”. Good for that.

However, in even funner news this weekend, we got to watch a movie that Disney poured 100 million dollars into, rake in less than 10 million in its opener. “The Alamo” was originally supposed to be directed by Ron Howard and cost about 135 million, but they went with the man from the helm of Disney’s “The Rookie” to save money. — Who knows if that was a good move or not, although, having Ron Howard certainly would’ve kept it from being this much of a bath. I’m not a financial advisor or anything, but with Home on the Range not pulling in huge, the internal fiascos, the closing of the 2-D departments, and general over-all laggy public opinion (as far as I know) - Disney can’t afford to lose millions and millions of dollars.

It sounds rather funny, but it’s actually true — at least until Disney gets its act together — if they want to save a SICK amount of money, maybe Disney should stop making movies. — .. No really. - Think about it.

Are we not courteous or WHAT?

This entire forum is for Redpimp’s Complaints about Kill Bill and any related Kill Billness.

Apparently, he didn’t like it.

Actually, that’s an understatment. He hated it.

So much so, I have reason to believe it’s still affecting his dreams. In fact, that’s quite likely.

Redpimp, this forum is for you. Yell, in fact, Please yell and scream about anything Kill Bill Related within these walls. You have your own playground now.

Use it wisely. I’ll start you off: “Some people think Kill Bill is the best film made by humans”. There. Start the flow.

Again, this maybe old, but I haven’t been in the continent so lick me.

I’m quite happy to return home to find a trailer for Kill Bill Vol. 2 that only has roughly 4 seconds of that “car” scene that has dominated all other versions of Kill Bill’s Teasers and Trailers so far. I really didn’t like it. I think it’s rather silly and boring. Anyway, give it a click and check it out.

As far as reviews go, all the reviews submitted to rottentomatoes have been positive so far:
Summary of reviews..
Review from Films in Review.com
Ebert & Roeper’s very positive review - Listen to it here
A couple reviews from aintitcool

Ebert says there’s actually lots of dialogue and even goes as far as saying it’s “brilliant” and saying “Two Thumbs a-waaAAyy Up” Roeper even went as far as saying it was “complex” saying David Carradine may deserve an Oscar Nom for his performance. Ebert also said that Volume 1 wasn’t on his top ten list of last year, but that Volume 2 will be on his list this year. How interesting. On we go.

Jeepers, soak sun for a week and I miss everything.

Apparently, during “The Apprentice” last night - a show which, if I may be so bold, is about as fun as a corkscrew winding up the tip of my nub, Sony Corp. did a bit of hooking up and broadcasted:

A very solid brand spankin new Spider-Man 2 Trailer…

It seems to cover a lot of details in regards to the character story -and gives you a glimpse of the “character developments” that Sam Raimi was chatting about in various interviews — when it isn’t giving you some fine, skippy eye candy meat. G’head and check ‘er out.

Well, Well, look at this. After.. oh.. roughly 3 weeks, The Passion of the Christ has re-taken the number one spot after dropping to the number 5 spot last weekend. Why didn’t I say anything about that last weekend, you ask? Well, you silly spring weather person, I was in the tropics faring much better than you. Y’know, white sandy beaches, unlimited cocktails, blue oceans, 100 degree weather.. yeah that sort of thing. That was me.

I digress.

First, this past weekend: The Passion punched it’s way into the list of top 10 money-making films ever made, edging “Forrest Gump” out of the all-time number 10 slot by about 1.16 million dollars. - Putting it in the money-pulling ranks of: Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Finding Nemo, and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Now, this past weekend found the film at the number 5 spot, but it’s not too often a film drops past 3rd place and retakes 1st — usually this only happens when everything else completely sucks. But with Walking Tall and Hellboy still in their first week, it’s a little surprising. Now granted, it didn’t retake the #1 spot over a weekend or anything, which is where the numbers really count, but The Passion has been taking in roughly 1 - 1.7 million dollars every weekday for the past month now and it’s been holding pretty steady. And with a mediocre selection of movies opening this weekend: the best choices being “The Alamo” and “The Whole Ten Yards”, and with it being the religiously significant Easter weekend, the Passion has a pretty good chance of actually catching the number #1 spot yet again. (not saying it will, but if it’s ever gonna happen, it’ll be this weekend).

And, on a completely separate note, a travel tip: If you can’t speak Spanish, you can still go a long way in a tropical country if you keep saying “Pina Colada”.

I woke up and saw this out my window every day. Am I gloating? I’m gloating, aren’t I?

Well, I saw this coming but that doesn’t make me any happier about it …

More general stupidity from Miramax when it comes to an Asian film acquisition. I volunteered at the Toronto Film Festival last year when one of the biggest buzz films was Zatoichi, Takeshi Kitano’s take on the classic Blind Swordsman character that has spawned more than twenty feature films and a television series in his native Japan. There was such a big buzz around this film that I wasn’t able to get in to see it at all during the festival despite it being one of the top two or three films on my must see list. Everyone that did see it, however, came out babbling about how great it was and the film went on to win the People’s Choice Award - the only award Toronto gives out - as the audience’s favorite film in the festival. And I can say first hand that an awful lot of that excitement went up in smoke the second that word began to circulate that Miramax had just purchased North American rights to the film. It was like watching a slowly leaking balloon gradually collapse into the floor. Not only does Miramax have a horrible record with their Asian properties in general, but they’ve already squashed a couple other Kitano films.

So all of that to say this: I was perusing the message board on the Casshern website yesterday, hoping against hope that there’d be a North American licensing announcement, when I spotted a posting from someone who had just been to an early test screening of Zatoichi. And Miramax has dubbed it. I am less than pleased. You’d think they’d have learned from the test screening fiasco around Shaolin Soccer, which was dubbed until they finally clued in that the subtitled version tested out way way higher, but no. And I’m pretty sure that they won’t stop the tinkering there. This is just far too Japanese a film for them to release it as is.

So here’s my advice to you. Go buy the Korean DVD. The Koreans love their films and consistently put out very high grade DVD releases for prices comparable to domestic releases. As it stands the only way you’re going to see this, another incredible film from an acknowledged master of his craft, in an unmolested format is to pick up either the Japanese or Korean DVD release because there’s no way the Weinsteins are gonna let you see it the way Kitano intended. I went with the Japanese edition because it was the only one available at the time, but it’s mighty pricey. So go Korean. It’s available here.

Just realized that despite bringing this film up a few times I have yet to post the link to the trailer. So here it is in glorious Quicktime. Steamboy is the first film from the creator of Akira since that seminal film made waves worldwide with its immense scope and like Akira is reported to be all hand drawn cell animation. This time out, however, director Katsuhiro Otomo has moved away from his intense cyberpunk vision of the near future and into the odd retro-steam-tech world that crops up in anime from time to time. You should also check out the full site here.