The Rock vs. Christopher Walken: N’uff said
The Rundown, staring The Rock, Seann William Scott, Christopher Walken and Rosario Dawson is shaping up to be a “brainless” Indiana Jones/Alan Quartermain adventure flick which will pit good guy The Rock against Christopher Walken as an evil gold mining company executive who are both in search of an ancient treasure. Seann William Scott has potential as an adventure movie star, but Bullet Proof Monk was so horrible I’m having trouble taking him seriously at all. Look for Walken to be brilliant as usual. The Rock is a coin toss in my opinion. Probability of me seeing this one: About 6 out of 10.

So, are you going to raid a tomb, or what?
or
How I learned to stop worrying and love the babe

Well, I saw Lara Croft Tomb Raider II: The Cradle of Life yesterday, and now present my thoughts for your consideration.

First, if you’re expecting a great movie or oscar winning performances, why are you watching a movie with a title that contains nine words and a colon. No oscar winning movie contains nine words and a colon. Movies that you can still find only on VHS have nine words and a colon. The Killer Martian Pod People: Pods that Time Forgot.

That being said, I was not dissapointed with this movie, because it delievered exactly what I expected. Action, Angelina Jolie in a variety of revealing and form-fitting outfits, a plot that makes sense only if you don’t really think about it, ancient technology that far surpasses our own, magic monsters and the now signature weak Tomb Raider ending. Personally, I happen to like action and monsters. If there’s a plot at all, well, that’s icing on the cake.

There are basically no computer graphics in the first hour and a half of the movie, which is a refreshing change. Of course, after that they go all out, which only goes to show, whatever you do, do it as hard as you can and it’ll probably turn out ok.

Also impressive is Angelina Jolie’s determination to do all her own stuntwork. It’s no secret that she did alot of training to prepare for this role in order to make things as real as possible. Anyone who reminds me in any way of Jackie Chan automatically get’s a mark in the plus column when I’m watching a show.

All in all, definetly worth the money, or it would of been, if I hadn’t forgotten my wallet and had a friend pay for my ticket.

Just make sure you go in with realistic expectations, and you’ll have a good time.

And if anyone makes a movie about Killer Martian Pod People that Time Forget, you’re stealing my idea.

Today’s Tuesday Top Ten

Greetings all (by all I mean the other people who post to this blog, and the people who stumble here because of typos) and welcome to the first of what I plan to include as a weekly feature, the Tuesday Top Ten.

Basically, we’re looking at a top ten list of whatever I happen to be thinking of at the time. And so, enjoy our first entry.

Top Ten Movies You Should Really See If You Haven’t Already

1) The Godfather.

Basically one of the greatest movies ever made, and the originator of almost every mafia stereotype that exists today.

2) 2001: A Space Odyssey

Okay, so it’ a little slow, and more than a little confusing in parts, but still a masterpiece film based an a truly inspired book. A far cry from any science-fiction movie you’d see today, there are no laser-fights and all the science actually makes sense.

3) The Royal Tenenbaums

You’ll either love this movie, or hate it, but I guarantee you’ve never seen a movie quite like this before.

4) The Mystery Men

An excellent cast is what really fuels this story of a team of wanna-be super heroes trying to make it into the big leagues. If you ever read comic books or watched super hero cartoon, you’ll get the jokes.

5) The Fifth Element

A nice unique movie with more style than a room full of stylish people at a style convention. Watch this movie, I command it!

6) The Iron Giant

One of the greatest animated movies ever made, some really bad marketing on behalf of Warner Bros caused this gem to just quietly fade into the background. One of those movies you can get for the kids to watch, and enjoy it yourself on an entirely different level.

7) Kelley’s Heroes

If you enjoy heist movies, this could appeal to you. Clint Eastwood, Telly Savalas and Donald Sutherland are all in the U.S. Army during WWII. Turns out there’s a bank full of Nazi Gold (and any of my friends know I love a movie with Nazi Gold) just behind enemy lines, and they’re just the soldiers to liberate it. Think something more along the lines of Ocean’s 11 than Three Kings.

8) Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrel’s

The first Guy Ritchie film I ever saw, something very similar to Snatch. In fact, the two movies share a lot of the same cast. While this film did not have the budget or star power of Snatch (aka Brad Pitt), the story does a much better job of weaving together independent storylines into a single plot. Definitely grittier, more crude and violent than Snatch, yet somehow creates a more believable feel for London’s less friendly circles. Be warned, this is a British film intended for British audiences, and it can take two or three viewings to get accustomed to the accents and cockney slang.

9) Heat

Cops, thieves, Al Pacino and Robert Deniro. That’s all you need to know. Go see this movie.

10) One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

An incredibly powerful movie. One of my all time favorites, yet I can rarely bring myself to watch it, because it’s just emotionally exhausting. Jack Nicholson plays Randle McMurphy in a performance I don√¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t think he√¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s ever topped, though that’s a matter of personal preference. If you’ve never seen this movie, or read the book, then you should go out today and buy, beg, borrow or steal a copy of this movie and watch it.

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa… Hold the Phone a second…
First things first:
- If you don’t know who Bruce Campbell is: You Are Dumb.

Next, as it may seem, movie-list.com has posted that Bubba-HoTep is being released!!!! I don’t know who picked it up, but I REALLY want to see this sucker. It’s the one movie I would’ve harmed very old ladies at the Toronto Film Festival last year to see. I dictate that you see it.

It’s Elvis in an old folks home with crazy people fighting evil mummy forces. Yes, it’s true. Read it again if you like. But if that plot line doesn’t create the need to hold yourself so you don’t wet your pants, nothing will.

Okay, FINE.. if you STILL don’t know who Bruce Campbell is, you will probably know him as the wrestling ring announcer in Spider-Man. — But you should really know him from other lesser-known, yet more life changing films.

Garage Days is Solid for an Average Flick
Alex Proyas’ new flick “Garage Days” ain’t too shabby. Then again, it’s simply not shabby. We follow a band and their social ups and downs as they try to land gigs, shows and record deals.

I enjoyed the film, but I doubt I would watch it again just for entertainment value (except for the “Fun with Drugs” parts, which I howled at.) Mind you, Garage Days is a wicked example of a movie about a band without needing to be subject to the band playing songs over and over. It was the climax of the film when I realized that we were watching this band play for the first time.

Apparently, there are a number of things in the show that would make more sense to me if I was Austrailian (I mean, beyond the “drive on the wrong side of the road” thing). It’s got some solid laughs and some pretty awkward moments, and the characters are pretty well portrayed. However, the “pinache” that this band was missing in needing to be signed was the same pinache the film was missing that kept it from being a great film. Worth seeing once. Has it moments. Rock On.

Freddy Vs. Jason is coming!
Ok, you have to understand that I grew up in a time that the Freddy and Jason movies were the ultimate teen horror films! I remember talking with my friends about how cool it would be if they made a movie where Jason and Freddy fought each other. Well, it looks like dreams do come true! Reaction from people has been hilarious! Almost everyone I’ve talked to has said the exact same thing: “Man that movie looks like it’s going to be terrible, but I’M FOR SURE GOING TO SEE IT”. Obviously it’s going to be a horrible film, it’s Freddy Vs. Jason, and yet it’s going to be awsome for that exact same reason. I find myself completely excited about seeing it… and yet angry at myself at the same time that I’m going to be wasting 10 bucks on it. Oh, I’m so torn and conflicted!

In Defence of a Little Gibberish
Allrighty, I read John’s blog there about "movies with thought" and if I be so bold as to suggest a place where many incredible films lie but the majority of people don’t know about: Foreign Flicks.  In particular, Honk Kong, Japanese, Korean and Thai flicks.  Very, very tasty stuff.

"Yeah, but they got, y’know those subtitles and, I hate reading". Well, perhaps I can interest you with a discount on a Godzilla dvd…

Last night I watched "Infernal Affairs". Which is a juicy little "Cops and Triads" show about each side containing a mole.  Both sides are busy trying to discover which of their people is the mole. Meanwhile, both moles try to keep themselves secret and, at the same time, fish out the opposing mole.  It has flavours of Hard Boiled (A John Woo / Chow Yun Fat flick from Hong Kong, that if you haven’t seen, you really should) and even shares a few cast members with the flick.  Performances are solid, funky story (even though the elements have been done before) and has a spitfire ending.  (I’ve heard rumour there are two endings, and I’ve also heard rumour that Brad Pitt has purchased "re-make rights" to it.)

Either way folks, there’s a billion flicks out there that you’ll never see at your local big screen that could potentially blow your socks off.  Head out to China Town and buy some.  And go see Shaolin Soccer on the 15th of August while you’re at it.)

How much longer will the Superhero genre last?
Some friends of mine and I went to see The Hulk again last night. I quite enjoyed it. During the ride home our conversation turned to the whole genre of Superhero movies. After Batman & Robin killed the genre in 1997 (does anyone EVER want to see Arnold in an ice suit again?) it took just over 3 years for X-Men (which I personally believe is the best superhero film of all time) to single handedly save the genre. Since that time, almost all of the comic book adapted films have been fairly solid: X-Men 2, DareDevil, Spiderman, The Hulk, Blade 2 and a few others.

So the question is, if the Studios keep putting out solid films how long will the Superhero genre keep going before another hiatus? Or, could The Punisher (slated to come out next year) be so bad that it kills the momentum all together?

Too many characters spoil LXG
The title may be oversimplifying the problem. Lots of things went wrong with The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, not the least of which was a very bad script. However, another problem it had was one that many other films have fallen into: TOO MANY CHARACTERS. With so many players to deal with, I never really felt like I knew anything about any of them, and for that matter I didn’t even care. The director is left with being forced to use bad cheesy dialogue in order to communicate anything at all since nothing has the time to just reveal itself. Whenever a film tries to force too many important characters into those precious 2 hours of screen time, nothing good can come of it. As a matter of fact, I think only The X-Men and Lord of the Rings have ever pulled it off. I’m not quite sure what the secret is.

Johnny English could have been better (6 out of 10)
I’ve always been a huge Rowan Atkinson fan. I thought he was just brilliant in Rat Race. Going into Johnny English I was hoping for the same side splitting hilarity, and although there were several good laughs, I left the show feeling like it needed much more.

Although not an actual field agent, Johnny works for the British Secret Service and dreams of becoming an international man of mystery. Then, something happens that kills every single agent in England, prompting Johnny to be promoted to Secret Agent. John Malkovich brilliantly plays the sinister French villain in the film and he had me laughing every time he opened his mouth and spoke in his far over-the-top accent. Natalie Imbruglia fills the role of “Bond Girl” for the movie and does an ok job, but to be honest she really doesn’t do anything in the film.

Overall the movie made for an enjoyable afternoon at the theater. It had some laughs and giggles, but considering that’s all the movie was supposed to deliver, it really should have delivered more. See a matinee, or wait for it to come out on DVD.

When will we see another “Smart” action film?
My friend Trevor and I were watching David Letterman tonight when a trailer for the new film S.W.A.T came on. Trevor rolled his eyes and said “Oh that is going to suck”. Jumping to the films defense I boldly claimed that “Oh give it a break. It’s could be a fun dumb action film”. This raised the question: Why are almost ALL action films completely brainless? Why is it assumed that if a film is going to have good action, it can’t also have a decent story at the same time? The Matrix had both. The Die Hard 1 and 3 had both. Terminator 2 had both. Can you think of any others?

Suddenly Seabiscuit thinks it’s The Matrix
I’ve been looking forward to seeing the new Jeff Bridges film “Seabiscuit” ever since Jeff Blogged about it on his website last year. The trailers have looked promising and my anticipation has been building. Then, yesterday I caught the newest trailer on television and I moaned out loud. The new trailer features high intensity “Matrix” type music giving the impression that Seabiscuit will be some sort of high intensity action Kung-Fu film. What was looking like a wonderful little story of the human (and not so human) spirit, is now trying to pass itself off as a summer block buster. Good grief, pass me the sick bag.